Desertion Page 38

“Do you hear yourself? How fucked up this is. We don’t need more shit on our door.” Nix runs his hand through his hair.

“You don’t think I fucking know what I’ve done? I fucking know, and I’d do it again. The fucker deserves a bullet. I knew that shit wouldn’t sit well for the club so I took the next measure. They don’t know we got her. We take her up to the safe house. We get a hold of Tiny and get her out of here,” Beau lays it out like he’s got it all figured out.

“About Tiny,” I cut in. “He’s pissed you missed his meet.”

“Fuck,” Beau curses, realizing his fuck up.

“Jesus, Beau, where the fuck is your head at lately? We just got good with T and his men, and now you’re pissing off Tiny.”

“It won’t come back on us. I’ll make it right with Tiny,” he assures Nix, but looking at him now, I can see he’s hanging on by a thread.

“Get her up to the safehouse. I’ll get Kadence to get together supplies, and Jesse, you can follow up tomorrow,” Nix orders and I nod. “You get in touch with Tiny ASAP, and you get them out of Rushford.” Beau nods this time, agreeing with the plan. “Right, I’ve got shit to do, then I gotta get home to my wife. Anyone else got anything to put on me right now?” Nix looks around the room at us. Now wouldn’t be the best time to inform them about Tiny’s info so I keep my mouth shut. I’ll talk to Beau tomorrow.

“Good, keep me posted,” he dismisses us when no one has anything to say.

“Right, I gotta go to Liquid. I’ll be up first thing with supplies,” I tell Beau as he gathers the woman and her child.

“Does she need a doctor?” I ask, watching her wince in pain. Her face is fucked up, a cut above her eye bleeding through the bandage.

“I’ll put a call through to Doc when we get up there,” Beau answers.

“I can get Bell to come over?” I offer, wondering if it’s the right move. Beau looks up, contemplating it. Before shaking his head.

“Should get to the safe house,” he says and I agree. Even if Bell would be okay with helping out, she still hasn’t replied to my message.

“Stay safe, you big fucker.” I call out as he walks her out to the van.

“Always.” He nods, and while I know Beau might be fighting some fucked-up shit, I know he’s still got the club’s back.

Even if it feels like he just fucked us over. He has our back.

Fourteen BELL

“You fucked him!” Lissy practically chokes down her drink while trying not to have a fit as we eat breakfast.

“Yes.” I keep it matter of fact. I don’t want her to think it’s any more than what it really is.

“Oh, my God. Jesus, Bell.”

“It’s no big deal.” I squirm a little in my seat, the after effects of our ‘ride’ have only just stopped being felt. It’s been six days. Six days since I gave Jesse something I definitely should have not given, but I can’t even bring myself to care. I knew what I was getting into when I begged for it. I’m not that naïve. I just thought he would have checked in by now.

“No big deal? You had a man’s penis in your vagina, and it’s no big deal?”

“Will you keep your voice down.” I smack her arm, hoping no one can hear her.

“I’m sorry. I’m still stuck on the news. He was being an ass, and then the next thing, you fucked him,” she says, but she doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get Jesse like I do.

“Right, that’s it. I’m out of here.” I stand and pick up my bag.

“Don’t go.” She takes my hand and pulls me back to the stool. “I’ll be quiet.”

“You better, or the whole town will know I lost my V card.” I look around and notice we aren’t being watched. Much.

“I just can’t believe you. Are you sore? How was it?” she fires off her questions one after another.

“I was a little tender, but otherwise, I’m okay.”

“Was it good?”

“It was nice.” I struggle to find the right words. How do you explain your first time with a man like Jesse?

“Nice?”

“Yeah.” A sly smile crosses my face and I hold it in place. Nice is probably the worst word to use to describe sex for the first time.

“You hated it,” she accuses and I have to hold in my need to argue with her. I didn’t hate it all, and that’s what makes it worse. I am dirty like Jesse said.

“I didn’t hate it. It’s just not what I was expecting,”

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know. It’s just different okay? Can we stop talking about it now? I won’t be seeing him again.”

“Why the hell not?” Her voice rises again and I press my lips together, willing my frustration not to scream out of them.

“Because it was a one-time deal.”

“Says who?” She doesn’t curb the doubtful note in her voice. If anything, I bet she’s willing to accuse me of making the one-time rule.

“Jesse. He’s not interested in anything more. I knew going in what he wanted. It just is what it is.”

She places her fork down on her plate and turns in her seat to face me. “You gave up your virginity and he only wants a one-time deal?”

I’m beginning to think this conversation is moot when she keeps repeating everything I say.