I frowned and looked back at her, forcing a smile. “Yeah sure, why wouldn’t I be? I’m talking to the hottest girl in the bar, of course I’m okay.”

She bit her lip and looked at me through her eyelashes. “Well are you going to get me a drink then?” she prompted, nodding at the barman who was looking at me expectantly.

Oh fuck, how long have I been standing there thinking about Rosie for? I looked back at the girl. “Sorry. So what was it that you wanted?”

She laughed. “I said vodka and Coke.”

She’d already answered the question? How did I not hear that in her screechy voice? I had a feeling I would still be able to hear her from outside. I smiled and nodded to the barman.

“Vodka and Coke for the lady, and I’ll have the same again.” I nodded towards my empty glass and downed the last of my beer.

The girl stepped closer to me. “So what are you thinking about so hard that it’s making you zone out like that?”

Why am I still talking to this girl? There has to be someone else, anyone else, anyone who doesn’t sound like Minnie-freaking-Mouse!

I shook my head. “I really don’t want to talk about it.” I said the words but that didn’t stop me from talking about it though. “I mean… I just… this girl… she… it’s been three weeks and she… oh shit, just forget it.”

I groaned in frustration. Get a grip, Nate! Score with the girl, you’re losing her! I plastered my game smile on.

“Everything’s great. I’m great. You’re great. We’re all f**king great,” I sang, trying to sound enthusiastic, but I think maybe I’d put a little too much effort into it because she frowned and looked a little concerned about my sanity.

The barman finally graced us with his presence, setting the drinks down on the counter. As I paid for them quickly, I picked up my glass, downing the shot. “Actually, dude, hit me again,” I instructed. Of course, my head was going to hurt tomorrow, but I could still imagine the smell of Rosie’s hair so, clearly, I was nowhere near drunk enough yet.

The barman frowned. “Do you think that’s wise?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Wise? No, wise would have been listening to my best friend when he told me to stay away from the hot little married player girl!

“Sure, why not. If I pass out then just throw me in a cab would ya?” I joked. He laughed and rolled his eyes before making me another drink. I turned my attention back to the girl I would bed tonight. “I didn’t catch your name. Wait, let me guess it… I bet it’s Candy; because damn you look good enough to eat,” I lied. I laughed at my own joke and she blushed. Rosie would have come back with a line there, she wouldn’t have just blushed she would have come back with something teasing or flirting.

“It’s Vicky,” she replied, sipping her drink, her eyes not leaving mine.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you Vicky, I’m Nate.”

An hour later I was beyond wasted and was leaning on the bar heavily. “I didn’t know what to do, so I just walked away. Why do you think she didn’t tell me she was married? Why didn’t she tell me she had a kid? I mean, if you had a kid you’d tell me, right? Wait, do you have a kid?” I slurred looking at the blonde. What is her name again? I wondered. Victoria, Verity, Veronica? Oh, screw it, I’ll just call her Minnie from now on and see if she notices.

She frowned and shook her head; she looked a little bored. “Look, Nate, you seem like a nice guy, and you’re obviously having a problem with this Rosie girl. It’s pretty obvious that you’re still into her, so maybe you should just go home and sober up. Give her a call in the morning,” she suggested looking a little disappointed about it.

Call her in the morning? I’m not calling her in the morning! The stupid girl had her chance, and she blew it. I frowned. “Why are you still talking about her anyway? I thought we agreed you’d drop it ten minutes ago,” I muttered accusingly. Why had she brought her up again anyway?

The girl laughed and shook her head. “Nate, we were talking about my job and then you just jumped in with, ‘Rosie’s a school teacher’, and then proceeded to tell me the same things over and over, like you have been for the last half an hour.”

