During breakfast, talk turned to what I’d been up to lately, and the Taylors and baby Cameron. My mom adored Ashton; he didn’t really have any family of his own so my mom kind of took it upon herself to be a mother figure to him whenever he came around. She treated both him and Anna like her own.

“Any girls on the scene, Nate?” Dad questioned.

I grinned like an idiot at the thought of Rosie. “Yeah, actually.”

Looking over at my mom, I noticed that she was staring at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. I chuckled nervously. Was it really that shocking that I had a girlfriend? I’d never had a serious one before so I’d never even admitted to them the casual flings I had with girls. As far as they were concerned, this was the first girl they had probably ever heard about.

“A g-girl?” my mom stuttered. Tears formed in her eyes.

I laughed again and shrugged. “Yeah, she’s great. I really like her.”

A loud crash on the table got my attention away from my mother. Hannah had slammed her hand down on the table, glaring at me angrily.

“You get to have a girlfriend but yet you go all neurotic if any of us even talk to a guy?” she snapped incredulously.

I smirked at her. “I like the saying, ‘do as I say, not as I do’.”

“You’re such an ass sometimes. Double standards or what? How is that fair?”

“I’m the oldest, so you have to listen to me. Plus, I’m the only boy that means that, after dad, I get final say,” I told her. Mom cleared her throat at that statement, so I quickly backtracked. “And after Mom, of course.”

Hannah was muttering about me under her breath, Lisa still had her earphones in and was pretending like I wasn’t even here, but Paige caught my eye and grinned at me.

I looked back to my mom to see she was still looking a little shocked. “Is it really that shocking that I have a girlfriend?” I asked curiously.

She gulped and shook her head, as if she was trying to work something out. “No, it’s just,” she swallowed, “you’ve never talked about a girl before.”

“That’s because I’ve never met anyone like her before,” I admitted.

At my answer, my mom made an excited little whooping noise and then started firing off the questions so fast that I almost regretted telling them about Rosie. What was her name, where did we meet, how long had I known her for, what did she do for a living. When she asked what she looked like, I pulled out my phone and found the photo that Rosie had taken of us the previous night. I handed the phone to my mom, who was so eager to see it that she practically snatched it out of my hand.

“Oh!” she squeaked, as she looked at the picture. She was full on crying now. “She’s so beautiful, and look at you two together! Aww… this is… aww…” she stuttered, swiping at the happy tears that continued to fall.

I laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, she’s awesome,” I muttered, stuffing down the rest of my breakfast as they all passed my phone around.

When my dad looked at the photo, he whistled appreciatively. “Nice job there, Nate!” he congratulated me, patting my shoulder proudly.

My mom was beaming at me. “So, when do we get to meet her? Why didn’t you bring her with you today? Oh, Nate, go home and get her and bring her back with you!” my mom begged, looking at me with the pleading eyes that she used on my dad all the time.

I laughed but shook my head. I would love to do that, but Rosie was probably nursing the hangover from hell. Besides that, she had DJ this weekend. “I can’t, she’s busy today.” I shrugged, ignoring my mom’s disappointed face.

“Well, what about tomorrow instead?”

I smiled apologetically. “I can’t, Rosie has… commitments,” I answered awkwardly, trying to sum up having a child in one word. “She can’t just drop everything to come out here at will.”

“Commitments?” Paige prompted.

I took a deep breath and wondered how my parents were going to react to knowing that Rosie had a son.

“Rosie has a little boy from a previous relationship,” I said quietly, kind of hoping that they wouldn’t hear me. They did though.

My dad burst out laughing, as did Paige. Hannah’s mouth dropped open in shock; Lisa just continued to bob her head to the beat of the song she had blasting through her earphones. And my mom, well, her reaction was something different entirely.

“I have a grandchild?” she shrieked, clapping her hands and jumping out of her chair while squealing excitedly.

