“Shit, Lily. That’s just—” Losing her chance because of finances seems criminal.

“Shitty?”

“That’s not really a strong enough word. What would it take to get you back in?” I wonder what kind of strings I could pull to make it happen for her.

She laughs and lifts her head. “I’m too old, and I don’t do pairs anymore. It would take years to get back to where I was. Plus there’s still the money.”

“Can’t you get it out of your dad? Where is he? Want me to hunt him down?”

She laughs. It’s breathy and embarrassed now. “You can probably look him up in the hockey rosters. He played for the NHL. My mom was a one-night stand who ended up pregnant. She kept me, and he bailed.”

“What’s his last name?”

“Head. He played for North Carolina for about five years. He was good, but not great—third string. Last time I heard, he was living on an island somewhere, and he’d blown most of his money—hence the lack of payments.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” I’m angry that her potential was squandered.

“Not everyone gets to live their dream, Randy.” Her eyes are soft when she looks at me. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I have more than a lot of people. We’re almost at the rink. You should kiss me until we get there.”

***

I sleep all the way back to the hotel. I have just enough time to get packed up and meet everyone at the bus.

Miller shuffles over, drops his bag, and sighs. “I need some serious sleep.”

“Yeah.” I’m not capable of full conversations with words and stuff.

“I can’t wait until Sunny’s in Chicago permanently,” he mumbles.

“Not long now.” I stuff my hands in my pockets, thinking about the conversation with Lily in the car.

“Just a few more weeks. How was your night?”

“It got a lot better when Lily showed up.”

“Definitely a better option than the bunny I took off your hands,” Lance says.

Miller looks at me, his expression stony. “You were gonna bunny fuck?”

I shoot Lance a look. “No. She was persistent and couldn’t take a hint.”

Miller pinches the bridge of his nose. “You need to watch yourself, Balls.”

“I’m not gonna make your life more difficult, Miller. Lily came to get balled. That’s it.”

He takes a couple of deep breaths and runs his hand through his hair, making the short strands stand on end. “It’s not my life I’m worried about. I’m too tired to deal with this right now.” He leaves me standing there and gets on the bus.

I don’t bother to sit next to him since we’ve got lots of room. I take a seat near the front. I try to sleep all the way to the airport, but I can’t. All I can think about is what might’ve happened if Lily hadn’t shown up.

Last night I was just jacked up, but today I know why.

I jam in my earbuds and cue up the thirty second video I made last night when Lily fell asleep on me. Then I set it on repeat.

It’s not only about fun anymore. Not for me anyway.

Chapter 21

The Boot

LILY

The door to my room is locked, and my mom is yelling at me through it. And pounding. If she breaks her hand, I’m not going to feel bad.

Okay, I’ll feel a little bad, but this is ridiculous. I’m an adult. I get to make my own decisions, whether they’re good or bad.

I didn’t tell her I went to see Randy after dress rehearsal last night. The hickies and bite marks decorating my chest gave it away. I didn’t notice them, being extra exhausted from my night of stellar sex, until my mom loudly pointed them out.

I shove a bunch of clothes in a bag and call Sunny. She’s hard to hear over my mother’s lecture-yelling.

“What’s going on? Is that your mom?”

“She found out I went to see Randy.”

“And she’s freaking out this much? Wow.”

“Can I come crash at your place for a few days?”

“Of course. Want me to pick you up?”

Sunny’s such an awesome friend. “That’d be great.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen. Should I come up?”

“Probably not.”

“Okay.”

I end the call and keep shoving clothes and things into my bag. I can’t get to the bathroom for my toiletries, but I can always come back later. I open the door and step back in case my mom decides to come flying in.

She props her hands on her hips. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To Sunny’s. I’m gonna stay there for a few days.”

“Oh, no you’re not! That girl is nothing but trouble for you. I should never have let you hang out with her when you were teenagers. I should’ve seen this coming. This is totally my fault. You’re turning in to one of those brainless hockey sluts!”

I get my dramatic flair from my mom. I hope I’m not this bad. “Brainless hockey slut? I’m not a puck bunny, Mom. We’re hanging out.”

She points at my chest, even though it’s now covered. “Hanging out naked!”

“I’m an adult. If I decide I want to hang out with someone naked, I can. I’m having fun.”

“Fun? Fun? You’re having fun?”

The parroting is getting annoying. “This conversation isn’t productive, and you’re being a total hypocrite. Sunny isn’t a bad influence, and not all hockey players are bad guys. Alex is engaged, and Sunny’s boyfriend is probably the sweetest human being on the face of the earth.”