Lifting my head and looking out the windshield, I put the truck in drive and head out of the parking lot towards the highway. When I spoke with Ellie earlier and explained to her what went down, I could hear her cry in relief and sadness as I told her about Avalee. I knew she could understand to an extent what Avalee had been through, and that shit killed me. No woman should ever have to understand something like that, and there is no fucking way a woman should ever have to experience that shit firsthand.

Getting on the highway, I make a last second decision and turn in the opposite direction of home. I need to talk to Jules. I can’t figure out why it’s so important to talk to her after all these years. I just know something in me needs to put that part of my past to rest so I can fully move on.

It doesn’t take long to reach the town she’s now calling home, and when I pull up in front of the small house that is located on a street with homes similar in size, I’m surprised to see how well kept it is. The grass of the front yard is cut low, and the flowerbeds out front look like they have recently been tilled, like they are just waiting for flowers to be planted. Putting my truck in park and getting out, the front door opens just as I’m making it around the hood.

“What are you doing here?”

Taking in Jules for the first time in over twenty years, I’m taken aback by how different we look. I don’t know why I thought there would be some kind of resemblance, but looking at her now, I see there’s none.

“I don’t want any trouble,” she says, letting the metal storm door close behind her with a whoosh as she steps out onto the small front porch, wrapping a long blue sweater tighter around her waist.

“I’m not here to cause problems,” I say, moving to stand at the bottom of the stairs below her. She’s aged well. I knew from rumors that she was a beautiful girl, and time has surprisingly been good to her. Her dark brown hair is cut just above her shoulders, and her creamy skin hardly shows any sign of wrinkles. I don’t know why I pictured her weathered and warn, but I did. “Really, I’m not sure why I’m here,” I confess, placing my hands in the pockets of my jeans and leaning back on the heels of my boots.

“Go home, Jax,” she instructs quietly, turning her back on me and opening the door.

“Why?” I ask without thinking, watching her body jolt and her eyes come back to me over her shoulder. Holding my breath against the pain I see there, I question, “Why did you do it? Why didn’t you love me?” I whisper the last part, which seems to be the question eating away at me most.

“I didn’t even love myself,” I hear her say before she walks back into the house without a second glance, closing the door behind her.

Pulling my hands out of my pockets, I walk back to my truck and get inside, where I stare at her house for a long time. I didn’t expect her to invite me in for cookies, but I thought she would at least give me something but then maybe she just did.

Putting my truck in reverse, I pull out of her driveway then look at her house in the rearview mirror. Ellie was right; I was lucky as fuck to have the parents I have. There has never been a day I haven’t known they love me, and I promise myself right then that Hope and any other kids Ellie and I have will feel the same way. They will never have to guess or wonder when it comes to my love for them.

*

“It’s your turn,” I tell Ellie, rolling to my back and covering my eyes with my arm when I hear whimpering and barking coming from Hope’s room down the hall.

“You wanted puppies,” she mumbles, and I pull my arm off my eyes to glare at her as she pulls the covers up over her head.

“The puppies want to go outside, and I’m hungwy!” Hope yells a minute later.

“Three years,” Ellie mutters from under the blanket, making me smile and shake my head, knowing she’s referring to how long her birth control implant is good for.

It’s been two weeks since we found Yury, and in that time, he confessed to the murders of three women, one of them being Vanessa Commerce, the woman who had gone missing months ago. Even though her family was mourning her loss, they were relieved to have closure and to know her murderer was off the streets and behind bars where he can’t hurt anyone else. Avalee had also been in touch with Harlen. She explained she was doing okay then asked for July and Ellie’s numbers after she found out they had also gone through a similar situation, though not as severe as what she endured. Ellie and July had both talked to her a few times and had plans to meet up once Avalee felt a little stronger.

“Do you want me to go?” Ellie asks, peeking out from under the covers, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“No, baby, sleep,” I say, pressing a kiss to her forehead and slipping out of bed, I walk down the hall to Hope’s room, where I find her trying to unhook the latch on the dog pen while Chip and Pancake jump up on the door, trying to get to her.

“Good, you’re here.” She sighs then points to the puppies. “They want out.”

“I see that,” I confirm, laughing as I open the gate, allowing both puppies to rush out of the crate and circle her feet, which sends her into a fit of giggles.

“Let’s get them downstairs before they have an accident,” I tell her, picking both wiggling puppies up and carrying them downstairs, hearing her follow me out the back door of the kitchen, where I stand shirtless in the cold, vowing to have a fence put up and a doggie door put in soon so that I won’t have to do this shit forever.