“And you don’t know where your mom is?”

“I tried searching for her when Pops died, but couldn't find her,” I explain. My mom didn't want to be found.

“That sucks, Sy. I’m sorry.” She goes back to lying on me.

“Nothing to be sorry about, Holly. I just didn’t have the same experience as you.” I lean forward and kiss the top of her head.

“I wish you did,” she whispers, but I don't reply, because for a while in my life, I did. I slept next to the woman I called my wife for ten years. I planned to grow old with her. Then I found out she wasn't who I thought she was. Far from it.

“Come on, baby. Let’s sleep before I take those sexy pajamas off and do things that I know you’re not ready for,” I tell her, watching her blush.

“I wish I was ready,” she says. As do I, but I know deep down the moment she is, it sure will be worth the wait.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Holly

“The next shot is on me, girls,” Kadence says, throwing back her head and slamming down the amber liquid before hitting the shot glass on the table in front of her. We’re out for Kadence’s bachelorette party; the night after Sy and I made it to third base. Sy made me come with his fingers then we went back to kissing like teenagers and hanging out. He wouldn’t let things progress any further, only saying it wasn’t about that. I don’t know how to take it; I do know the more we spend time with each other, brings me slowly out of the place I’ve been held captive in the last few months. The dull ache that lives in me makes way for something new. With every smile, I surrender a little more of myself and every touch tethers me to him. I knew after the first time we met there was a connection. I just didn’t realize how strong it would be and that it would grow into a friendship of all things. I know we are both in some kind of limbo, not sure where this is all going, and the more time we spend together, the harder it is for me to gather up the courage to tell him about the baby. If I’m not careful, I will end up ruining what we have with my lies.

“No, this night is about you. No paying for drinks,” Kelly says, throwing her drink back and bringing me back to the room.

“Not to mention we know the owner, ladies,” I laugh, looking at her as she sways to the music blaring through Liquid’s speakers.

“Aww, guys. I love you all so much.” Kadence smiles over at us. She looks adorably ridiculous with her cheap veil messed up on her head.

“So, are Nix and the boys going out tonight?” Mia, Kadence’s friend from school, asks, looking out over the crowd below us. Jesse gave us the VIP section of Liquid tonight. It didn't take too much convincing to get him to agree, and surprisingly, he let us bring in some special entertainment. I'm not sure if Nix knows what's happening. Hopefully Jesse kept his word. When I tried to get the club’s okay for a Vegas trip, Nix shut it down. He wasn't comfortable with us being out unprotected since their recent dealings with some major hitters in the drug trade. And fair enough. We came to an agreement to keep it in Rushford and Jesse would let us use Liquid. We've had a great day so far; starting it off with a girls’ day at the spa where both Kadence’s and my mom joined us for facials and lunch. I tried to keep the day about Kadence, but at the mention of Sy’s name, our moms would not leave me alone. I was glad when we parted ways to get ready for dinner and drinks with the girls. I don’t think I would have handled the questioning looks from mom over dinner.

“The bachelor party is next weekend. We have Z to worry about now.” She smiles, looking as happy as ever.

“You didn't tell Nix about the stripper, did you?” I ask, watching her.

“Nooo.” She drags the word out, so I know she is lying.

“You told him,” I accuse, annoyed she didn’t keep it a secret.

“He knows not to bother us,” she says, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Pffft! Nix leave you alone? Jesus, you really are in love,” I laugh at her naïvety.

“What? He will—” She stops to think for a moment. “You’re so right. He is so going to fuck with us tonight,” she huffs, realizing her mistake.

“Don’t worry. I’ll sort him out,” I tell her, not letting her night be ruined by a bunch of sexy bikers.

“I’ve had the best night, Holly. Thank you for putting all this together.”

“The night’s far from over,” I tell her, knowing the best is yet to come.

“You know I love you?” she says with the biggest smile.

“You only like me ‘cause I booked you the hottest stripper I could find,” I tease, trying to keep the tone light. The last thing we need is emotional Kadence coming out.

“No, I love you because you are my best friend and I’m so thankful to have you in my life,” she starts in on her drunken declaration of love.

“How much have you been drinking?” I laugh, feeling guilty that I’m hiding my friendship with Sy from her.

“You love me too, don’t deny it.” I do love her, so I don’t argue.

“Someone call for a stripper?” Jesse’s voice booms from the top of the stairs and he starts moving his hips in perfect rhythm to the music. Damn, the man is sexy. I’ll give him that.

“Go away, Jesse,” Kelly shouts from the back booth. “We don’t want to see it.”

“Just keeping an eye on you crazy girls,” he winks, walking forward to where Kadence and I sit.