“No, we’re not together,” I insist and then glance at Viv, who is wearing a very large smile.

“That’s interesting. Don’t you think that’s interesting, Nancy?”

“Very,” Nancy says with a smile.

I look at the two women and can tell that they are both up to something. Between them and Kenton, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

“So, Viv said you used to be a dancer. Is that right?” Nancy asks while we’re sitting at the dinner table a short time later.

I start to choke on my sip of tea. Kenton pats my back, and I wipe my eyes with my napkin, trying to figure a way out of this.

“She was, and in Vegas no less,” Viv confirms. “Maybe we could have her teach us some moves.”

“Oh, God,” I breathe into my napkin, feeling my face heat up.

“There is nothing to be embarrassed about, child. Hell, if I looked like you, I would never wear clothes,” Nancy says, and I hear a few chuckles.

“This is not really happening,” I chant to myself, looking over at Kenton, whose whole body is shaking with the force of his silent laugher. “This is not funny,” I hiss.

“It’s pretty damn funny.” He pulls me to him by the back of my neck, putting his lips to my forehead.

“Stop,” I tell him quietly, pushing at his chest, not wanting to cause a scene in front of his family.

He smiles again and shakes his head. I pull away and look around the table at everyone watching us. My eyes land on Kenton’s dad’s. When his go soft and he smiles, my anxiety eases somewhat.

I found out earlier that not only is Viv sweet, but Kenton’s mom is really funny and his dad is like a giant teddy bear who often shakes his head when his wife says something a little crazy, pulls his daughter Toni into his side to kiss her hair when she’s close, and pats his son on the back when he approves of something he says. I smile back at him before lowering my eyes to my plate.

The rest of dinner is a blur, and before I know it, I’m saying goodbye to everyone and getting into Kenton’s car.

“Did you have a good time?” Kenton asks.

I roll my head in his direction and glare. “Did I have a good time? Really?”

He starts to chuckle as he starts the car. I roll my eyes, laying my head back against the head rest.

“My aunt loves you, and my mom already adores you,” he says softly as I feel his hand on the bare skin of my thigh.

I pick up his hand, putting it back on his side of the console as he pulls out of the driveway. “Your whole family is very sweet,” I tell him, watching as the corner of his mouth lifts up.

“I thought for sure we were making progress,” he says, taking his eyes off the road to look at me with his lips twitching.

“You thought wrong.” I turn my head away from him, watching out the car window as the scenery quickly flies by.

“You work tonight?”

“Yep,” I answer shortly.

“What time?”

“I gotta be there by eleven.” I roll my head on the headrest in his direction.

“You gonna take a nap?” he asks, his long fingers tapping on the steering wheel.

“Probably.” I shrug. “I haven’t really been able to get used to this schedule.”

“Can you get on a different shift?” He sounds concerned.

“If a spot opens up, I can ask to transfer,” I say, shifting against the leather of his seat.

“You gonna do that?”

“Maybe. The thing is…I really need to think about what I’m going to do. I love Vegas and everything, but this is the first place I have felt at home. I love the people and the lifestyle here. I feel a lot more relaxed than I used to, and I think I might see if I can find an apartment and move here permanently.” I don’t know why I just said all that out loud. Up until now, it was just a thought rolling around in my head.

“You have a place to stay as long as you want.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, my heart squeezing.

“You can’t move out for a while though,” he says, and his jaw starts ticking. “I talked to Link, and the cops are still tracking the guy.”

“I know. He told me,” I say, feeling a chill slide down my spine.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“The whole thing doesn’t even feel real.” I shake my head. Every time I think about what happened, I can’t believe how lucky I was.

“It’s very real. Five people were murdered. Don’t ever forget that,” he growls, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.

“I will never forget it,” I whisper softly, my hand moving to his jaw, wanting to comfort him, but right when I’m about to touch him, I start to pull away, realizing what I’m doing. Before I have a chance to move away completely, his hand catches mine, pulling my fingers up to his mouth, where he places a gentle kiss.

“Stop fighting this,” he says gently. He drops my hand to his thigh, where he covers it with his own. The harnessing warmth of his thigh under my palm has my breaths increasing. “Stop fighting us.”

“There’s no us,” I tell him, shaking my head, trying to pull my hand away.

“You’re so f**king stubborn.” He tightens his hold on me.

“And you’re an ass,” I growl, and the car jerks to the right, onto the side of the road.

My body goes forward when he slams on the brakes. His hand goes to my seatbelt, and as soon as he presses the button, he pulls me over and onto his lap. One hand goes to my waist and the other to the back of my head and into my hair, forcing my head to the side.

“Stop,” I hiss, trying to wiggle free.

“No. Every time I knock one brick out of place, you put ten more in its place,” he seethes.

“Let me go.”

“If I have to keep kissing you to prove there is something between us, then f**k it.” His hand in my hair fists tighter as he pulls my head back, holding me immobile. “I told you before not to f**king lie to me.”

“Please.” I don’t know if I’m asking him to kiss me or stop what he’s doing, but the second the word leaves my mouth, his comes down on mine, possessing me with his kiss. I let go, completely drowning in him and his taste. My hands go to his long hair, gripping it between my fingers.

I whimper into his mouth as his other hand skims the underside of my breast. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want him. He makes me feel again—something I haven’t done in a long time. Something about him makes me want to open up, but the part of me that clicked into place to protect myself when they took my son was so strong I didn’t know if anyone would be able to get to the real me again.

“Every time I get my mouth on you, you melt,” he says against my lips when he pulls his away from mine. “I know you’ve been hurt.” I close my eyes, turning my face away from him. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I won’t stop until I have you.”

