All the fear I had been battling suddenly explodes and smothers me.

Chapter 14

Lyric

For once, I can’t think of a single word to say. Can’t smile. Can’t breathe.

Everything had been so perfect for about five minutes. That kiss and those touches were the kind that artists crave, like a drug addiction. The moment was perfect, and a song was already forming in my head.

Then the cop car had pulled up to the house and everything went to shit.

I followed Ayden over to his house when he jumped out of the car. Then I sat in the living room with Lila, Ethan, and Ayden while the police started talking. My mom and dad quickly took Kale, Everson, and Fiona out of the house when they realized what the conversation was about.

They found Ayden’s brother. Not just found, but discovered his body in a ditch not too far away from their childhood home. And from what it sounds like, he might have been murdered. There is an ongoing investigation, and while they didn’t flat out say it¸ I got the impression that his brother’s death might have had something to do with whatever happened to them a few years ago, that there were some marks on his body that led them to believe this, along with some other evidence they wouldn’t divulge.

“If you can think of anything at all,” the taller of the two officers says, directing his question to Ayden as he hands a card to Lila. “I know in the initial investigation you told the detective that you couldn’t remember anything, but if you do, please call us.”

“Of course,” Lila replies, tucking the card in her pocket, struggling to keep it together.

“And you might want to be a bit more cautious over the next few weeks while we gather more evidence,” he tells Lila as she walks them to the door. “It’s just a precautionary measure, but it’s better to be safe.”

I try to catch Ayden’s eye as Lila finishes chatting with the officers, but he won’t look at me. Won’t look at anything, except the scars on his hands.

Lila is sobbing by the time she returns to the living room. Ethan looks like he’s about to throw up. And I feel as sick as Ethan looks.

“I’m going to go do my homework.” Ayden abruptly stands up from the sofa and walks out of the room at a normal pace with a relaxed expression.

So normal.

Like nothing’s wrong.

Lila’s shoulders shake as she reaches for a tissue on the table, her eyes filled with tears, and her makeup running everywhere. “Oh my God, this is so horrible. I need to go check on him.” She starts to get up, but Ethan drapes an arm around her and pulls her back down. “Let Lyric do it, okay? You need to calm down before you talk to him.” He looks at me for help.

I nod, getting to my feet. “Of course.” I leave the living room and start up the stairs, but pause when I hear the two of them whispering.

“We knew this was a possibility when we took him in,” Ethan says in a gentle tone. “We knew that those people were never caught, and that something might happen one day.”

“But I never expected it to happen like this.” Lila sniffles. “And did you see the look on his face. It was the same look he had when we picked him up that first day. God, what if he goes back to barely speaking.” Tears flood her voice. “I just want him to be happy.”

So do I. More than I want my own happiness.

I rush up the stairs and pause in front of Ayden’s shut bedroom door, hesitating before I knock.

“Come in.” His voice sounds so hollow that I almost start crying as hard as Lila. Instead, I collect myself and push the door open.

“Hey,” I say as I tentatively enter.

He’s lying on his stomach on the bed with a math textbook opened in front of him, doing his homework just like he said, as music thrums from the speakers of the stereo. He’s grasping something in one of his hands.

He finishes writing out the problem before he glances up at me. “Did you need something?” he asks, the life in his grey eyes dead.

I press my lips together. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

He shrugs, returning to his paper. “I’m fine. It’s not like I didn’t expect that to happen.”

“You expected your brother to die?” I question as I close the door. “Why?”

He shrugs again, continuing to move the pencil across the paper. “I don’t know. I just thought it could be a possibility after I found out he disappeared. I honestly am surprised any of us are alive, so …”

I should just walk out. Give him time. The space he seems to want. But I can’t leave him. So I sit down on the bed, highly aware when his grip on the pencil constricts.

“Ayden, talk to me.” I suck in a breath before I dare place a hand on his back.

He goes as rigid as a board. “I don’t know what to say.” His voice cracks, and then he starts to cry, tears spilling out as he hunches over, hiding his face from me. “I don’t think I can do this again.” His hands free the object he was clutching, and a few tears slip from my eyes. It’s a photo of him when he was younger, along with a young teenage boy and a girl. Probably his brother and sister.

All those years I spent wanting to experience life to the fullest, feel love and heartbreak, and now I feel so grateful that I haven’t. Haven’t been through what he has.

“Yes, you can.” I rub his back as each of his sobs ruptures my heart. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need. I got your back.”