We’re testing each other. Seeing how far we can take this before something snaps. Most likely my dick.

I’m not going to crack though. I need to make sure that if I touch her, she’s going to want it. I don’t know what the hell she wants right now.

The only thing she’s made clear is that she’s leaving.

So I stand there, eyes on her, not moving.

She turns around and faces the stream of water and starts to wash herself. I watch the back of her, unabashedly, because she can’t see me. My fingers are itching to touch her. I close my eyes tightly and I know a sound comes out but I couldn’t fucking tell you what it is. I can’t get the image of me pushing her into the wall, ripping her panties off and being inside her, out of my head. I imagine the noises she would make and I swear I almost come.

This is bad, really fucking bad.

When I open my eyes, she’s facing me.

She takes her bra off and my eyes are glued to her tits. Like I’m 10 and this is my first titty mag. Her hand moves and her palm brushes against the head of my dick, so fucking lightly, but I feel it, my dick feels it, and it jerks under her touch. I almost pull back but she does first. Then she turns the hot water off and cold water fills the shower.

“Fuck,” I yelp under my breath, jumping out of the stream.

“You need a cold shower, Jake.”

Then she gets out of the shower and leaves the room.

***

By the time I get out, she’s dressed and on the sofa ordering food and looking through dvd’s to watch.

She hears me walk in. “Hey,” she says, almost shy. “I ordered Chinese. Is that okay?”

She wants to act like nothing happened. Fine.

“Um, yeah, I’m actually heading out now though.” Lie.

“Oh?” she says surprised, and a little confused.

“Yeah, I uh… I have a date.” Lie Lie Lie.

Her face falls and she looks away, but I can see her swallow and wipe her face quickly.

I run to her so fast I almost trip over myself, I squat in front of her, “Shit, Kayla. I was just fucking around. I’m not, going out I mean, on a date or anything. I was being a dick. I’m sorry, please don’t cry.” I try to wipe her tears but she swats my hands away.

Shit.

“You’re an asshole,” she says through a sob.

“I am,” I agree.

It’s quiet for a few moments before she grabs my face in her hands. She makes sure I’m looking straight at her, “Please, Jake. Don’t do that.”

I lean into her touch. She’s biting her lip. My eyes go from her eyes, down to her mouth and back again.

My tongue automatically goes to wet my lips.

Her eyes follow.

“Do what, Kayla?” Because I need to know. I need to know how she feels and what she wants from me. From this. If she wants to be more than this.

*Mikayla*

His tongue darts out to lick his lips, then his teeth follow and slowly move up his bottom lip and I watch it play out like it’s in slow motion. I have to close my eyes and concentrate on breathing.

“Kayla?”

My eyes snap open. “Huh?”

“Don’t do what, Kayla?” he asks again.

I think about his question. Like my answer will determine whether I live or die.

I look at him and see the concern in his face and I love him. Like love love him. And I want him to know that, but not yet. Because I need him to love me back, all of me.

“Don’t hurt my heart, Jake,” I say quietly.

His head falls for a second before standing up and sitting next to me. He takes me in his arms and kisses my temple.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.”

Chapter 39

*Jake*

She’s laying across the sofa reading a book on her e-reader. I’m supposed to be watching ESPN. I can’t take my eyes off her legs.

She’s wearing her standard pajamas, tiny boy shorts and matching tank.

Her feet are fidgeting, her toes curling and rubbing against each other. Her chest moving up and down from her steady breathing.

She’s not wearing a bra. Her nipples poke through the material. I want so bad to move over to her, to put them in my mouth and fucking taste them. Suck them. Lick them. I’m so fucking hard it hurts.

She has one hand holding her book and the other sitting on her stomach, her little finger sitting just under the band of her shorts, her top riding up her waist.

Her little finger begins to move side to side under her shorts, her legs slowly rub together. She makes a slow moaning sound.

I want so bad to be inside her.

*Mikayla*

I’m supposed to be reading my book, but I can see Jake watching me.

His gaze locked onto my legs, my waist, my stomach. His eyes burn with lust and he licks his bottom lip then runs his teeth over them. And it’s so fucking hot.

I can’t stop looking at his face, just like he can’t stop looking at my body.

My legs rub together thinking about how he makes me feel, the way he can make me come like no one has before.

A moan escapes my mouth before I can stop it and if I wasn’t so afraid of my feelings I’d tell him to fuck me, right now.

I watch him as his hand goes to his lap, creeping higher and higher until they’re at the band of his shorts.

I keep watching as he reaches into his shorts, grabs his dick in his hands, leans up slightly in his chair and adjusts himself.

I close my eyes, breath in and out, count to ten, then excuse myself to bed.