I knew what it was like to be loved by you. My life may have been cut short, but in that life, I had the love of a man who made me feel special and cherished. I knew the joy of feeling his baby move inside of me. I was able to watch his face while he felt our little girl kick me and the moment he heard her heart beat the first time. The look on your face was one of those moments all women deserve. I got something that people spend their lives looking for. I couldn’t have asked for more. You made every day new and exciting. Being with you made me feel safe and loved. Giving you the gift of our little girl was something I got to do.

Not having her was something I never considered. I couldn’t. I loved her the moment I knew I was pregnant. She was us. And now that you can hold her and see her, you understand. How could I give her up to save myself?

You gave me the moments in life that are worth living for. You made my life this bright, shining, wonderful world. Thank you for that. Thank you for everything. I love you, Grant Carter. Every time you look into our daughter’s face, know that I love you both.

There are more letters. The ones I haven’t tied up yet are letters I wrote about our experience during my pregnancy, and they are all to Lila Kate. It tells her everything I was feeling, and I want you to read them to her when she’s old enough to understand.

Then there’s a stack of letters tied in a pink ribbon. Each is labeled. They’re for specific events and moments in Lila Kate’s life. She won’t have me there, but she will have my love and my words.

The stack with a red ribbon is for you. They’re also labeled. You’ll know when you’re supposed to open each one. Don’t read them now. Give it time. Wait and read them when each letter is meant to be opened. It will be what you need to hear at that moment in time.

You were my world. You were my one and only. I left you, but I left another love behind. Never let a day go by that Lila Kate doesn’t know how much you love her. Love her for me, too.

Forever and always,

Harlow

Grant

She had prepared letters in case she didn’t make it. I leaned against the wall of an empty hallway in the hospital. My face was wet with tears, and I didn’t give a shit. Each tear fell because I wasn’t reading this for the reason she thought I’d be. She hadn’t left us. She was here fighting hard to stay with us. When her heart had stopped, she hadn’t let go.

She was my fighter. My beautiful, wonderful fighter.

I folded the letter and pressed a kiss to the paper, knowing she had held it not too long ago, then I tucked it into my pocket. I was going to tell her I didn’t accept this. Because she was still here. She was still holding on, and it was time she opened those pretty hazel eyes and looked at me.

I wiped my face and headed for the ICU.

Once I got there, I saw Mase leaning against her door, his head hanging until his chin touched his chest. His shoulders were sagging, and he looked defeated. He needed to take his ass back to the waiting room if he was going to mope. She was going to wake up soon. He didn’t need to act like she was gone. She wasn’t gone.

I wasn’t letting her go.

His head lifted when I stopped in front of him. He looked strangely hopeful.

Had something happened? Why was he outside her door instead of in the room with her?

“What are you doing out here?” I asked, not liking the idea of her being in there alone.

“She opened her eyes and said your name through the tube in her throat, then closed her eyes again.”

His words took a moment to sink in. Then I shoved him out of my way and jerked the door open to see two nurses and a doctor standing over her. The feeding tube in her throat was gone, and so were several of the wires, but her eyes weren’t open.

“Well, hello, Mr. Carter,” the doctor said.

“She opened her eyes?” I asked, needing them to confirm.

“That’s what Mr. Manning, the younger one, said. According to her chart, it looks like there’s been some action. We took out the feeding tube because he said she tried to talk with it. Even said your name. Now we wait. If she’s coming out of it, she’s exhausted, and her body will only be able to stay awake for small amounts of time. But with the proper care, I believe Harlow is going to watch her little girl grow up. If we’re lucky.”

My knees buckled, and I had to grab the edge of the bed. The sob that broke free from me wasn’t something I could control. “She’s not leaving me,” was all I could say.

The door opened, and Mase came in and looked at me, then at Harlow. “Is she OK?” he asked in a panic.

“Yes. Mr. Carter is just overcome with the news that his fiancée will be waking up for good soon.”

“Thank God,” Mase muttered, and sank into the nearest chair, dropping his head into his hands.

“Right now, she needs Grant to talk to her. I suspect she was trying to wake up for him, and I’m sure she wants to know about their baby girl. Let’s give them some time alone,” the doctor said as he opened the door and waited for Mase to stand up and follow.

Mase looked reluctant to leave. “Will you send word as soon as she’s awake?” he asked me.

“Of course,” I assured him.

He nodded, then followed the doctor out of the room.

I pulled a chair beside her bed and sat down. Her hand was still cool, so I pulled it between both of mine and warmed it.

“I wasn’t here when you called for me. I was rocking Lila Kate. They let me hold her. She’s as light as a feather, and she smells really good. I sang to her. I sang every lullaby I could think of, and then I just started singing her Toby Keith songs. I think she really likes ‘I Love This Bar.’”