I flinched at her reaction, which made both Paige and my dad laugh even harder. “Well, it’s not… it’s early days,” I muttered, unsure really how to answer that comment.

“Nate! A baby! Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to tell the girls at bowling club! Margaret’s been rubbing it in my face that she has a grandchild already. Just wait until I wipe that smug look off her face on Monday!” my mom chirped, grinning moronically.

I chuckled at that. My mom and Margaret had a lifelong competition going. Margaret was one of those people that had to upstage you, whatever my mom had done, Margaret had always done it better – according to her anyway – so the fact that Margaret had a grandchild already was something my mom couldn’t compete with.

“Look, it’s early days, okay? I’ve only known her a short time so let’s not get carried away here,” I suggested, shaking my head, still laughing.

“You said it was a boy? How old is he? What’s his name? Go home and get them both!” my mom cried excitedly. “Oh, I can’t wait to see them! A grandchild! Oh, I wonder what he’ll call me. Grandma? No, too old. Nanny? Oh, I like that one!” she beamed, wiping the tears from her eyes again.

“He’ll call you crazy if you keep going on like this,” I joked.

“What does he look like? Please, Nate, I need details!” she begged, sitting down again and looking at me expectantly.

I looked at my dad for help, and he just shrugged as if I should have known this was coming. I groaned and picked up my empty plate, wanting to escape the madness for a little while.

“I’ll be right back,” I muttered.

As I walked off, I could hear my dad telling my mom to chill out, and I shot him a grateful smile over my shoulder. As I set my plate in the sink, I took a couple of deep breaths. That was all just too much. I’d actually been preparing myself for an argument because my girlfriend was a single mother, and instead my mom was already cooing over the child that I hadn’t even met!

My mind wandered to Rosie again, a smile crept onto my face as I wondered if she was suffering today after all of those rums she put away. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, frowning because it didn’t have much battery and I hadn’t thought to bring my charger. I dialled her number quickly and held my breath waiting for her to answer.

“Hey you,” she answered, after a couple of rings.

I smiled at the sound of her voice. She was definitely suffering; her tone was hushed as if she didn’t want to speak too loudly and hurt her head or something. “Hey, Stripes. How are you feeling today?”

“I feel bad. Why did I drink all that last night? Man, I honestly feel like a pile of… junk, right now,” she answered, stumbling over her cuss word so I knew DJ was within earshot.

“Well you did almost drain the rum from the bar last night. I heard the barman putting in a fresh order for a new case because the, and these are his words not mine, the loud little drunken brunette had made him a fortune.”

She laughed quietly. “Loud little drunken brunette? Those sound more like your words.”

“No, if I was using my words, it would have been, hot loud little drunken brunette,” I countered.

She chuckled and then I heard a little voice off the line. “Momma, can Auntie Toni stay for lunch?” DJ asked her. There was muffled talking off the phone, Rosie telling him that she could stay if she wanted to and that they’d go to the park after. I smiled at the soft tone to her voice when she spoke to him, she really sounded like a great mom. He was a lucky kid.

Rosie came back on the phone after a minute. “Sorry about that, I’m back now. So, how’s the visit with your parents going?”

I was unsure how to answer that. “It’s okay. We’ve just eaten and I think we’re going to the beach in a bit,” I said, shrugging and skimming over the whole ‘I have a grandchild?’ hysteria that came from my mother.

“Sounds good. So, are you-” she started, but the phone was snatched out of my hand before she could finish. I jumped and looked around as my mom put the phone to her ear.

“Mom, what the hell?” I cried, trying to grab for the phone, but she turned to the side and started to talk.

“Hello? Is this Rosie?” she asked, grinning like a mad woman.

Oh fuck, please let this be a dream! Please let my mother really not have just stolen my phone and be talking to my girlfriend who she’s never even met!

I gripped my hands in my hair as she spoke.

“I’m Dawn, Nate’s mom. It’s nice to talk to you too, sweetheart. Oh yes, he’s behaving.” She shot me a thumbs up sign, and I just wished the ground would open up and swallow me. She started laughing at something Rosie had said.

