Panic floods my system. No air in, no sound out, nothing. Dizzying thoughts overwhelm me as the pressure on my throat nears painful. He’s killing me. Kyle is killing me.

My fingers scramble for my neck, claw at the stranglehold. My feet kick and, with a flick of his arm, pain shoots into my spine as he rams me against the tree again. A flash of black as consciousness is on the verge of being lost and I fight to keep my eyes open.

“Did you and Razor honestly think you could play me?”

White dots mar my vision and my lungs hurt. I crane my neck, desperate for air, and only a pathetic squeak erupts from my mouth as he pushes on my body again.

Kyle leans forward and his breath is hot on my ear. I flinch at the way his mouth moves against my skin. “We found how your boy was hacking us, and for that you are going to pay.”

The pressure on my neck releases, a gasp of air from my body, and I drop to the ground. Coughing, choking, my hands landing where he was crushing my bones.

Kyle paces in front of me. A short loop and his eyes are on me. “The day you asked to work with me instead of against me. You used me. You helped him get into my phone.”

Tears well up in my eyes and I throw my head back to yell, but no sound escapes.

“He has four of us, but not all of us, and you tell that asshole that the one he can’t find, he won’t. He’s the one that figured out we were hacked. He’s the one that noticed we were connecting to a dummy server. I don’t know what the hell Razor was planning on doing, but I’m back in control of this game. I want my damned papers, Breanna. I want the first one on Friday and I expect perfection.”

He crouches in front of me. “And in case you’re wondering how far I’m willing to take this, I left a present for your parents at your home. Manila envelope. Your mom’s and dad’s names on the front. I dropped it off, rang the doorbell, then watched from across the street as your mom answered and picked it up. In case you’re wondering, inside was the photo. Fucking push me again and that photo will be up on Bragger before you can say my name.”

Kyle stands, throws my phone at my feet, then a piece of paper drifts from his hands. It’s the picture of me and Razor and it’s spelling my demise.

* * *

I’ve been banished to my room, but I’m not sure what the consequences will be if I leave. They’ve already told me I’m forbidden to set foot outside the house, forbidden to talk to anyone on the phone, forbidden to do anything more than breathe.

When I walked in from work, my parents confiscated my cell. My father then grew angry red when what they thought was my password didn’t work and I refused to give them the real one. Razor’s codes are on my phone. So is the picture of me and him together at Shamrock’s and the ones of me drinking. They’ve seen the picture of me and Razor, but somehow for them to find it on me would be worse.

Funny how I was terrified of them seeing that photo and being disappointed in me. Now I’m scared they’ll see that photo and judge Razor. I’m holding out hope my parents will calm down and grant him a chance.

It’s one in the morning and my parents are fighting. So loud I can decipher most of what they say from my bedroom. Mom’s blaming Dad for being busy at work, Dad’s blaming Mom for ignoring me when I went to her for advice and Elsie’s crying in her room.

Neither of them seem to hear her or care.

Part of me had been praying Razor would show under the streetlamp on his motorcycle, beckoning me to climb down so we could run away. It hasn’t happened and it won’t.

My door creaks when I open it, and across the hallway, Clara, Joshua and Liam are gathered on Joshua’s bed. They stop their intense whispers and study me as if I’m a stranger. In the end, I guess I am. It’s never been a secret that I’m the outsider.

“Mom told you to stay in your room.” Clara’s home on break and I wish she would get a life like my two oldest siblings and never return. “Did you hear what I said?”

Clara reminds me of a dog nipping at another’s heels to force them back in line. She’s always been snapping at me and I’ve always turned tail and fled, but I’m not her submissive puppy anymore.

“Elsie’s crying,” I say.

Her sobs grow louder and so does Mom’s voice. “...do you expect of me? I can’t handle all of this on my own! My job is important, too...”

“Do you think acting perfect is going to make them like you again?” Clara smirks as if her words were sharp enough to draw blood.

“You won, Clara. They hate me. Everyone in this family hates me. If you don’t mind, I’m going to let you continue your gloating party while I take care of Elsie.”

She rolls her eyes and she calls out, “You’re getting what you deserve.”

“You never know when to stop, do you?” Joshua reprimands, and I’m not sure if he was talking to me or Clara and I don’t care.

Elsie’s My Little Pony bedsheets are twisted around her legs, and her nightshirt, which is actually Liam’s old T-shirt, dangles off her shoulder. The night-light plugged in on the wall near her bed casts a faint glow over my youngest sibling. Her face is red, her eyes swollen. Tear tracks mark her face.

She lifts her arms in the air, and when I’m within jumping distance, she launches herself at me and buries her head in the crook of my neck. Hot wet drops land on my skin and I close my eyes as I hug the little girl I wanted desperately to evade months ago.

I sit on her bed and she keeps herself curled around me, but the sounds of despair have ceased. Across the room, Zac watches me from the bottom bunk, Paul from the top. Both of them peek out from under their covers like owls terrified to wander from the safety of their nest.