When I'm Gone Page 20

The Carters’ house was different in many ways. That was one of them. It was also my favorite because I got to watch a happy, normal family. It wasn’t something I had seen before. The way Harlow adored her daughter made me smile, but there was always a pang in my chest for what I didn’t have. For what my mother chose never to give me. Love.

Grant Carter was breathtaking when he held his daughter. Or even when he saw her from across a room. His entire face was full of love and complete devotion. There was no question in anyone’s mind that he would protect his little girl at all costs. I had caught myself wondering more than once if my real father would have been that way. Did he even know about me?

I shook off the thought again and focused on the Carters. I wouldn’t think about my family or my past. It would only lead me to a depressed state. I worked hard not to spend time dwelling on those things.

This house was a home. It was a happy, safe place. Even though it was one of the smaller houses I cleaned, it was still the one I looked forward to every week.

Harlow placed a glass of milk and a plate with two big chocolate chip cookies in front of me. “Here you go,” she said, and placed the same thing in front of the seat across from me. “I’ll try to sneak a little before Lila Kate remembers it’s time to eat. Her bottle will be ready in a few minutes anyway. It needs to warm up.” She sat down.

“These smell delicious,” I told her, hoping that was a good excuse for devouring them. I was even hungrier than I’d thought, and the smell was going to make it hard to take little, delicate bites.

“They should be. It’s my grandmother’s recipe. She made the best cookies,” Harlow replied. “Grant loves them.”

As I’d predicted, I ended up eating the first one in three bites. Harlow was grinning as she watched me. She was also chewing away happily, so that made it less embarrassing. But these cookies were seriously yummy.

“Have you spoken with my brother since he went back to Texas?” Harlow asked, surprising me.

I nodded, wondering if I should give her more information. Did Mase want her knowing that he and I were talking? She might think it was about something else and get the wrong idea. I felt comfortable with Harlow, but telling her that I had dyslexia was another thing. How would I explain how I had made it this far not being able to read and write without getting into the other details of my past?

“He seems . . . concerned about you. Mase is the protective sort, but I can’t remember him being quite so concerned about someone who wasn’t family. Until you.” A smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

Oh, no. She was getting the wrong idea. If I didn’t explain this to her, she would say something to Mase, and I didn’t want that. He had been so helpful, and I owed him this. Besides, it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. Astor had told me that several times. He’d even had me repeat after him, “I am not less than. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am a smart, capable person.”

Remembering those words, I put the second cookie back on the little china plate. I met Harlow’s curious gaze. “I call Mase after my lessons with Dr. Munroe.” I paused for a beat. “I . . . I have dyslexia, and until Mase found Dr. Munroe, I didn’t know why I couldn’t read and write. Words are so difficult for me. Your brother took the first step and found a specialist who pointed me in the right direction. He’s just helping me because he’s a good man.”

Harlow’s gaze stayed on me for several seconds, and I had to drop my eyes to the cookie waiting before me. I didn’t want her to read what I couldn’t hide on my face.

Mase

“It’s a woman,” Major said, as he opened my fridge and grabbed a beer. “I know the signs. You can try to shit me with whatever hogwash you wanna spew, but I’ve been there, dude.”

Major was becoming a pain in my ass. He was my stepfather’s nephew, and I’d been raised with him as my cousin. Although we weren’t related by blood, it didn’t seem to matter. I had needed his help today with the horses, but I was ready for him to leave now. Reese would be calling soon. And Major was the last person I wanted here when she called.

“We’re done for the day. Take the beer and go home. I’m getting a shower, then hitting the sack. I’m beat.” I walked past the kitchen and toward my bedroom.

“Right there. That is. Bull. Shit,” he called after me. “Woman bullshit. Seen it. Know it.”

I hated how close he was to the truth. Reese was on my mind most of the day, every damn day. I looked forward to her calls way more than I should. But damn, her voice made me smile. Hearing how excited she was over her progress also got to me. “Leave,” I fired back, and slammed the bedroom door behind me.

I had started pulling off my boots when my cousin decided to bang on my door. “Who is it? Can’t be Cordelia. You’d have done more than tap that ass years ago if you wanted her. She’s more than available. Wait . . . Rosemary Beach. You met someone there, didn’t you? Rich babe? Got cash? Got a sister? No, wait, I don’t want her sister. I still want a go at your hot single sister.”

God, could he be any more annoying? “Go on, Major. I’m not giving you anything. There is no woman. Leave and let me shower in peace. Fucking pest.”

Major’s laughter filtered through the door. “Thou doth protest too much.” He slapped the door one more time. “Fine. Be like that. But you’ll admit it soon enough. Or I’ll figure this shit out.”