J.J. began to suck on my breast and I didn’t feel like giggling anymore. Jade leaned over me, her breasts brushing my face as she bent over my other breast and licked over my nipple. I mounded her breast in my hand and returned the favor. Her body shivered for me, and then she used her hand to draw my breast up, so she could suck on my nipple, and all three of us began to suck, lick, and nibble a breast apiece. We had three leftover breasts and more mouths in the room. I would have loved to bring Jason and Domino onto the bed to join the breast play, and the thought of Nathaniel only being able to watch it all tightened things low in my body, not because I wanted to exclude him, but because I knew how much it would excite him to be forced to only watch with his body so eager to join. But what works in fantasy doesn’t always work in reality; if you add too many people it can go from erotic and exciting to a game of Jenga. Adding the boys, even if both women would have agreed, might have been too much, like Internet porn: sex that no one really enjoys, but it looks impressive, and gives you bragging rights of I’m kinkier than thou.

I bit a little harder on Jade’s breast, and she startled. The reaction let me know it was too hard for her. I was beginning to suspect that I’d bite breasts harder if I could find a woman who enjoyed it.

J.J. raised her mouth up enough to ask, “Do you like breast play as hard as you like other things?”

I had to let go of Jade’s breast to answer, “Yes.”

J.J. looked back at Jason. “How hard can I bite?”

He answered still holding on to the bedpost. His voice sounded much calmer than the look in his eyes. “Bite down with slowly increasing pressure; Anita will let you know when you’ve reached her limit.”

J.J. turned back to me with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Yes,” Domino answered, from the edge of the bed where he had wrapped his arms around himself, as if he were holding himself back from the bed with his own physical force.

A shiver of power made me look at Nathaniel, who was only a couple of feet from us. His eyes had bled to the rich gray-blue of his leopard’s eyes. He was the only blue-eyed leopard I’d ever seen, as if even in animal form his eyes had to be unusual.

J.J. used her hand to mound my breast up so that she could slide her mouth over it, and then she began to bite down slowly, so that it was just pressure.

“Harder,” I said.

She rolled her eyes up, and they were uncertain, but she put more pressure, and after two more times of me saying, “Harder,” she was in the ballpark for how hard I wanted it in that moment. Some nights I didn’t want to be bitten, but tonight was not one of those nights.

I breathed out, “Harder!”

Her eyes rolled up to me and finally held that darkness I had never seen in another woman, like the eyes of a lioness looking over the body of a gazelle, and she bit me. It bowed my spine, threw me writhing over the bedspread, hands grabbing at the bedspread for something, anything, to hold on to. I found Jade’s hand, but she pulled away so that I was left with the bedcovers wrapped in my hands while J.J.’s mouth rode my breast.

I cried out for her, and finally said, “Safeword, safeword, stop, stop!”

She rose up from my breast and left a red ring of her teeth imprinted on my right breast. She hadn’t bled me, but it was a nice mark.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked, voice breathy and a little thick.

“No,” I said, and laughed, “no.”

She moved up so she was even with me, and studied my face for a moment, and then she smiled. “That was fun.”

“Yes, yes it was,” I said, and my voice was breathless and happy.

Some small sound made me turn my head. Domino had moved farther away from the bed; Nathaniel had his eyes closed, body straining against the ropes, as he fought for his own control. It was Jade kneeling in the pillows at the head of the bed, tears shining on her face.

I sighed, and lay there for a second, not wanting to go to her, because there had been other times with Domino, or Nathaniel, where I’d gotten some of the rougher foreplay that I liked, and Jade had freaked. She had so many triggers that reminded her of her abusive ex-master, and most of those triggers tended to be sex that I enjoyed.

J.J. looked down at me, and I didn’t try to hide the look in my eyes. “Sorry,” I said.

“It’s okay, not your fault.”

“No,” I said, “it isn’t.” I got up so I could go and comfort the other woman in the bed, but honestly, I didn’t want to. It wasn’t that I was unsympathetic. It was that I’d been sympathetic for months and months. She wouldn’t go to therapy unless I went with her, and I’d told her, no, therapy was an inner journey and had to be walked alone, and besides, you weren’t honest if other people were in the room. I’d finally found a therapist who specialized in domestic abuse survivors, and I’d gone with her, but she had made it all about how we weren’t getting along, so it turned into couples counseling. I’d tried to bring up the abuse she’d suffered from her ex-master, and all Jade had wanted to talk about was how to make her and me a better, more workable couple. I finally told the counselor that since I was already engaged to three men, I didn’t really see how a girlfriend who didn’t like men that much was going to fit into my life. It’s not often you see a really good psychiatrist stumped, but she didn’t have a comeback for that.

Jade had cried and tried to get me to go back to the counselor with her, but I had stood firm, so since I wouldn’t go and hold her hand, she wouldn’t see the counselor. Jade wasn’t ready to deal with her past. She was so broken, but that wasn’t the problem; Nathaniel had been broken when I met him. The difference was that Nathaniel had been willing to work his shit, to try to get better, but Jade wouldn’t help herself get better. She just wanted to cling to me, and to Domino to a much lesser extent, and be afraid. If I’d been in love with her I’d have been more patient, but I so wasn’t in love with her, as I crawled over the bed to dry her tears. I fought to keep my feelings off my face.