My heart.

My stomach.

Everything drops when I look at the bus; at the open door and the kid in his father’s arms, as he gets handed over to his mother.

Tommy laughs and Natalie smiles as she takes him from Josh who steps out of the bus and wraps his arms around both of them. He kisses his son first, on the cheek.

And then he kisses her.

On the forehead.

They laugh together—this beautiful family.

Natalie places Tommy on the ground, her hand holding his and they turn and walk away.

“Is it?” Dad asks.

I nod once, tears pricking my eyes as I try to hold it together.

I watch Josh.

He watches his family.

Time stands still.

After a while, he drops his gaze and shoves his hands in his pockets, his broad shoulders lifting as he kicks the toe of his shoe against the ground.

I close my eyes, trying to find some relief from the pain—pain I was not at all expecting.

Finally, I look up. Up. UP.

And everything stops.

Everything.

My breath.

His foot.

My heart.

His mouth.

My world.

Everything.

Stops.

Then he takes a step forward.

And everything starts again.

Only now, it’s all amplified.

He comes closer and closer, all while I stand still, afraid—not of him—but of the devastating love I still feel for him.

“He sees you, Becca.”

To be continued…