“Thanks for your help, babe,” I said as she left.

Kick didn’t take his eyes off me. As soon as the front door closed behind Maree, he came to me. His hand went straight to the button on my shorts and a moment later it was in my panties, searching for my slit. No words were exchanged; our eyes did all the talking. And Kick’s eyes were loud. And dark. If I didn’t know him as well as I did, I would be scared of his intentions.

His finger roughly entered me, and he hissed. Pushing in deep, he began fucking me with it. My eyes rolled shut, and he growled, “Keep your eyes open, Evie. I want to watch them as you come.”

I shuddered at the hardness in his voice and in his eyes. This was the Hard Kick, and I didn’t know him so well. I realised I had no idea where this would go tonight. So I did as he said. Kick was completely in charge of tonight.

While his fingers fucked me, his other hand came to my cheek, and he roughly grasped me, his thumb tracing my lips. Our eyes remained locked and our breathing matched in its shallowness.

Oh god, I was going to come.

I was going to come hard.

“Let it go, baby,” he commanded, knowing my body so well. Knowing I was so close. “But keep your eyes open.”

The rough authority in his voice did it in the end. I came, forcing my eyes to stay open the entire time. My whole body exploded with pleasure, and my legs threatened to give way under me. Kick’s arms came around me, and he lifted me and carried me into my bedroom.

A moment later I was on my feet and he’d quickly stripped me. I stood naked in front of him, his eyes hungrily running over my body. He’d already brought me to orgasm once, but I could feel it building again, simply from the intense hunger radiating from him.

I needed to touch him, but when I took a step in his direction, he barked, “No.” His eyes snapped back to mine, and he lifted his tee over his head, and then removed the rest of his clothes. His cock was rock hard, and my pussy screamed for it, but I did as he said and stood still, waiting for his next move.

Desire slid right through me when he reached for the handcuffs sitting on my bedside table. “I want you on your back on the bed, with your arms above your head,” he ordered, his voice hard, not containing one scrap of the gentle, fun Kick.

And I fucking loved the shiver it gave me, from the unpredictability of him.

I did as he said and waited.

He remained standing, his eyes on mine. I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed he was weighing something up in his mind. It seemed like he was at war with his need.

“Kick -” I began, but he cut me off.

“Don’t talk,” he bossed me, his breaths starting to come hard and fast. And then he muttered, “Fuck.” He shoved his hand through his hair, and turned around and walked out of the room.

What the hell?

I shifted so I could lean on my elbows and see where he went, but he’d moved out of my line of sight. Moving off the bed, I went in search of him, finding him in the lounge room, his back to me, his shoulders tense.

“What’s wrong, Kick?” I asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer. I’d always wanted to know this side of Kick, but his intensity was freaking me out a little.

He turned to me, his eyes flashing anger, and that scared me even more. I hadn’t done anything to earn that anger. When he finally spoke, his voice was strangled, broken almost. “I’m mad at you . . . and I don’t want to be mad at you . . .”

I frowned, unable to understand the words coming out of his mouth. “I don’t understand,” I almost whispered.

“Fuck! Neither do I,” he said, agitated.

I stayed silent.

Waiting for him to explain further.

Hoping this wasn’t the end of us.

His gaze roared with fury and violence.

And I didn’t understand.

My heart cracked a little more, the scars of our love aching. It seemed that’s all we were destined for. Scars and hurt. And an inability to make this work.

“I love you, Evie,” he started and then stopped abruptly, like he was searching for the right words. “But I fuckin’ hate the power you have over me.” His words bled with the conflict he was obviously experiencing. “Fuck, that didn’t come out right,” he muttered. His eyes pleaded with me to understand, begged me not to walk away from this, but rather to stay and fight.

And so that’s what I did.

I fought for Kick.

I moved to him, and placed my hand on his chest. He flinched, but I ignored it. Kick needed my love. He needed to know this would be okay, and that we would battle our way through any obstacles that came at us. My counsellor instincts kicked in. “What power do I have over you?”

He took a deep breath and I felt his heart beating fast in his chest. “You have the power to fuck my loyalties up.” His words were raw and honest, and I loved him even more for that. I loved that he gave me that because it meant we could go forward from a place of truth.

“Your loyalty to your club?”

“Yes.” His voice was forceful, demanding, as if he wanted me to fix it for him.

But I couldn’t fix this for him. I could only try to help him sort through the mess of emotions and thoughts rushing at him.

“Why does your love for me have to affect that, Kick? Why can’t you have loyalty to both of us?”

“Because if shit ever goes down, it could mean that one day I will have to make a choice. You or the club.”

Clarity hit me square in the chest. “That’s the real reason why you kept walking away from me, isn’t it?’ I asked quietly.