Alex seems too stunned to move. I can relate. I’ve never seen Buck act like this. Ever. Robbie goes back to asking me questions, completely ignoring Sunny’s sudden departure with Buck.

Daisy is quiet and observant—it makes me nervous. Robbie’s questions about my family remind me I haven’t seen my parents or Charlene yet. I want to check my phone because it’s been vibrating in my pocket relentlessly for a while, but I don’t want to be rude.

“I assume you’ll be coming to the house tomorrow afternoon sometime, Alex?” Daisy sets her empty glass down on the bar.

The last part sounds more like an order than a question. Daisy Waters rules the roost.

“Actually, I’m going to stay in Toronto for an extra night. I want to show Violet around the city. I plan to take her to the Guelph campus on Saturday afternoon. We could come by afterward.”

“You’ll have dinner with us then?”

Alex rubs my back. “Sure, sounds great.”

I didn’t stop to think there would be a family visit included in this weekend. I wish I could pull Alex aside and tell him this isn’t an awesome idea at all. I came here thinking we’d be locked away together for the weekend, having sex in every conceivable position known to man and a few we can make up on our own. Follow it up with a whirlpool bath and some Epsom salts for what I am hoping will be my slightly worn-out cooter, and that’s what I would’ve called a plan. I should be happy he wants me to get to know his family, but this is way fast. I’m not ready to be appropriate for hours at a time.

“If you think you’ll be there earlier, just call and let us know.” Her smile looks forced. I want to cry. She hates me.

As if things aren’t bad enough, I hear my mom behind me. Meeting the parents is stressful. Having them meet each other, too, is going to be the hammer of death.

“Vi, baby girl, there you are!” My mom flails excitedly, almost smacking Sidney in the face as he comes up behind her. “I wasn’t worried about you. I knew you must have gone to find your man to make him feel better.” She says the last part in my ear, but she’s yelling, so everyone hears. Daisy’s eyes have gone wide. Robbie, who wears a perma-grin, appears suddenly uneasy. Understandable, since a crazy woman has crashed our party.

The real shame is coming. This is just a warm up. I check behind her for Charlene, my backup in these situations. She’s nowhere to be found.

“Hello.” My mom waves enthusiastically at Daisy and Robbie. I brace myself for the impact of her lunacy. She’s probably three sheets to the wind. There’s a flask poking out of her purse. Way to be discreet, Mom.

“You must be Alex’s parents. I’m Skye, Violet’s mother.” She extends a hand to Daisy in what can only be considered one of her more appropriate gestures. Daisy smiles politely as she introduces herself, her bouffant hair moving in tandem with the bob of her head.

“And you must be . . .” She turns her charm on Alex’s dad. She’s definitely drunk. I can tell by her slight sway. I silently pray she doesn’t flirt with him in front of me, his son, and his wife, not to mention Sidney. This is too much to ask, though.

“Robbie Waters.” He gives her a beaver-exploding smile.

It’s the same one Alex gave me the first night we met, right before he told me we didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want and subsequently got into my pants.

“What a pleasure.” She winks, but it looks like she’s strobe-blinking. “I can definitely see where Alex gets his looks.”

This is disgustingly mortifying. I contemplate ordering shots so I’m less lucid.

My mom gives Daisy a huge smile, as if she shouldn’t be offended by the blatant flirtatiousness going on. “And if the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, you must be a very, very satisfied woman.” She waggles her eyebrows.

For the love of Christ, is my mother talking about Alex’s dick abilities with his mother? I glance at Sidney, who’s just standing there. I mouth “do something.” He shrugs, obviously equally as drunk and entertained. I hate them both.

Daisy stares at my mom, looking almost as disturbed as I am by this comment. She flushes and pats her hard pageant hair nervously. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

I grab Alex’s arm, my fingernails digging into his skin. He regards me with disturbed panic.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell him, because it’s about to get worse.

My mom is too wasted to muzzle herself. She puts a hand on Daisy’s shoulder and leans in as if she’s about to tell her a secret. However, the bar is loud, and anything below a yell is too quiet.

“Sidney told me when Buck was born the nurses wanted to take pictures. They said he looked like he was sporting a kickstand. You know how it is: like father, like son.”

Daisy’s eyes widen until I fear she’s going to look like an anime character permanently.

“Oh! I see. I—uh, I suppose that’s the case then. Like father, like son.”

I’m not the only one who’ll die of embarrassment tonight.

VIOLET

“Well, it’s time for us to be heading home,” Robbie says, his voice cracking.

“And you know”—Daisy leans in close to her new bestie, my mother, and yells over the noise—“I’m definitely satisfied.” Like my mom, she’s a hand-talker and accidentally whacks Robbie in the junk.

He’s up against the bar, so he can’t escape. This is appallingly entertaining. Robbie protects himself by wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against his chest. He puts his mouth to her hair and says something. The sound waves traveling around in there must be absorbed by hairspray because I hear nothing.