I rubbed at the empty place where my watch wasn’t, my desire to stay trumped by a sudden panic at how long I’d been gone. “I’ve got to go. Really.”

He grabbed my arm, stopping me halfway through the balcony door. “I can’t hide this, Ty. The next time I see you, I’m pinning you against a wall and kissing you. I don’t care who is nearby; I don’t care who sees.”

I pulled my arm away and stepped into the room. “Don’t threaten me, Chase.” I opened the door to the bathroom, Titan ready, body tensed for a command.

“It’s not a threat. It’s just—I’ve waited a long time for you, Ty. Don’t ask me to wait any longer. Not after tonight.”

I reached for the doorknob. “Stay here. I’ve got Titan with me; I’ll be fine on the way back.”

“You can’t go back alone—” he protested, his hand hard as he held the door shut. I watched the muscles of his forearm flex, and Titan let out a low growl.

I turned my head, looking into his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

Our eye contact warred for a moment, and his reluctant push off the door was one that surrendered more than it understood. I opened the door and let Titan out, stepping forward and stealing one last kiss in the moment before I stepped through.

He said nothing. Not I love you. Not goodbye. He stood in that doorway and watched as I walked down to the elevator, my quick glance back catching his eyes. I could have run to him. Jumped into his arms and let him take me away. Out of this life, away from Tobey and the team and the deaths. He had money, we had love. He could quit the game and we could screw everything and retire to a beach, our days spent with nothing but sunscreen and margaritas, sunrise massages and afternoon orgasms. I’d have babies and he’d coach little league and we’d be happy. I could taste that future as clearly as I could breathe. And I wanted it so hard my chest ached.

Instead, I got on the elevator, Titan licking my shin before settling against my leg, his eyes fixed on the door. I got off the elevator, walked through the lobby, and out onto the street. And there, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, Titan stuck to my side, my heart hard in my chest by the time we hit the stadium gates. I stopped at the security stand, gasping for breath, my hello short and stilted, a genuine smile of relief coming when I saw the guard reach down and hold out my bag. I hadn’t thought about it, had left it on the field, my keys and my phone inside.

“You worried us, Mrs. Grant, leaving your bag and your vehicle. You should have let us know you were going for a run. We tried your cell, but—”

“—it was in the bag.” I wiped at my face, my hand coming away damp. “I know. Sorry about that.”

“Hopefully we didn’t disturb Mr. Grant.”

I paused. “What?”

“We tried Mr. Grant’s cell phone. When we couldn’t get yours. Hopefully it wasn’t too much of a disturbance.”

I wanted to crawl through the window of the security hut and shake the man. Quiz him five ways from Sunday. Did Tobey answer? What did they tell him? Did they pull footage? Mention Chase? I swallowed everything, pulling my phone from my bag. “I’ll call him now. Thanks.”

“Absolutely, Mrs. Grant. Have a good day.”

I nodded, feeling faint, my legs wobbly as I walked through the entrance, taking the side path toward the parking garage, afraid to look at my phone.

I had never been scared of Tobey before. But suddenly, without even seeing my phone, I was terrified.

What had I done?

Why had I done it?

And what would I tell him now?

86

I didn’t call Tobey. I didn’t want to risk waking him up, on the slim chance that he’d gone back to bed. I loaded Titan into the back, then climbed into my SUV and drove home to face him. Before I pulled out of the garage, I sent him a text. On my way home. I’m safe. Love you.

It was four in the morning. Too early in the morning to make a life-changing decision. But too late in the game to lie anymore. I could see myself becoming a different woman, the kind who snuck around, who lied, who cheated. Too easily could I fall into that role. The truth of the matter was, for Chase, I think I was born for that role. I had been his since the moment we met. Everything else, everything with Tobey, had been a lie. A lie I’d told myself since my pregnancy, but started believing in recent years.

The car rolled over bumpy New York streets, and I glanced at the time again, hesitating. Then I reached for my phone, and unlocked it, my dial of digits slow.

It rang only twice, and then he answered.

At the sound of his voice, I started crying.

87

Dad let me cry, not saying anything, his silence comforting across six thousand miles of space. When I finally stopped—hiccupping once, then twice—my final sniffles long and wet, he spoke.

“Tell me what happened, Ty.”

“I messed up.” I pulled into a closed gas station, putting the Range Rover in park and digging into my center console, finding an abandoned napkin and blowing my nose into it. “And I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Is it Chase?”

I stopped, surprised by the question. I shouldn’t have been. The man knew me better than anyone. “Yeah.”

“You slept with him?”

“Yeah.”

“Was he Logan’s daddy?”

Fresh tears leaked. “No,” I whispered. “That was my first … Tobey was my first. That was the truth.”

He let out a hard breath. “I’m sorry, Ty. I wish—” He sighed. “I wish I could have done a better job of protecting you.”

I looked out the window, the sky already lighter, my clock ticking. “It wasn’t you. I was stupid.”

“All teenage girls are stupid, Ty. I shouldn’t have let you marry Tobey. Even if it was the decent thing to do.”

I said nothing, staring at the skyline, a narrow glimpse of it between two buildings. There was a long stretch of silence before I spoke. “What do I do, Dad?”

“You know what to do, Ty.”

“Spikes first?” I guessed, my voice cracking.

“Spikes first.”

“You haven’t even asked if I love him.”

“Oh Ty.” He chuckled. “Why do you think I tried so hard to keep you from him? You’ve been in love with that boy since the moment he set foot in our stadium.”