The pièce de résistance, though, is the horns. Big green ones, curving like ram’s horns, as tall as my Easter bunny ears were.

I went gentle, but I wasn’t going to let the man off without some ridiculous headwear.

‘Hey,’ he says as I suppress a smile. ‘I kept a straight face when you looked like Roger Rabbit.’

I press my lips together and adopt the most solemn expression I can manage. ‘Very regal,’ I say. When I turn back to the garlands, I feel something land around my neck. I look down; the May Queen wreath, the same as Jackson’s, but with a few pink flowers woven among the white.

I spin on my heels to look at him again. ‘Oh, no, you don’t,’ I say, moving to take off the wreath.

Jackson’s hand catches my wrist. ‘You know Ursula will never do it. Come on. Community spirit.’

‘I can’t be in the parade, I’ve got to organise everything!’ I protest. ‘The May King and Queen float has rotted through the middle – I need to either find a very talented carpenter or another float – and …’

‘Leave it with me,’ Jackson says, one dimple beginning to show in his cheek. ‘Be my May Queen and I’ll find you a way to travel in style, all right?’

I narrow my eyes at him. ‘In case you’re wondering, this is my suspicious face.’

‘I’ve grown pretty familiar with that face, actually,’ Jackson says. His hand is still on my wrist; I wonder if he can feel my pulse fluttering. ‘Leave it to me,’ he says again, and when he drops my arm I can still feel the memory of his fingers on my skin, warm like sunlight.

I need Ethan to get here. It’s been too long. I’m getting silly and distracted by this stupid – this whatever-it-is, this crush on Jackson. This week I’ve caught myself thinking about him when I shouldn’t be, re-running our conversations as I make dinner, imagining what he might have been thinking. Remembering the sandy freckles under his steady blue eyes and the feel of his body pressed against mine as I was thrown back against the living-room mirror.

I check my phone – I’m waiting for Ethan to text and let me know when he’ll get here – but I’ve got no signal, as per usual. I growl, turning back to the garland-arranging, my brain ticking its way through the list of jobs still to do: check Portaloos have arrived, deal with flooding in field currently planned for parking, ring the man about ice delivery, check in with Betsy on food stalls …

Penelope returns. ‘Ursula said she’d rather let one of those falcons peck out her eyes than be May Queen,’ she announces.

‘God, that’s … graphic,’ I say. I have clearly misread Ursula. ‘OK, I’ll think of someone else once I’ve sorted food stalls and ice and flooding and Portaloos.’

‘Breathe, dear,’ Penelope says, laying a hand on my shoulder. ‘You’ve done so much already! I’m sure Betsy won’t mind if you take a little break.’

‘Penelope,’ I say, patting her hand, ‘this is genuinely the most fun I’ve had in … God, I don’t know, ages. Please don’t make me take a break.’

She blinks those owlish eyes at me. ‘You are odd, love,’ she says.

I grin at her and check my phone again: three miraculous bars of signal, though still no text from Ethan. I shake off the thought and get Betsy up on speed dial (not joking: Grandma’s phone actually still has speed dial).

‘Sorry I missed your last call!’ I say into the phone, gesturing leftwards to the men putting up the garlands (Rob and Terry? I think it’s Rob and Terry? Or are they the ones I commandeered to block off traffic to Lower Lane?)

‘Leena. The food stalls. They’re not coming.’

‘What? Why not?’

‘I don’t know!’ Betsy sounds almost tearful.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll sort it.’ I ring off and dig out the number for one of the food stalls. They’re all run by separate people, mostly local to the area; the cheese-toastie guy’s number is the first I find.

‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘Firs Blandon offered us double.’

‘Firs Blandon?’ The village that the Neighbourhood Watch are always bitching about? ‘What for?’

‘They’re doing May Day too, I think. Got a sign up next to yours on the road, directing people their way. Bigger sign than yours, actually,’ cheese-toastie man adds helpfully.

‘Don’t do this,’ I say. ‘I am already on my way to Firs Blandon’ – I’m heading for Agatha at a jog – ‘and I will be getting you all back to Hamleigh-in-Harksdale as agreed, but it’s going to be messy, and I can promise you, it’ll all be a lot nicer if you just come back and fulfil your contractual obligations here in Hamleigh.’

There’s an uncomfortable pause. ‘I didn’t sign anything,’ cheese-toastie man points out.

Feck, feck, feck. No, he didn’t. We just contacted the food stalls that come every year and asked them to do a medieval theme this time, and they all said, Oh, sure, we’ll be there! There might have been a contract once, when May Day was first organised, but God knows where that is.

‘We still have legal rights,’ I say coolly, though I haven’t a clue if that’s true.

‘Right. Well … sorry, Leena. There’s not a lot of money in the cheese-toastie gig, and … Sorry.’ He rings off.

I unlock the car. Penelope appears beside me, her giant eyes wide with worry.

‘There are no food stalls!’ she says, clutching my arm.

‘It’s a disaster !’ roars Basil, approaching at a very slow but purposeful jog. ‘Bloody Firs Blandon! I should have known they’d be up to something!’

‘All right, Leena?’ calls Arnold from over the road, where he’s checking the bulbs in the hanging lanterns.

‘All of you: in,’ I say, pointing to the car.

I chuck the keys at Penelope, who catches them, then looks extremely surprised her reflexes were up to the job.

‘You’re driving,’ I tell her.

‘Oh, but what would Dr Piotr say?’ Basil asks. ‘He said Penelope ought not to—’

Penelope’s eyes twinkle. ‘Bother Dr Piotr,’ she says, opening the driver’s door. ‘This is exciting.’

*

I wouldn’t say I feel safe with Penelope driving. But we certainly make progress.

‘That was a red light,’ Arnold says mildly, as we go sailing past it.

‘It would have been green in a minute,’ Penelope says, foot on the accelerator.

I, meanwhile, am glued to my phone.

‘Who’s in charge at Firs Blandon?’ I ask. ‘Is there a mayor or something?’

‘What? No,’ Arnold says. ‘I suppose there’s probably a chair of the parish council.’

‘There might well be,’ Penelope says shrewdly, ‘but they’re most likely not in charge.’

I glance up from my phone. ‘No?’

‘Eileen’s chair of our Neighbourhood Watch,’ Penelope says, taking a sharp bend at sixty. ‘But we all know Betsy runs things, don’t we?’

‘Whoa, whoa, that was a thirty sign!’

‘Well, I didn’t see it,’ says Penelope.