“What the f**k are you doing in here?” My knuckles whiten as I grasp the steering wheel. “And how did you get into my car? The doors were locked.”

He rises up from the back seat and leans over the console to snatch up my phone. “I think you know me well enough to know locked doors aren’t going to stop me.”

“If that’s true, then why are you just getting to me now? Was it to torture me?”

He rests his heavily tattooed arms on the console, close enough that I can smell the booze flowing off him. “That was part of the reason. I was also being careful.” He reaches for a strand of my hair, and I lean my head to the side. “I didn’t want to give the cops a reason to put me in jail again.”

“You’re breaking your restraining order right now,” I remind him, “which means jail time.”

He waves me off, sitting back in the seat and fiddling around with my phone. “They’ll never catch me. Besides, even if they did, I’d get out in a few months and be right back in your life.” A dark look crosses his face as he reads something on the screen. “So this is what you’ve been up to… you dirty, little skank.”

What the hell is he looking at?

I desperately want to reach back and snatch my phone away but know it will only make things worse, so I clutch onto the wheel. “I don’t want you in my life anymore, Conner. I just want you to leave me alone. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, so give me my phone back and get the hell out of my car.”

“All you’ve ever wanted.” He leans forward, getting in my face, his breath burning my cheeks. “What about what I wanted? Like a life not tied down to a family. Or a wife who doesn’t nag.” He punches the seat beside my head and I flinch, my hands starting to tremble. “All that time I spent with you and for what? To end up in jail.”

“You did it to yourself,” I say. “You chose to deal drugs and to… well, make me pay back your debt that day.”

“I would have never been caught if you hadn’t set the place on fire!” he screams in my ear. “Only a psychopath does that!”

My eardrums are ringing, fear slams through my pulse, and I’m gasping so hard my vision is spotting. I should pull over the car, but I’m worried of what he’ll do to me if I stop driving.

“Only a psychopath whores out their wife and lets her get raped while he watches,” I bite back venomously. It’s the first time I’ve ever gotten a chance to yell at him for what happened, and it feels good. Way f**king good. “Do you know how f**ked up that was?”

“You didn’t do anything to stop it,” he growls. “You just laid there and took it like the whore you are.”

I slam on the brakes and the car lurches forward, sending him flying over the console toward the window, but he sticks his arm out and catches himself at the last second.

“You f**king cunt!” he screams as he falls into the passenger seat. “I’m going to make you pay for that so much that you’ll regret the day you met me!”

“I regret that already!” I shout, gasping for air, terrified and enraged out of my mind. “For years now, I’ve wished I could go back and never agree to go out with you!”

“Well, sucks to be you since you can’t erase your past.” He smirks at me as he opens the door and gets out.

I’d be relieved, but I know him well enough to know it’s not over.

He holds up my phone and sneers. “Payback’s a bitch.” Then he slams the door and strides toward the back of the Jeep.

I wait for him to round it and come at me from the driver’s side, but he continues to head down the road toward the highway. I think about going after him, know that whatever reason he has my phone can’t be good, but what would I do when I caught him? Regardless of me moving on, in the end, he’s still stronger than me and can hurt me if he wants to. No matter what I do—whether I move on, find someone else, or fall in love—he will always be there, never allowing me to let fully go of my past, no matter how much I want to.

Huffing in frustration, I punch the gas and drive forward, ready to get home. But Conner’s words echo in my mind.

Payback’s a bitch.

What did he mean by that? What could he possibly pay me back with on that phone? I think about what I have on there. Nothing incriminating. Just contacts and texts…

Something else Conner says flashes through my mind.

So this is what you’ve been up to, you dirty little skank.

Tristan and I have been texting each other off and on, and while our conversations haven’t been dirty, they’ve been flirty enough that it could be clear something’s going on between us. Conner might not have Tristan’s address, but it’s a small town. I’m sure he won’t have trouble tracking him down.

What should I do? Call Tristan? I don’t know his number other than he’s contact number ten on my log. I could wait, but I’m worried it’ll be too late by then. I could go home and call the police, but what would I say? My ex-husband stole my phone? It would be about as helpful as the restraining order.

Without any hesitation, I make a decision and turn the car around, heading away from my home and to Tristan.
Chapter 39

It’s time for this to end.

Tristan

After I get back to the motel, I spend the next couple of hours standing outside and smoking while watching the sun clip the sky as I reflect on what happened. Avery and I had sex. I had sex for the first time simply because I wanted to. I wasn’t high, wasn’t searching for anything. I only wanted Avery.

And she wanted me back.

That thought puts a smile on my face as I turn to go inside. The sky is greying with morning. I’ll probably get an hour of sleep before I have to get up again, but I don’t care. It was worth it.

I’m reaching for the doorknob when my phone vibrates from inside my pocket. I fish it out, a smile touching my lips when I see the message is from Avery. But my elation plummets when I read the text.

Avery: So what’s it like sleeping with my wife?

My hand falls from the doorknob. “What the f**k?”

Panic sets in. Conner. The message is from Conner. What the f**k do I do?

Call the police.

“I’m going to f**king kill him if he touched her.” I switch to the dialing pad to make a call when I hear someone laugh from beside me. I look to my right and my grip tightens on the phone.

“Easy there,” Conner says as he leans against the side of the motel with a phone in his hand. “No need to go killing anyone over a girl.”

“What did you do to her?” I inch toward him with my jaw clenched. “If you touched her, I swear—”

“If I touched her?” he snaps, striding toward me. “I have every right to touch her. She’s my wife.”