“So, you two have been together for a couple of weeks from what I’ve been told. Well I’m so pleased. Oh if he does then you just tell me and I’ll give him a slap for you.” She laughed again, her eyes twinkling. “Oh really? Well I wish you would have come today with him. Absolutely, we’ll do that another time. Aww, I’m just glad he’s found someone that he cares about.”

I couldn’t take any more; I held my hand out, glaring at her. “Enough now! Say bye and let me talk to her!”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’ve got to go; Nate’s giving me the stink eye for taking his phone.” She chuckled again, and I could hear Rosie laughing through the line too. “I’ll talk to you again soon and we should meet up. Absolutely. Can’t wait. Bye, sweetheart!” my mom sang, still grinning happily.

She put the phone back in my hand, and I put it against my chest so Rosie couldn’t hear me. “What the hell was that, Mom?” I whispered angrily.

She grinned and patted my chest as she walked back out of the kitchen and onto the patio, exclaiming to my father, “Oh, Evan, she sounds so adorable!”

I groaned and put the phone back to my ear, wincing. “Rose, I’m so sorry! She took the phone before I even realised what she was doing. She’s like some freaking ninja woman; I didn’t even hear her come in the room,” I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut, drowning in embarrassment.

Rosie was laughing so hard that I had to just listen to it for a minute until she calmed down enough to talk to me. “He’s giving me the stink eye,” she said, repeating my mother’s words, bursting into another fit of giggles.

I sighed and put my head in my hands. Why did I have to have such a crazy mother?

Three hours later and all the family were at the beach at the end of my parents’ property. I loved the beach. I’d grown up here and it was my dream to have a place just like this one day. I smiled to myself, lying back onto the towel, sunbathing and thinking of how much DJ would love it here.

I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up to someone nudging my arm. Cracking open my eyes, I looked up into the three grinning faces of my sisters. As I yawned and rubbed my eyes, they all started giggling.

I frowned. What the hell is that about? Oh wait, please don’t tell me I had some pervert dream and I’ve woken up with a boner! I panicked and jerked up slightly, putting my hand over my crotch, checking, but I was safe, no pervert dream this time.

“What’s wrong with you guys? You look like the three witches in the opening scene of Macbeth.”

They all exchanged glances but didn’t say anything, just carried on sniggering. My dad walked past, carrying another cooler, probably refilling the drink supply. As he looked at me, he started to laugh too. He high-five’d Paige on the way past, and then sat next to my mom on my other side, still chuckling to himself.

Okay, what the hell is this actually about?

“What are you three up to?” I asked, leaning up on my elbow.

Hannah shook her head, looking at me innocently. Lisa choked on her laughter and turned away. As I moved, something black on my chest caught my attention. I frowned and looked at it only to see my whole chest was covered in marker pen.

Slogans of: ‘Rosie’s bitch’ with an arrow pointing down to the waistband of my shorts. ‘If lost, please return to the local strip club’ and ‘Momma’s little soldier’ with some extremely crude drawings, were all over my chest and stomach. A big ‘You got Owned, by P, H & L’ and a large smiley face was scrawled on my forearm.

Son of a…

“What the fuck?” I shouted in disbelief.

“Language, Nathaniel!” my mom scolded, giggling to herself.

The three girls all got up and ran in different directions, laughing their asses off.

I burst out laughing. Well, I guess that’s what I get for falling asleep in front of three Peters girls, I should have known better!

“You’d better run!” I shouted, streaking after one of them at random, intending to catch them all in turn and unceremoniously dunk them into the sea headfirst as payback.

By the time evening came my sides hurt from laughing so much. My dad was cooking on the outdoor grill and we all decided to stay outside to eat.

I groaned again, still rubbing my stomach absentmindedly. “I can’t believe you didn’t check first, Lisa,” I grumbled for the hundredth time.