Without reaching a firm decision about school, my thoughts went to my other big concern: Crystal. It had been longer than I'd ever gone without talking to my child. When she was young and every other word was Momma, I would have gladly been Gussie or even Minnie Mouse if I didn't have to hear a threeyear-old whining "Momma" again. Now I'd love to hear her say that one word.

Should I make the first move and reach out to her? Or should I wait? If she needed me, she had the phone number. But-in motherhood, there's always a but or two lying around in the wings-I should be the one calling the shots.

A dark colored pickup slowed down and turned the corner, coming to a stop in my driveway. I figured someone had turned at the wrong corner and was using my driveway to turn around. The engine stopped, and the door opened. That got my attention, and I recognized Drew the moment he stepped out of the truck. Squared shoulders. Belly sucked in. Chin up. He wore confidence as casually as his dark, pleated slacks and a white long-sleeved, lightly starched shirt. An evening breeze carried the smell of expensive shaving lotion across the porch as he shook the legs of his trousers down and rang the doorbell.

My heart caught in my throat. Something was wrong with Crystal. She'd had a car wreck and was dying or already dead. That was the only reason Drew Williams would set foot on my property again after the stunt with "his" car. He rang the bell a second time, waited a moment, and rang it again. When I didn't answer, he knocked hard and long.

"I'm around here" I finally got words to come out of my mouth.

"Where?" he called out.

"Side porch."

He strolled around the porch and sat down beside me without an invitation. He didn't look too shook up, so maybe our daughter wasn't hooked up to every known medical device in an intensive-care unit.

He slid a look from my dangling foot up to my hair. "Good evening, Trudy."

Wonder how he liked the jeans cut off just below my knees and frayed at the hems. I hadn't had time to hem them. I had a house to work on, furniture to stain, a mother in the nursing home, a child who wasn't speaking to me, and decisions to make. If he didn't like my jeans, he could take his charisma and go visit with the devil about it.

"Drew?"

"I've come to ask you nicely to come home where you belong, Trudy."

If that didn't beat all. Drew Williams asking me to come back to him and saying it was where I belonged. Had Charity found someone younger with even more money? Or did he like cut-off jeans with paint splotches these days? And to think of all the lovely lingerie I'd bought through the years.

He laid a hand on my knee. "Well?"

I picked up his hand and dropped it.

He sighed and looked out across the yard. "Okay, I was wrong. I've been a fool. But I don't like coming home to an empty house in the evenings. I miss supper being ready. I miss everything you did to keep a home together."

Not a single endearment. He missed having toilet paper on the roller and pot roast on the table. I couldn't remember the last time Drew had told me he loved me. I think he'd said the words when we were dating, but, sitting there beside him, I wasn't sure he had actually said those three words even then.

He threw an arm across the back of the swing but was careful not to touch me. "What do you say? Let's call a truce. I'll forgive you for the car. I'll forgive you for taking my money. We can sell this property and reclaim most of it. You've done a pretty good job of making this old place decent, so it should bring a fair amount. We'll put it back into the savings account."

Still he didn't mention loving me or apologize for all the misery and embarrassment he'd put me through. I was being offered my old car that no doubt still smelled faintly of sardines. And Charity got one of those new Thunderbirds.

"I've got a bottle of wine in my new truck. We'll celebrate tonight. Go lock up the house, and come with me. Your clothes are still in the house. I'll move them back into your closet if you'll come home. Please, Trudy?"

"Back into my closet?" I whispered.

Were Charity's short skirts and skinny little size-extrasmall shirts on my hangers? Were her red satin thongs folded neatly in my underwear drawer? The drawer would be offended if my Hanes Her Way white cotton briefs were put back in there after it had known such tasty little treats. I just couldn't do that to a perfectly good dresser drawer.

"No, thank you," -l said loud and clear.

His tone changed. "Don't play hard to get. I know I made a mistake or two, but you were so busy with Crystal and your own life, I just wanted someone to make me feel special. I'm past that now."

So now it was my fault. I'd spent too much time with our child. He hadn't felt special. Poor baby. Bless his heart.

"Marriage is built on trust and respect, and when that's gone, it's like sticking dynamite under the foundation of a house and expecting it to go on standing. I could never trust you again. Every time you got a phone call, I'd be wondering if you were setting up a date. Every time you said you had to stay overnight on a trip, it would be in the back of my mind that you were with another woman. So no, thanks. I'm not interested."

"You are a fool, Trudy." His voice took on a sharper edge.

"I can be a happy fool for not living with you or a -miserable one for living with you. I'll take happy."

He jumped up and folded his arms across his chest. "I gave you a place in society."

"Give it to Charity. I don't want it anymore."

It takes me a while sometimes to get the big picture, but when I do, it's an amazing revelation. Drew was in a bind, and I was the only way out of it. It must be serious for him to arrive all dressed up, freshly shaven, smelling good, and with wine waiting.

"She wants to get married, doesn't she?" I guessed. "I provided the fire wall between you and your young toys, didn't I? You couldn't leave poor old dumb Trudy, so you were protected from all those young twits. Now I'm gone, and you are in hot water, aren't you?"

He jerked his head around to glare at me. "So what's the price? I can't marry that girl. She'll ruin me financially. Give me a ballpark figure of what you want"

"Price? As in money?"

"Or cars or a new house or you name it, Trudy."

"What if I said absolute celibacy?"

"What are you talking about? Me or you?"

"Both"

"You are crazy. You can have your own room, your own bed, and whatever else it'll cost me to get you back home. But Iwon't.."

Oops! He'd gone too far, and he knew it the minute the words left his mouth.

"I wouldn't ask it of you, Drew. You need a good, stable woman, but I'm not that woman. Not anymore."

"It'll cost you," he said.

"Oh?"

"I'll turn Crystal against you. I've already started. You'll either take us both or you don't get her. She'll hate you."

I raised my voice. "Don't threaten me"

"Hey, Trudy." Billy Lee pushed back the hedge and headed straight for the porch.

His timing was perfect. I thought about kissing him right in front of Drew.

"Over here, Billy Lee. In the swing."