“Now, I’m not sure if the next bit of news will come as a shock, but your blood work came back positive for pregnancy,” she enlightens us, watching carefully for a response.

“What?” Sy and I say at the same time.

“We’d like to do an ultrasound to determine how far along gestation is and check on the baby of course, considering your fall down the stairs,” she offers, but my mind still can’t get around what she’s saying.

“Are you sure?” I ask, shock running through me. I knew it was always a possibility that I would fall pregnant again when we weren’t using protection, but hearing it still comes as a shock.

“We’d like to confirm with an ultrasound, but by the HCG levels, then yes, I’m sure.”

“Do you think the baby has been hurt from the fall?” Sy asks the question that I don’t want to think about.

“Oh, God.” I begin to freak out. What if something has happened? I can’t handle more loss. Not again.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We will get you in for a scan and then we can see what is going on in there,” she tries to reassure us, but my panic rises as I think back to the last hospital visit I had.

“Holly, it’s going to be fine.” Sy comes to me, taking my hand in his.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” I rush out, hoping he doesn’t lose it. Not sure why he would, but my heart and my mind are somewhat unstable at this moment, making it hard to connect with reality.

“Nothing to be sorry about, baby.” He kisses me again.

“Okay, let's get this gown up so we can see what’s happening,” she says as the nurse wheels in a machine, ready to start.

“Now? Here?” Sy asks, watching them get the ultrasound machine going.

“Yes, it's very easy and simple these days,” she smiles, coming to stand next to us. “Now, Holly, when was your last menstrual cycle?”

“Umm…” I try to count in my head when the last time I had a period was but can’t think of one. “I’m not sure. I’ve been all over the place the last few months.” The doctor nods, picking up the wand and smearing gel all over it.

“Okay, let’s see if we can pick anything up this way first, and if not, we’ll do an internal.” She moves to my belly. Lifting up my hospital gown, she squirts the cold gel onto my stomach. This all seems so surreal that we are here right now. I know we’ve been having unprotected sex, so it shouldn’t come as a shock. I just didn’t think we would find out like this. She moves the small rounded wand around on my belly and starts flicking buttons on the machine, letting it light up with a picture. I struggle to see the dark screen, but then she presses a button and the room fills with the soft sound of a beating heart.

“That’s the baby’s—”

“Heartbeat,” I finish for her. She smiles down at me. “Looks like you’re about nine weeks along and everything looks fine,” she confirms, chasing my fear away.

“Are you sure?”

“We will monitor you for the next twenty-four hours, but everything looks good.” She grabs a tissue to wipe away the sticky gel.

“I’m going to be a mom,” I whisper, watching the screen and seeing the small image of our child. A healthy child. I look up at Sy, afraid this is going to ruin whatever it is we have, but instead of fear or rejection, I’m met with a look of pure joy.

“You’re going to be a daddy,” I announce through happy tears.

“Marry me?” he asks as a way of replying to the news.

“W-what?” I stammer, looking between Sy and the smiling doctor.

“You heard me. Marry me.” He looks down at me, his expression full of hope and excitement.

“Yes,” I rush out, not needing to give it a second thought. “Yes,” I cry as he kisses me.

“Yes?” he asks again, obviously unsure he heard me correctly.

“Yeah, Sunshine. I’ll marry you.” I kiss him fiercely this time, knowing I wouldn’t want it any other way.

“I love you, baby,” he whispers softly.

“I love you, too,” I reply, resting my hand over my belly.

“I promise you, Holly, I’m going to be the best dad there is,” he assures me, covering my hand with his.

“I know you will, Sy,” I agree, and he will. From just listening to the way he speaks about Keira, I know what sort of father he will be.

“I’m going to be a mom.” I smile again at the unexpected news.

“We’re going to be a family,” he states, filling me with hope. Our journey has come full circle. There have been moments filling me with despair and heartbreak. Some days, I thought I could never move past it, but then a small moment of hope appears. It’s so magical, so life-affirming that it makes it all worthwhile.

This is one of those moments.

***

“Thank God, you’re okay,” Kadence says, sitting on the end of my bed at the hospital. She came in five minutes ago, and Sy still hasn’t let go of my hand to let me embrace her. I understand he’s worried about me, but I’m beginning to wonder if he’s going to be worse than Nix.

“I’m fine. Promise,” I reassure her, trying not to come across too excited. After the doctor left us with the news, I decided I wanted to keep the pregnancy under wraps for a couple more weeks; just until I’m out of the first trimester. Sy didn’t agree, but is going along with it. I’m sure he thinks I’m going to cave and let it slip, but I need to let it settle in before I share the news with anyone.