She scowled and folded her arms across her chest – that was when I realised that I hadn’t had nearly enough to drink yet because I didn’t even glance down to see how her cl**vage looked. Before Rosie, that would have been the first thing I would have done, because when a girl crossed her arms it made her boobs look hot. I forced myself to look at her br**sts just so I was behaving more like my old self, but I felt nothing. I didn’t even want to bed this girl, but I had to. I had to move on because I felt sick, I felt physically sick. Wait, I really do feel sick… am I actually going to puke? I pondered it for a few seconds – my head was spinning a little, but it wasn’t too bad. No, I was safe; I wasn’t going to vomit quite yet.

“Sorry, Minnie, it’s my fault. I’ll stop talking about her now, but you need to stop bringing her up too,” I accused, waving for the barman again.

She laughed and raised one questioning eyebrow. “Minnie?”

Ah, f**k it; she noticed my reference to the screechy cartoon mouse. I grasped desperately at something that wasn’t to do with the fact that every time she opened her mouth all the cats in LA sat up and looked around for their next meal.

Suddenly an idea hit me.

“Yeah Minnie, like the little mouse,” I confirmed. “Because you’re so cute I just want to pick you up and put you in my pocket and carry you around all day.” I shrugged, chuckling into my glass, causing whiskey to slop out over the side and onto the bar.

“Aww, that’s kinda sweet. No one’s ever called me that before.” She smiled happily which made me laugh even harder. She smiled seductively. “So, I was thinking… this girl’s hurt you, right?” she asked, stepping closer to me. I resisted the urge to step back away from her, she was in my personal space, and I just wanted to run away and crawl into my bed and sleep off the alcohol that was making my legs a little unsteady.

I scoffed and frowned. Of course Rosie hadn’t hurt me, because that would mean I cared about her, and I didn’t. I didn’t care about her at all. I wondered if maybe I kept repeating the words over and over in my head they would actually start to mean something, instead of just being a jumble of words strung together in a sentence.

When I didn’t say anything, she continued. “How about you come to my place, and I take your mind off her?” She trailed her hand down my chest until she got to my belt buckle. “I could make you forget all about this… Rosie,” she said her name like it was a dirty word and one of her fingers slipped inside the waistband of my jeans as she stepped closer to me, pressing her chest against mine.

Man up, Nate, and do it. Just say yes for fuck’s sake and take the girl home.

“Rosie who?” I whispered, snaking my arm around the blonde’s waist and pulling her closer to me. I pressed my lips to hers, kissing her roughly, as I ran my hand up her back and tangled my fingers into the back of her hair. I wanted to punch myself for noticing that her hair was shorter than Rosie’s and didn’t feel as soft or silky.

It wasn’t working though. I couldn’t get Rosie out of my head. I needed to try harder. A little hard work on my part and then I could forget that the gorgeous little feisty thing ever existed.

When the kiss deepened and my tongue touched hers, I wanted to pull away. She didn’t taste right; all I could taste was alcohol, and she wasn’t even a very good kisser, too much tongue, too desperate.

She pulled away from me after a minute, smiling happily.

“So? Want me to help you think about something else?” she squeaked.

I nodded gratefully. Hell yeah I wanted her to help me think of something else, because the more I drank, the more I wanted to go back to work, grab my rifle and shoot that lucky son of a bitch that was married to my girl.

She grinned and downed the last of her drink before closing her hand over mine and pulling me gently towards the door, giggling like a mouse on speed.

I’ll just do it and then leave, I thought. I didn’t want to spend the whole night with this girl. I wouldn’t be able to cope with her voice in the morning if I had a hangover.

I hailed a cab as she ran her hands down my back, pushing her hands into the back of my jeans. As I stood there, I thought about calling Rosie to see what she had to say for herself. It wasn’t too late for me to push this girl away from me and tell her I’d made a mistake. Could I call Rosie and beg her to see me? Could I just get a cab to her place and beat the shit out of her man? I wondered. Or a text. Maybe I should send her a message. But that idea was instantly dismissed because I had no idea what to write. I just had no words to describe how she’d made me feel, mainly because I barely understood it myself.