I shake my head. He turns my face back towards him, placing a soft kiss on my forehead then my lips before lifting me off him, setting me back in my seat, pulling my seatbelt around me, and buckling me in place. We drive in silence for a long time. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but all I can think about is what would happen if I gave him a chance. Then I wonder if Link told him what happened to me.

“Have you talked to Link about me?” I ask, looking over at him. I don’t like the idea of him learning things about my history from someone else.

“To be honest with you, he offered to tell me about you.” He looks over at me, his hand coming to my thigh and giving it a squeeze before his eyes go back to the road. “I want you to be the one to tell me. I want you to trust me with whatever it is that has forced you to put up those barriers around yourself.”

I let out a long breath, one I didn’t know I was holding.

“I want you to come to me, Autumn,” he says softly.

Those words make my heart break a little. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to go to anyone ever again. I close my eyes and fight back the tears that’ve started stinging my nose. When we get to the house, he says a quiet goodbye, telling me that he has some business to take care of. I nod, go into the house, and straight up to my room, where I crawl into bed, pulling the pillow over my head so I can cry.

Chapter 5

Done, I’ll Give Her Crazy

(Oops, did I do that?)

“We have a Life Flight coming in,” Tara says, coming into the room where I’ve been taking care of a patient. I automatically stop what I’m doing and follow her. “Derik has already started getting things ready. The victim is a young male suffering head trauma,” she says as we hurry into the emergency room.

As soon as the helicopter lands on the roof, Tara and Derik are out of the room, meeting it, while I stay behind and make sure we have enough supplies and everything is in order. When they arrive at the room, my world feels like it closes in around me. A little boy no older than ten is strapped to the gurney. His neck is in a brace, his face is cut and swollen, and his head is bandaged, blood seeping through the white gauze they’ve used to protect the wound. All I can see is my son. He would be about as old as the boy is. My brain tries to tell my body to move, but I can’t. I’m glued to the floor.

“Autumn, I need you to come over here and help me transfer him,” I hear Derik say, but all I can do is stare.

“Autumn!” Tara shouts, and my eyes go to her as she shakes her head and then nods towards the young boy, asking me a silent question. I shake my head in response.

“Autumn, I need you to pull it together. We need to help this little guy get better,” Derik says gently.

My eyes go to him and I swallow the bile in the back of my throat, turning my emotions off before I start to work on autopilot. For the next twenty minutes, we do everything we can to help save the boy before he is taken into emergency surgery.

“What happened in there?” Tara asks, sitting down next to me on the bench outside of the emergency room.

I shake my head before looking over at her. “I have a son.” I close my eyes before opening them again. “I had a son,” I whisper, correcting myself bitterly. “I put him up for adoption when he was just hours old.” I look down at the floor, seeing small drops of blood on the tops of my shoes. “He would be about the age of that little boy. I’m so sorry I freaked. I…” I take a breath, closing my eyes. “I’ve never even thought about something like this happening.” I feel an arm go around my back and Tara’s head lean against my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

I nod as tears fill my eyes. I never once thought I would have to help a child. I’m so stupid. “All I could think about when I saw that boy was my son lying there.”

“Honey,” she moans painfully, making me bite the inside of me cheek. Taking comfort from people is something new to me. Hell, having someone care enough about me to comfort me is something new to me.

“I think I need to leave for the night,” I tell her when I feel tears begin to fall from my eyes. “I’ll see if I can get someone to come in. I just don’t think I’m going to be a lot of help right now.” I breathe through my tears.

“Rach needs hours. She’ll come in. I’ll give her a call now,” Tara says softly.

“Thank you,” I whisper, wiping my face. I never cry in front of people. I was never allowed to show emotion like that. One of my mother’s favorite sayings was, “If you want to cry, I will give you something to cry about,” and she often kept her word.

“Go home and sleep, girl, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tara assures me, rubbing my back.

I stand, giving her a quick hug before I make my way to the front desk. I grab my bag and head out to the parking lot. Once I have my car door unlocked, I toss my bag into the passenger’s seat, get behind the wheel, and shut the door. I lean my head back and close my eyes.

All I keep seeing over and over is the little boy, his face bruised and battered from the car accident he was in. I can’t even imagine what his parents are feeling right now. I turn the car on, more tears filling my eyes.

I don’t even know how I make it back to Kenton’s. Once I let myself into the house, I quickly set the alarm before heading upstairs. When I reach the top landing, Kenton’s standing in his bedroom door. His shirt is off and the pajama pants he’s wearing are barely hanging on his hips. I look at the hand he has resting against his thigh, seeing that he’s holding a gun.

I look up at his face again. This time when our eyes meet, his are concerned. Something inside me snaps and I run to him, seeing surprise on his face right before I shove mine into his chest and my arms wrap around his waist as I sob loudly.

“Baby?” he whispers, pulling me harder against him. I’m grateful that he doesn’t say anything else for a long time; he just stands there holding me in his arms, offering me comfort. “Come on. Let’s lay down.” He pulls me with him to the bed, sets me on the edge, and then lays his gun on the nightstand before going to the dresser. I watch as he pulls out a shirt before coming back to me.

I take the shirt from him as he turns around, giving me a little privacy to change. I pull off my scrub top quickly, tug his shirt on, and then kick off my shoes along with my pants. I scoot up the bed as he turns back around. He climbs into bed and his big body wraps around me, holding me against his chest.

“Talk to me,” he says as his hand slides through my hair.

I take a breath, my heart beating out of my chest because of what I’m going to tell him. “When I was sixteen, I got pregnant,” I whisper, feeling his muscles tighten. “When my mom found out, she sent me away to a home for girls who were expecting.” Tears begin to fill my eyes again, so I squeeze them tightly, trying to fight them off. “The day I had my son, I got to spend two hours with him before they took him away from me.” I feel a knot form in my throat, making it hard to breathe. “I never wanted to give him up.”