“Ex-wife,” I remind him as he slams to a stop in front of me. I don’t cower back, even when he leans toward my face. I remember the first time we got into a fight like this, only it was because I stepped in front of Avery. Now it’s me he wants, and now it’s me he’ll get. Only this time, he’s not going to get the better of me. This time, I’m not some druggie craving a bag of meth more than my feelings for Avery. I’m stronger, both mentally and physically, and I have a clear head. A really, really clear head that lets me remember what he did to Avery and allows me to feel just how badly I want to make him pay for what he did.

For her.

“She may be my ex-wife,” he breathes in my face, “but you have no right to touch her.”

“No, you have no right to touch her.” I lean in closer, my fists balled, my muscles wound tight. “I know what you f**king did to her, you piece of shit, and you’re going to pay for everything you did to her.”

He lets out a growl and raises his fists, but he stops when the door to the side of us swings open. Zedd stumbles out, blinking his bloodshot eyes. He takes one look at us then a smirk spreads across his face

“Oh, good, I see you’ve met Skullman,” he sneers at me as he starts to shake with excitement, jacked up on something.

“You have got to be f**king kidding me,” I mutter, looking back at Conner. “You’re the dumbass that calls himself Skullman?”

“And you’re the f**king ass**le who owes me five hundred bucks.” A slow grin twists at his lips, utterly pleased by this bit of news as he spans his arms out to the side and laughs, giving me a good view of fresh track marks on his skin. “Beating you up just got a whole lot better.”

Zedd snickers. “Told you you’d pay. And now Skullman is going to kick your ass for the money you owe him for the drugs you stole from me,” he says to me then steps back into his room and slams the door.

Fucking crackheads.

Good God, how could I be like that for so long?

Before I can answer my own question, Conner cranes his arm back and takes a swing at me. I easily duck out of the way then skitter around him.

“Fucking coward,” he growls and then runs at me.

His head collides into my chest and knocks the wind out of me, but I recover and manage to stay on my feet. Then I shove Conner back, and he slams against the wall. Jesus, I didn’t think I had that much strength. Then again, the last time I got into a fight, I was as scrawny and drugged out as Zedd.

I have little time to react though, as Conner charges back at me, his fist colliding with my jaw. Pain erupts up my cheek and into my eye, causing my vision to spot. I blast through the pain and swing my fist at his face. Blood splatters from his mouth as my knuckles bash into his cheek. I step back, watching the blood dribble from his chin as he collapses to the ground.

“Now you’re going to leave Avery the f**k alone,” I say, looking down at Conner as he lies on his back and fights to catch his breath. “She doesn’t want you anymore.”

He glances up at me with blood streaming down his chin then starts to laugh. “You think this is over? This is just the beginning. That woman has made my life a living hell. I went to jail for two years because of her.” He rolls over and staggers to his feet. Then, hunched over, he scuffs across the parking lot toward the side of the motel, wiping the blood from his chin.

I stride after him as I dial the police, worried he’s going to go after Avery. “I need to report a fight…” I trail off as I round the corner of the building.

Because Conner comes at me with a knife, and I have zero time to react as it sinks into my side.

“You f**king ass**le.” I press my hand to my side, feeling the warmth of blood drip down my fingers.

The God damn motherfucker smiles.

And something snaps inside me.

I think about all the times he hurt Avery.

All the pain he caused her.

All the times he made her bleed.

How he almost killed her.

Scared her.

And how he can’t seem to let her go.

To free her from his abuse.

Continuously causing her pain.

Beating her down.

Slowly killing her.

It’s time for this to end.

Battling through the pain, I crane my arm back and ram my fist into his face. Caught off guard, he drops the knife and trips back. I keep going at him, throwing punch after punch until my arm and fingers ache, until the pain in my side is gone, until Conner falls onto the ground unconscious, still breathing, but beaten up pretty badly.

I think about going further yet realize that, even with all the bad stuff I’ve done in my past, I’m not that kind of person. So instead, I stumble over to his car and find what I’m looking for in the glove box. Then, with every ounce of strength I have left in me, I grab Conner’s arms and drag him over to the car and hoist him into the driver’s seat.

Staggering back to my phone, I call the police again and tell the operator the address of where they can find a major drug dealer. Then I hang up and brace my hand on the wall as I drag my feet and make my way around the motel and back to my room. I manage to bang on the door one time before I crumple to the ground, staining the cement with my blood as I stare up at the sky. I’m not afraid of dying like I was last time. No, this time feels different—I feel different.

Because this time my soul isn’t dead.

It’s alive.

And full.

Of love.

Chapter 40

I’m wrecked.

Avery

“I’m going to lose my shit if we don’t get an update,” I mutter, biting on my nails as I pace the length of the quiet waiting room. It’s been hours since I pulled up to the motel and saw the ambulance driving away. Hours since I’ve seen Tristan. Hours since I’ve kissed him. And now I’m not sure I’ll ever get to kiss him again. He’s been back in surgery for a while, and I feel like I’m losing my mind.

“Avery, calm down.” Nova rises from the chair and touches my arm, stopping me. Quinton is with us, too, but he went to get coffee, and Jax is on his way with Mason. He headed here on the bus despite my protests, more out of worry for me than anything. “Don’t get too worked up until we find out what’s going on.”

“I can’t calm down,” I tell her with a sigh, flinching when I get a whiff of that stale hospital scent. “I f**king hate hospitals… too much has happened here.”

“I hate them, too,” she divulges, slumping down in a chair. “Ever since I lost my father.”

“I’m so sorry.” I sink into a chair beside her. “I didn’t know he died.”

“No one really knows about it, but being here… It kind of reminds me of the day my mom and I had to go to the hospital because he had a heart attack.”