The Ladies' Room Page 48

"Oh, I almost forgot" I reached inside my jacket pocket and brought out one fluffy yellow kitten and a black-and-white one. "This is a three-for-one day."

Crystal squealed.

I handed them to her. "You take care of them while I find a laundry basket and an old blanket."

In half an hour we were back to business. Billy Lee and Crystal had their heads together studying irrigation systems in modern greenhouses, and I was finding more remnants of "waste not, want not"

The only difference was that now a plastic laundry basket with a blanket and three felines in it was sitting right beside Crystal's chair, close enough that she could pet the mother, which she'd already named Mary, because it was the Christmas season, and there had been no room in the inn for her to deliver her babies. She wanted to name one of the kittens Jesus, but I wasn't about to start dodging lightning bolts. They could be Fluffy and Boots or whatever else cats were supposed to be named.

The morning got away from me quickly. I looked up at the clock to find it was straight-up noon at the same time Crystal declared she was hungry. Billy Lee organized their notes and put them into a folder. I pushed a second garbage bag to a corner.

"There's clam chowder in the refrigerator and still half a loaf of homemade bread," I said.

Billy Lee heated soup.

I sliced bread.

Crystal set the table and opened ajar of peaches for dessert.

"I reckon we could have the greenhouse built by the time the baby is born. You could have a grand opening," Billy Lee said as we ate.

"I don't want a big to-do. I want to do some advertising and start to work. If I'm good and my prices are reasonable, word will get around," she said.

Was this really my daughter?

"It'll be August when you open. Too late for bedding and garden plants," Billy Lee warned.

She had both kittens in her lap. "But just right for pansies and mums and bulbs and every other fall planting need. The cats can keep the mice out of the greenhouse too."

"Get ready for lots of hard work," I said.

"I don't see it as work, Momma. I can't wait to make things grow."

I fought back a bushelful of pure old jealousy when the two of them went back to discussing parking and office space; the latter would need room for a crib and a playpen. What was wrong with me? Crystal was my beloved daughter. Billy Lee was my dearest friend. But somehow I didn't want to play nice and share either one.

After lunch, Billy Lee went to his shop to work on the kitchen cabinets he had nearly completed. We'd spent our time at the table with brochures and yellow legal pads several weeks before. That's what had set me to cleaning out the old cabinets that day. Later that evening, after supper, I'd follow him out to the shop and do some staining. Crystal wasn't allowed in the shop because the fumes weren't good for a pregnant woman. For that little while I wouldn't have to share him, and I looked forward to it.

I'd finished cleaning out the lower cabinets by midafternoon. Before I tackled the upper ones, I took a break in the living room with a cup of mint-flavored green tea. I was sitting in a rocker sorting out my feelings when Crystal brought in the basket of cats and sat down on the floor beside me.

She used a forefinger to pet one of the tiny baby kittens. "Momma, could I talk to you about something?"

I'd made up my mind. She wasn't naming one of those kittens Jesus. It was pure sacrilege to name a cat after our Lord and Savior.

"What's on your mind?"

"It's Daddy. I called him on Christmas, and I don't want there to be secrets in this house. I want it to stay open and honest, and that's the way I want to raise my child."

That seemed pretty big compared to naming a kitten.

"Honey, if your father is still upset with you, that doesn't mean he doesn't love you and won't love the baby when it's born. You can call him and visit him anytime you want. You don't have to tell me"

"That's where you're wrong, Momma. I do want to tell you. Everything. I've lived in a house with dishonesty. Daddy had his affairs, and I think I knew about them from the time I was nine. If he hadn't gotten careless with Charity, we wouldn't be sitting here with these three cats right now. Jonah was a sorry rascal, but he taught me a lot. When he hit me and left, I sat in the middle of the kitchen floor all wadded up in a ball and cried my eyes out. You know why? Because I'd turned my back on you, and down deep I knew that Daddy wasn't going to bail me out of the mess. I knew what he would say before I ever went there"

"I'm sorry," I said.

"You were so trusting that you never knew about his affairs, did you? When I was a teenager I thought you were stupid one minute and hypocritical the next. Stupid if you didn't see what he was doing. Hypocritical if you did know"

"Marriage is complicated, and your father's unfaithfulness wasn't anything I could prove. I guess a part of me always knew that something wasn't quite right. Looking back, I can see that the signs were there. But I never looked for proof. I guess maybe I really believed that ignorance was bliss. Besides, in the past I always tried to avoid conflict, Crystal."

"Amen to marriage being complicated. I stayed long after I should have left Jonah, but I didn't want to admit I'd made a mistake. But you weren't hypocritical, you were just dumb."

"Thanks, I guess," I mumbled.

"That sounded better in my head. I love you, and I'm not going to let you down anymore. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Daddy. I still love him, and I'll call him occasionally, but I'm not going to hold my breath for him to love me back unconditionally. He's always had his way-except when you left him and when I refused to get rid of my baby. He's even more spoiled than me!"

"Is that possible?" I laughed.

"Barely," she said. "But my eyes sure got opened the day I realized how low I'd sunk"

I laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you weren't too stubborn to come home."

"Home," she echoed. "It's crazy, isn't it, Momma? I used to hate it when you made me visit Aunt Gert. This house gave me the creeps. And it smelled funny." She laughed.

I raised an eyebrow. "It smelled funny?"

"Yeah, like a musty old cellar or soured milk."

"And it doesn't anymore?"

"No, now it smells clean and like fresh paint and varnish. Sometimes it's like Gert is here, but . . " She couldn't find the words to finish.

I nodded. "I know. I think she'd be pleased with what we're doing."

"Do you realize you always say `we'? That you always include Billy Lee in the planning and everything?" she asked.

"I guess I do. He was there that day I found out about Charity, and he's stood beside me through it all."

"Oh?"

"I didn't find out about Charity because your dad `slipped up.' I was at Gert's funeral and overheard a conversation in the ladies' room about how stupid I was to let Drew get away with his infidelities. Later Billy Lee and I were the only ones in the sanctuary, and he consoled me"

Crystal frowned. "You told him what you'd just found out?"

I patted her hand. "Not about your dad. Billy Lee had no idea what I'd overheard, and I sure didn't blurt it all out. He was truly mourning Aunt Gert, and somehow that helped. I can't explain it. We were both miserable. For different reasons, but still grieving. He'd lost his friend and surrogate grandmother. I was about to bury a marriage. After that day he became my best friend."