“Yes, Kadence, he told me it was club business,” I tell her, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Well, I have no idea why he would tell you that. Nix hasn’t warned me at all, and considering all that’s happened, he would have told me, Holly.” I know she’s right. I knew he wasn’t telling the truth. I just don’t understand what he’s up to.

“Well, looks like I was played.”

“Or maybe he is done waiting like he said,” she adds. I don’t reply. I watch as she tries to work her brain to come up with a way to talk about it. “Are you planning on telling him?” she asks over her mug of coffee.

“I’m getting there,” I mumble. I really am. I know I have to tell him, that he deserves to know. I’m just working up to it.

“Well, the sooner the better,” she adds, knowing she can’t push me.

“So, how are the wedding plans going?” I ask, hoping to get off this subject.

“We’re going dress shopping next week, so make yourself available,” she announces, and I fight my need to come up with an excuse not to go. “You know, I’m kind of enjoying this new dynamic to our relationship,” she laughs, watching me work through my need to say no. I know she’s joking. Hell, it is laughable; there’s no denying that. Five months ago, I would have been all over this. Now, I’m fighting my panic at even the thought of going out.

“I didn’t mean that,” she rushes out, reaching for my hand when I don’t laugh at her attempt to joke. I wish I could go back to the way we were before, when she was the one hiding away in our apartment, keeping to herself while I had the carefree attitude.

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” I squeeze her back. She looks at me with heartache, but I can't get drawn into it. I need to move past this and not get stuck again.

“It was a stupid joke,” she whispers, but I won’t let her beat herself up about it.

“I’m getting there,” I confide. “Slowly but surely. Just give me some more time.”

“I love you, Holly. You know that, right?”

“I do and I love you, too,” I reply sincerely. “Now, let’s talk about this bachelorette party. Can we do Vegas?” I force myself to be happy for her. I’m her maid of honor; this is what I need to do. Besides, keeping my mind busy will help me stop thinking about things that need to be forgotten.

“Oh, Nix will not be down with that,” she shakes her head, but her smile tells me she would risk it.

“Okay, leave it with me,” I tell her, knowing I’ll be limited with that man of hers.

“Just, please, whatever you do, do not make me wear something ridiculous.”

“Umm, who are you talking to? I’ll make you look good. Don’t stress,” I say, reaching for my phone when it vibrates. Picking it up, my stomach flutters when I see his name flash on my screen. I hate myself for it, considering I’ve worked so hard to keep him at arms length the last few weeks. But after the party and now dinner, I can’t hide my smile when I see his name on the screen.

Sunshine: Are you busy tonight?

I look at the screen, wondering what alternate universe I’m living in when Sy messages me asking if I’m busy.

Me: No, why?

I quickly type back and place the phone on the table to stop myself from over analyzing my reply. Why did I tell him that?

“So, when do you want to do this? Same weekend as the boys’ bachelor party?” I ask, giving Kadence my attention again.

“No, we’ll have to do separate dates. We have Z,” she says, watching me carefully when my phone beeps again. I pick it up, ignoring her smirk and read his new message.

Sunshine: I’ll be over at 5pm

I check the time and see I have a couple of hours.

“You okay?” Kadence finally gives in and asks.

“Yeah,” I tell her, not sure why I don’t want to fill her in on Sy’s message, or him coming over again. Something in me wants to keep it a secret from everyone around us, even her.

“Who are you messaging?” She raises her brow in suspicion when I don’t fill her in.

“Just Mom. She just sent me something silly.” I somehow come up with a lie and instantly feel like shit. I’m a bad best friend.

“Oh, really? Show me.” She smirks and holds her hand out calling my bluff. Shit.

“You won't think it’s funny,” I mumble, placing my phone in my bag.

“You never know, I might think it’s really awesome.” She shrugs, not fazed with my secrecy. She knows.

“Fine, it wasn’t Mom. Just leave it, okay?” I spill, feeling the pressure of her stare.

“Didn’t think so,” she smirks into her coffee. “Just remember, Holly, I have your back, but the longer you keep it all hidden, the harder the fallout will be,” she warns, and I know she’s right. I just need to tell him when the time is right.

Then again, when is it the right time to tell a man he’s lost a child he didn’t know he had?

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Sy

I knock on her door, trying to juggle the bags in both hands before I drop it all. Fuck. Am I doing the right thing here?

“Hi,” she says, opening the door and looking down at the bags I brought with me. She’s wearing some sweater that normally would not be a turn-on, but with her wearing it, she manages to make it look sexy as fuck.

“Hey,” I respond, walking past her to the kitchen. “I brought dinner.”