I rub my temple. “I thought he wasn’t. We recently reconnected.”

“Reconnected how? Are you planning to get back together with him? He hasn’t been a part of Kody’s life at all, and now you’re going to let him jump back in like he’s been here the entire time? Is this stuff all from him?”

“Maybe?” I glance at the stack of boxes. Logically they must all be from RJ, but I’d have to open them to be sure. “It’s a complicated situation, Walter. I don’t really know what’s going on myself right now.”

“What about you and me?” He motions between us.

“I don’t know about that either,” I say honestly.

His shoulders curl forward, and he nods at the floor.

Before he can say anything else, the buzzer for my door goes off. My phone also pings in my purse. “Just give me a second.” I shift Kody to my hip and hit the intercom button. “Hello?”

“Delivery for Lainey Carver.”

“Okay. Come on up.” I buzz the person through.

“I guess I should probably go,” Walter says dejectedly.

“I’m really sorry, Walter. I don’t want to mislead you, but this whole situation is just . . . confusing.”

“I understand.” He bops Kody on the end of the nose. “See you later, little guy.”

He leaves my apartment as a deliveryman steps out of the elevator rolling a cart of boxes. I recognize the name of the company on the side of the box; it’s one of those high-end grocery delivery services.

Walter disappears inside his apartment without another word. I feel bad, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. I allow the deliveryman to come in and unload the cart in the kitchen. The boxes take up all the space on the counter. Once he’s gone, I put Kody in his activity center to play while I unpack everything. Fresh produce and ready-to-cook meals, as well as a variety of types of baby food, fill my cupboards and my fridge.

I have to assume that all of this is from RJ. I can’t even begin to guess how much this cost. Everything is name brand or high-end organic produce. I expected to have to make time for grocery shopping this evening, and now I’m set for at least the next week, if not longer. It’s thoughtful and kind, which is more in line with the RJ I knew in Alaska.

Groceries unpacked and put away, I feed Kody, then sift through my now-stuffed fridge and debate what I’d like for dinner. I settle on a pasta dish. It’s supposed to serve three to four people, which means I’ll have plenty of leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

The muffled ping of my phone reminds me that I have unchecked messages. I leave the package on the counter and bend to kiss a happy Kody on the top of the head as I retrieve my phone. I have two voice mails, one from my mother and another from RJ.

I listen to the one from my mother first; it’s a request for a call back. She left the message less than twenty minutes ago, but if I know my mother, she’ll call again before an hour has passed. She knows I’m home from work, and she calls at least three times a week to check in on me and Kody. She wants me to come back to Washington, but I like it here. I also like not being smothered. And now I may have another reason to stay.

I skip to the next message, and RJ’s deep voice fills my ear and makes all sorts of warm tingles happen in my body. “Hi, Lainey, it’s Rook, RJ. It’s . . . hi. I’m sorry about last night. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you, and it’s not for me either. I don’t want to take Kody away from you. I just want to help and be a part of his life and yours, however I can. I sent you a bunch of stuff today, things I thought you could use. When you have time, can you call or message to let me know if everything arrived? I hope I hear from you soon.”

He’s obviously trying to show me he wants to be involved. Buying these things is . . . helpful, but it’s not the same as getting up in the middle of the night for feedings or dealing with Kody when he’s fussy for hours. The only way I’m going to know if he’s really serious about wanting to be part of his life, and maybe mine, is by allowing him to spend time with us.

I listen to the message three more times before I finally call him back.

It doesn’t even finish ringing once. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to summon some courage.

“Did you get my message? And all the stuff I sent?”

“I did. Thank you. Um . . . I was wondering if you want to come over? I have all this food and these boxes to open . . . maybe we could have dinner?”

“I’d love that, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to invite me over. I sent all that stuff because I want to help however I can, and I figured this was a good start,” he says softly, sounding hopeful.

“It was. It is a good start, I mean. And I don’t feel obligated. Not really. Not in the way I think you’re thinking.”

“I can be there in less than half an hour.”

“Okay. Great.”

I realize I’m still in my stupid uniform, and I likely smell fishy. I take Kody with me into the bathroom and sing to him while I shower away the eau de aquarium.

I decide to go with leggings and a long, loose shirt. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard, but I also don’t want to look like I’m not trying at all. I’m back to my prepregnancy weight, but my boobs are twice as big because I’m breastfeeding, and my stomach is a little less toned thanks to how big Kody got while he was in there. I have a few stretch marks left behind as an extra reminder that I’m a giver of life, and I don’t mind them one bit.

I brush out my hair, braid it while it’s still wet, and finish up by applying a little concealer under my eyes to manage the dark circles. I exhale a long breath as I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and inspect my reflection. This isn’t a date, but in a lot of ways it feels like one.

My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since lunch, at the same time as my buzzer goes off. Kody lets out an aggravated wail, and I pluck him from his activity center, rushing down the hall to buzz RJ in.

I wait by the door, bouncing Kody on my hip while I listen for the elevator. I usher him in quickly, feeling a pang of guilt as I glance at Walter’s door.

I need to find out what exactly RJ wants out of this. I don’t want to open my heart back up to him just to have it broken all over again. It was one thing when we were both single and looking to enjoy each other’s company, but now my life is completely different. And so is his.

I close the door in time to see Walter’s start to open. I lock it and slide the chain latch home. Kody gives me another annoyed squawk and rubs his eyes. “Is someone getting tired?” I coo and kiss his cheek.

RJ holds up a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine, and a little gift bag and gives me a chagrined smile as he glances around my apartment. Since he appeared at the aquarium, he’s been sending me flowers regularly, so there’s a bouquet on almost every available surface. It’s a good thing most of them came in their own vases, since I only had one of my own.

I glance pointedly at the stack of boxes still sitting just inside the door. “As if all of this wasn’t enough?”

“I didn’t want to come over empty handed.” He rocks back on his heels and smiles, making that little dimple that matches Kody’s pop.