“Sure. Kiss away.”

Her eyes light up, and my heart does this stupid dance in my chest. I should get up, walk away. Go down to the bar where I’m supposed to be. But I think about the words she wrote on the few pieces of paper I read. How they described me. How she can sign. How comfortable I’ve felt all damn night.

And I can’t bring myself to move as she leans in.

Chapter 7

My Mind is Boggled

Emery

In all my eighteen years, I’ve never really had a clear mind. There was always confusion, sometimes voices or a general haziness. Tonight¸ my head’s foggier than a lake on a dreary day, though.

I can’t think straight at all.

And I kind of don’t want to.

This is why I left Ralingford, isn’t it? To taste freedom, to experience life.

Right now, that freedom and experience is on Ryler’s lips. As mortified as I was the first time I kissed him, I crave to do it again. I crave the feeling of his lips and the nip of his lip ring biting into my lip.

I eagerly lean forward to do just that as his gaze drops to my mouth, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. In the back of my foggy mind, I hear a buzz of whispers, but they are silenced when I brush my lips to his.

Holy hell. He feels as amazing as the first time, maybe even more if it’s possible to up amazingness in one minute. He instantly raises his hand and cups my cheek as his lips part, waiting for me to slip my tongue inside his mouth.

He’s letting me control this because of what I said.

A faint smile touches my lips at the thought. Evan used to force his tongue inside my mouth every single time we kissed. He’d tell me what to do and how to do it, never letting me take the lead.

I tentatively slide my tongue inside Ryler’s mouth. The tip grazes metal, and I gasp at the feel of the piercing. My hands move forward and grasp onto his shirt, seeking something to hold onto. I feel like I’m tumbling far into a dangerous abyss, feeding him my secrets through my kiss. But if that were true, if he really knew who I was, he wouldn’t be here with me.

Fearful and guilty, I start to pull away, but his hand glides from my cheek to the back of my head. He presses me closer, tangling his tongue with mine. Warmth spreads across my flesh, suffocates my lungs, and my heart rate quickens. I feel like I’m hyperventilating. I should worry about blacking out, about panicking, but then he shifts toward me, rolls me onto my back, and covers my body with his. Every single thought in my head dissipates as he pins my head between his arms and my body below his. I can’t form a single coherent thought. I’ve been completely and stupidly struck senseless by a simple kiss.

And then I do something entirely out of character.

I let out an untamed moan.

I’ve never moaned.

Ever.

Ryler seems to like the noise, though. He moans too and then bites at my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. I gasp and roll my hips against his, feeling so warm and out of breath, so helpless and out of control, so reckless. I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him deeply. He gasps against my mouth and rocks his hips against mine, leaning back to watch me as if testing my reaction. I lift my head, needing to taste his lips again. He instantly slips his tongue into my mouth as his hand roams over the curve of my breast.

Our bodies begin to fall into a rhythm, grinding against each other to the beat of the song. The more the friction builds, the hotter I get until I’m on the verge of exploding. I link my arms around his neck and pull him closer as the heat becomes so blinding I get lost in my surroundings. All I can feel is his body. All I can smell is the scent of his cologne and cigarettes. All I can taste is him. All I can hear is the soundlessness. I’m not sure what’s happening nor do I care because, moments later, I drift from reality as something combusts inside me. I cry out for the first time ever. It’s only when I’m returning to reality that I realize what happened. I just had my first orgasm.

As the heat of the moment starts to settle down, the reality of what I’ve done crashes over me. I had my first hook up with a guy my parents would never in a million years approve of. If my mother knew I hooked up with the guy downstairs, she’d do more than beat me. I should have just run away.

I’m trying not to panic as Ryler pushes back to look me in the eyes. As he strokes my cheek with his finger, I find myself wondering what I should say to him. Thank you? I should go? With Evan, this would be the point where he’d get up and tell me he had to go to work. He was always working, all the time, with his father and mine. I still have no clue what he actually did for them.

Ryler finally sits up, leaving my body cold.

“I know you probably don’t want me to say this,” his hands move in front of him. “But you look really beautiful when you’re like that.”

I offer him a dazed smile as I sit up then smooth my hands over my hair. “Thanks.”

“Thanks for the compliment or the orgasm?” He smiles to let me know he’s joking, but I still blush like crazy. He extends his hand forward and strokes my cheekbone again, studying me in fascination. Then he sighs as he signs, “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I have to take off for work.”

“It’s okay.” I check the clock on the stereo. “I should probably get home anyway. It’s getting late.”

He nods, his gaze still fixed on me. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

I shrug. “Not much. I don’t really have a life as of now. This is actually the first time I’ve done anything fun.”