“You’re crazy,” I say, kissing her again, not caring if I’m messing with her makeup.

“Sy, we’re late,” she complains when my hand moves up her thigh.

“Don’t give a fuck.” I want to make the woman who loves me, come.

“Sy, no,” she protests half-heartedly. I hold back my laugh at her pathetic attempt to push me away.

“Shhh, it won’t take long,” I promise, letting myself out of my jeans.

“Condom, Sy,” she says as I pull her to the edge of the sink and move her panties aside.

“No, I need you raw, baby,” I make it known as I slide straight into her slick heat. Fuck, whenever she is around me, I feel like I can just get lost in her. I want to live inside of her.

“Sy, no. We aren’t safe,” she pushes back, breaking our connection, but that doesn’t stop me as I try to find my way home again. I know she’s not on the pill, but fuck, having her raw right now outweighs my concern about the consequences.

“I’ll pull out, baby,” I tell her, meaning it. “I just want to feel you come around my cock, give me that connection,” I plead, sinking back into her slick heat. She doesn’t argue, letting me in without a fight and I regret my promise when she hugs me so tightly I don’t know if I can last getting her there.

“Fuck, baby. You feel so fucking good,” I groan, pumping my hips harder into her. Our cries fill the small bathroom, our bodies coming together so perfectly like they always have. “Holly?” I call as I feel her tighten and myself get closer.

“Yeah?” She looks up at me,

“I love you a little bit, too,” I profess, kissing her hard as her body falls over the edge of her orgasm.

I haven’t said those three words to a woman since Katie, and even though Katie gave me something irreplaceable, Holly has given me something I didn’t know I needed: her light. I look at her and I see something more. She makes me forget about the past, the one where I had it all. She takes the constant ache that lives inside of me and turns it into something I don't deserve. And when she looks at me, fuck, when she smiles up at me, everything changes. The old gets lost in the new. Her light shines through my darkness and as I stand here in this moment making love to her against the bathroom counter, I realize my affliction doesn't matter.

She matters.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Holly

“You should have seen him. It was ridiculous,” Kadence laughs, replaying one of their adventures of their time away in Mexico. We’re back at the clubhouse for a welcome home party for Kadence and Nix. They only left three weeks ago, but so much has happened while they’ve been gone it feels like a lifetime ago. Sy and I have grown so much in that time. Knowing what he lives with has really shown me what type of man he is. When I slipped up earlier and told him I loved him, I didn't think he would respond. I didn't mean to let it spill, but once I said it, I couldn't take it back. I wasn't expecting him to say it to me. I know our relationship has been a journey, and unconventional, but having that friendship mixed in just makes it seem so easy.

“He had this poor taxi driver pulling over every few miles to throw up. Poor baby,” Kadence continues to laugh over her new husband’s misfortune of traveling.

“I’m never going there again,” Nix grumbles next to her, unimpressed with everyone laughing at his expense.

“Aww, come on. It can’t be as bad as when Jesse ate that bad seafood in Vegas,” Kelly reminds them.

“That’s right. He couldn’t even ride his bike home. We were stuck there for a few days.” They all laugh at the memory.

“I’m allergic, assholes,” Jesse says, walking out and catching the end of the story.

“You’re not allergic, idiot. It was food poisoning.” Kelly laughs.

“Pretty sure you ended up shitting yourself, too,” Brooks adds, causing everyone to laugh again.

“Whatever,” Jesse says, reaching for his beer, but I can see the small smile he’s fighting.

“Well, what’s been happening while we’ve been away?” Kadence asks once they all calm down.

“Not much,” we all answer around the table.

“Nothing as exciting as a vacation in Cancun,” I say, eager to know more. She looks at me with a knowing smile, telling me we will be talking later. Everyone now officially knows Sy and I are together since I pulled up behind him earlier. He climbed off his bike and stalked to me before planting a kiss on my mouth that told all who were watching, she’s with me. I think everyone seems to have accepted it and moved on, except my best friend.

“Beau has been in a feral mood since you’ve been away. I don’t think he liked his role as acting-Prez,” Jesse comments.

“Where is Beau?” Kadence asks, realizing he hasn’t come in tonight. He's the only one who didn't turn up for the get-together.

“He’s out on club business,” Jesse answers.

“What sort of club business?” Kadence turns to Jesse.

“Club business that’s not your concern, baby,” Nix answers for him, his tone letting her know not to ask. I don’t know what the big secret is about what they are doing. Sy told me without any problem. This is the second time Nix has shut down talk on these pick-ups, evidently not wanting anyone to know.

“Really, Nix? Club business. Last time I checked, I’m a part of this club, too,” she says, and for a moment, I sit shocked at her attitude. Kadence can give it good, but when it comes to club business, she generally keeps tight-lipped, especially in front of everyone.