I groaned as the girl started kissing down the side of my neck, scratching her nails on the skin of my lower back. It all felt so wrong, but I didn’t know why. I was a free agent. Hell, Rosie and I were never even exclusive, we hadn’t had that conversation at all, but yet it felt a little like I was cheating – which was ridiculous seeing as she was the one that was married!

Anger was making my hands tremble as I closed my eyes. I hated that she was making me feel like this. Why did I have to meet her? Why couldn’t I have listened to Ashton and stayed the hell away from her? My life would be so much easier if I hadn’t, and then I wouldn’t be standing here feeling like someone had just stolen something that could have possibly been the best thing that had ever happened to me.

The thing that pissed me off more than anything else was that I couldn’t even hate Rosie. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t bring myself to.

I looked down at the blonde. She smiled seductively, and I was totally fed up with thinking. Nate the player didn’t think, he acted, so that’s what I’d do. I’d go back to what I knew best. This was me. Screwing girls was the talent that I’d been given, so I’d make the most of it. I bent my head and pressed my lips to hers, ignoring the small part of me that still wanted to run away.

By the time we got back to her place she was all over me. She stripped off her top as soon as we were through her front door, throwing it in my face as she laughed hysterically. I smiled weakly and kissed her as she led us to her bedroom, unbuttoning my shirt as she walked. When we finally reached the bed, she pushed me and made me sit on the edge as she rid me of my shirt. She smiled, biting her lip in appreciation as she moved forward, settling herself on my lap.

“Poor baby’s been so hurt. Want me to kiss that better for you?” she whispered, kissing down my neck and guiding me to lay down on my back. Her hands unfastened my belt as her mouth travelled lower, unbuckling my belt as she kissed lower and lower over my chest and stomach.

I closed my eyes. None of this felt right. What the hell is wrong with me? I haven’t gotten any for three weeks, and this girl is offering it to me on a plate. Get your shit together, Nate! She pushed my jeans down around my h*ps and her hand closed around my dick. I grunted, gripping my hands into my hair roughly as images of Rosie came to the front of my mind – the way she laughed or the smell of her perfume.

When the girl’s hot mouth started lavishing attention on my dick, trying to wake it up and spur it into action, I gritted my teeth.

Something was wrong with me. Nothing was happening at all. The girl was pretty, half-naked, and sucking on me, yet I was still limp as anything. Deep down, I knew what the problem was. She wasn’t the one I wanted, and I shouldn’t be here.

“Stop. I can’t,” I croaked.

The girl pulled away, looking up at me with a bewildered expression on her face. “You want me to stop?”

I nodded quickly and looked at her apologetically. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

She sat up, frowning. “What? You can’t?” she asked incredulously.

I shook my head and sat up, pushing her off me as I pulled my jeans back up. “I’m sorry, but I shouldn’t be here. I’m…” I didn’t know what I wanted to say, so I just shook my head and left the sentence hanging as I stooped and plucked my shirt from the floor.

As I took a step away from her, her hand closed over mine.

“Nate, that girl’s not worth it. She doesn’t want you. She’s not going to leave her husband for you after three weeks. Face it, you were just a little something to make her life more exciting for a while. Well screw her, if she doesn’t want you then you should show her that you don’t need her either.”

I flinched. The words hurt even more when they came out of someone else’s mouth. I sighed, sick of thinking, sick of overanalysing, sick of everything.

This girl was right; Rosie didn’t want me so I should just forget about it. This girl could help take the pain away; at least for a little while, and then when it came back I’d just go find another girl to make me feel better. I couldn’t help but wonder how many girls I’d have to sleep with before I stopped comparing them to Rosie.

The blonde crawled to the end of the bed and tugged on my hand, making me move closer to her. “You should show her what she’s missing out on,” she persuaded. “It’s her loss, not yours,” she whispered, pressing her lips to mine again.

A switch flipped inside me as I made up my mind. I wasn’t changing it again tonight. I bent down, looping my arms under her ass as I lifted her to me, crushing her body against mine.

“Well her loss is your gain,” I said confidently, smirking at her.