“I am.” She gestures down the narrow diner and Chevy’s watching us from Pigpen’s booth. “We decided to have breakfast, but when we walked in, I saw you two mixed up in a wrestling match. I don’t think it would be appropriate for Violet to be reduced to throwing steak knives. We should at least have the decency to wait until she’s eighteen.”

Eli shrugs. “She could be charged as an adult then. Better for her to get it out of her system now.”

“I could see where you would think that. Now, what’s the problem?”

“She’s seventeen and thinks she knows everything,” Eli says while I say, “He won’t let me go home.”

I almost add that I’m eighteen now, not seventeen. That I left seventeen behind in the basement dungeon, but everyone seems to have lapsed about my birthday. Chevy remembered that night, but hasn’t brought it up since. Honestly, I’m fine with it having been forgotten. I don’t think I could stomach giving the Terror another excuse to throw a “party” in my honor and I don’t feel at all celebratory.

“I see.” Her eyes flicker between me and Eli before choosing to remain on him. “Why can’t she go home? You said if Chevy wanted he could return home. The only reason he’s still at the clubhouse is because he doesn’t want to be away from Violet.”

I twist my lips to the left because there are so many portions of that I wasn’t aware of and don’t know how to process. But of course Chevy was given a choice. He has a penis. And I was not given a choice because I’m a girl.

Eli looks like he wants to rip off his skin. “Violet’s mom wants to be at the cabin so we can keep an eye on her, Stone and Violet.”

“Jenny is another subject for another time, so I’m going to leave her out of the conversation.” Nina understands my issues with my mother. When I was dating Chevy, she patted my hand and explained, Your mother can do things for herself, but she chooses not to. She’s very capable. I remember that about her in high school. But some women believe they need to dumb it down in order to keep a man. Eventually, they forget they were capable. That’s what happened to your mom. Don’t be her, Violet. Never be her.

“I believe Violet has earned the right to have her own mind and make her own decisions,” Nina continues. “If she wants to return home, she should return home.”

“She’s not your kid,” Eli says.

“Are Violet and Chevy at risk?” Nina continues like Eli hadn’t spoken. “Do you think they are going to be targeted again? Because from the multiple conversations I’ve had with you and the police over the past few hours, I was under the impression the people who kidnapped them were under arrest.”

“They were what?” I ask, and Eli briefly closes his eyes.

“Arrested,” Nina repeats. “This morning, and before Eli has a chance to lie his way out of this, your mother knew. Chevy didn’t know until after you left this morning.”

Because he was asleep with his arms tucked around me until Mom took me to therapy.

I pick that steak knife up and Nina raises her eyebrows at me. I drop it only because I have always secretly wished she would adopt me.

“I was going to tell you,” Eli starts.

“Sure you were.”

Eli pinches the bridge of his nose, then lowers his hand. “I was going to tell you because once the men are back in Kentucky, we’ll need to drive into Louisville. The police want you and Chevy to pick out the guys in a lineup. They were arrested in another state, where they are facing other charges, but it’s expected they’ll be sent back here soon to face the kidnapping charges.”

A lineup. I slouch in the seat and deal with the mixture of relief and anxiety. Fiend is caught and I’ll have to finger him in a lineup. If he doesn’t plead out, I’ll have to testify. The ground beneath my feet begins to feel unsteady, like sand falling through an hourglass and I’m trapped inside the cylinder.

Peace. Justin suggested there could be peace and he also suggested he could and would harm the people I love. He never wanted the police involved and he expects me to help him nail Eli.

Eli and Nina are locked in an intense conversation, their words blending together and making noise. Justin wanted account numbers, he wants Eli to pay for taking his sister and eventually his niece away and he wants Eli to go to jail.

My throat thickens and I swallow as I look at Eli. He carried me to Chevy in the hospital, he’s here to buy me pancakes, he drives me absolutely insane, he doesn’t listen, he often makes me feel like my existence is worthless, but even as he’s arguing with Nina he glances over at me with pleading eyes, as if to check to make sure I didn’t disappear, because...

Because he cares for me.

I hate his way of caring, though. Hate how he controls. But how can you fully hate someone who does all the stupid things because that’s the way he loves?

My stomach bottoms out, and where I was hungry minutes ago, I’m now nauseated.

I can’t do it. I can’t be responsible for hurting Eli. I can’t be responsible for anyone’s death, because regardless of what Justin said, they are out to destroy more than Eli’s reputation, but if I don’t hand over the numbers, then what will happen to my family?

“You okay, Violet?”

I lift my eyes and Chevy stands at the end of the table, concerned dark eyes boring into me. Chevy knows me too well. Sometimes better than I know myself. Once again, I dig deep for the lie, but I can’t bring myself to try to deceive him. He would see through it and then start asking questions I’m not able to answer.