Three days later, Kody and I accompany RJ to practice. I changed my outfit an unreasonable number of times, until RJ finally told me jeans and a team shirt with his name emblazoned on the back are perfect. He’s right: the arena isn’t crowded with people like I’ve seen when I watch game reruns with him. Instead there’s a smattering of observers spread out in the seats. RJ shows me around and introduces me to the players I haven’t met before, which makes me nervous since it means I have a whole bunch of new names to remember. Typically I have a great memory, but when I’m nervous it can be a challenge.

I’m relieved when I start to recognize a few of the guys who came over to RJ’s while my parents were visiting, and as soon as I see Sunny’s blonde hair, Poppy’s wavy red mane, and Violet’s auburn ponytail I’m totally at ease. I’m learning, slowly, that I can’t control all the things that happen in my life—but I can control how I react to them. The only way to conquer my fears is to face them with as many safety nets in place as possible.

“It’s so great to see you again.” Sunny gives me a side hug, since we’re both holding babies. And when we try to separate, we have to untangle each other’s hair from our infants’ fists.

“I gotta change and get on the ice. You’ll be okay?” RJ kisses Kody on top of the head and me on the lips.

Violet scoffs. Even though her husband doesn’t play for the team anymore, she still likes to come to the games so she can hang out with the rest of the girls. “She’ll be fine, Rookie—this is a bunny-free zone today, so we won’t have to teach her how to take down a puck slu—”

One of the other women slaps her arm—I’m pretty sure her name is Charlene. “Vi, censor.”

Violet cringes. “Right. Sorry. She’s in good hands.”

RJ kisses me one last time and disappears down the hall toward the locker room.

Violet slips her arm through mine. “We’re so excited that you came today! I didn’t really get much of a chance to talk to you when we came to Rook’s, but your dad is great. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that we’re all so glad you gave Rook a second chance, because this is pretty much the happiest he’s been in over a year. You know, when he came back from Alaska last year, we were all worried about him. He’s usually such a positive guy, but man, he was like Eeyore for a good six months, black cloud of doom hanging over his head.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, he was just so sad.” Sunny pats her baby’s bottom, and her three blond boys rush on ahead of us, along with Violet’s and Poppy’s sons. The three older boys are trying to keep control of the younger ones. “We all thought it was because of the anniversary of his father passing away.”

“Because he used to go to Alaska with his dad and his brother, and he ended up having to go alone last summer.”

“Exactly.” Sunny nods. “So the guys thought it had to be that, but then he told them about you, and well, we all realized he was just heartbroken.” She blinks a few times, like she’s on the verge of tears. She waves a hand in front of her face. “Sorry, I’m in the first trimester, and I get more emotional than usual. I hate to see people hurting, and Rookie was down for such a long time.”

Poppy gives her shoulder a squeeze. “He’s really only been himself again the past couple of months.”

“Since the birthday party, actually,” Violet adds. “Last year he didn’t date at all. He was like a monk. Worse than he was after that fake pregnancy.”

“Fake pregnancy?” I remember seeing something about that in one of the many unpleasant articles I ran across when I looked him up after I found out he’d lied about his job.

“Oh yeah, like a couple years after he came to Chicago, he had this woman who was obsessed with him to the point that she faked a pregnancy. She even took plaster casts of her pregnant sister’s belly and pretended she was expecting. She was all over social media with it until Rookie got his lawyer involved.”

“Has anything like that happened since?” I can’t imagine how I would deal with that.

“Nah. Rookie’s been on the straight path for a long while, so no crazy bunny business since then. He was celibate for a good year after that went down.”

“She was really crazy,” Sunny adds.

“Crazier than me, even,” Violet says. “Anyway, Rookie settled right down after that. And then when Alex retired, he stepped into the role of captain, and he’s been pretty grounded ever since. It’s hard to get in trouble when all your friends have kids and wives.”

These are all the things I need to hear, I realize. It confirms again that the man I met in Alaska and the one who’s come back into my life recently aren’t different at all. It’s just his job that’s not what I thought it was. That one omission doesn’t change who he is as a whole, and it doesn’t diminish the connection we had before or what we’re trying to build now. As I sit with these women and get to know him through them, I find myself growing more confident that I can handle this part of his life. The more I get to know him outside of our little cosmos, the more I want to make this work. And it will be a whole lot easier for both of us if I move in with him.

The transition from having my own apartment to moving into RJ’s house takes place gradually, over the course of the next several weeks. I run into Walter again in the elevator, and he’s sure to tell me, three times, that he’s on his way over to his girlfriend’s place.

Exhibition games start—those are a lot more crowded than practice—but I’ve discovered that I don’t have to enter the arena the same way everyone else does. I have the option to sit behind the bench—or up in one of the private boxes.

The other wives, specifically Sunny, Poppy, Violet, Charlene, and Lily, take me under their wing and act almost like my personal bodyguards. I learn how to deal with the media—at first they’re very interested in me and Kody.

RJ gives an exclusive interview explaining how we met, fell in love, and then, by the most unfortunate of circumstances, lost touch. It’s all made to sound very romantic, and he paints a picture of me that I don’t recognize but like all the same. He calls me brave and strong and brilliant, and I love him even more for it.

When the regular season begins, I discover how difficult it is to be without him. But at least when he’s away I have Kody.

During his first series of away games we have a warm spell in Chicago, and with it comes a storm. I’ve come a long way in the past year with the help of regular therapy, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to appreciate the beauty of a thunderstorm the way I once did as a child.

I pull all the curtains closed so I don’t have to watch the lightning and thunder, change into one of RJ’s flannel shirts so I’m surrounded by his smell, and check on Kody. He’s sleeping peacefully.

I turn on his lullaby soundtrack and settle into the glider in his room, breathing through the anxiety, reminding myself that we’re safe at home. After a few minutes my phone buzzes in my breast pocket. I slip out of Kody’s room to answer the video call.

“Hey, baby, I just saw the weather—you all right?” Worry creases his forehead.