"Keep those germs there," she agreed. "I don't think I could bear to be sick now that the morning sickness has passed. Whatever you need, you just call, and I'll put it on the porch," she said.

Need? What I needed was to bare my aching soul to Billy Lee. But he had to be well first. Hearing what I had to say might shove him right over the edge into eternity.

While I waited, I set about making a cup of my famous healing tea. Eight ounces of boiling water, a tablespoon of honey, and a fine dusting of ginger over the top. That and two pieces of cinnamon toast would be his breakfast. After he ate every bite and drank every drop, he'd have a Tylenol and a thousand milligrams of vitamin C. For lunch he'd get homemade chicken noodle soup and more pills. For supper it would be more of the same, and at bedtime a cup of very sweet hot lemonade.

The doorbell rang. The ordered items had arrived with a note. I was to call after breakfast, and Crystal would make a run to the grocery store and check in on Momma. I changed clothes, and ten minutes later I was sitting cross-legged on the bed beside him, arguing over every bite or sip. I didn't care if he didn't like the taste of ginger or if the toast had too much sugar on it.

"You don't listen," he muttered.

"And you are not a good patient. That tea and toast will keep you out of the undertaker's hearse."

He sniffled. "I am not dying. I just want to be left alone, not badgered into eating and taking those stupid pills."

I handed him a tissue from the box beside the bed. "Blow your nose, and stop whining. I'm protecting my interests; if you die, I don't get my new cabinets." I didn't tell him my interest involved more than cherry stain and a new sink.

He huffed and puffed, but he ate the toast and drank the tea. If this was what they taught them on Mars, I hoped my grandchild was a girl.

"Now get up and go take a shower, put on some lounging clothes, and meet me in the living room," I said.

"I can't. I'll pass out in the shower," he groaned.

"If you do, I'll come in there and revive you," I threatened.

He almost grinned. You are a drill sergeant."

"You've got that right. You'll get sore and weaker lying around all day. You need to sit up. We'll read or watch television or even work the crossword puzzle in the newspaper, but you are going to get well"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't you touch my crossword puzzle. I'll take a lot of bossing, but don't you touch my puzzle."

"I'll do the whole thing in pen and cross out errors and make a big mess of it if you don't get out of bed."

He took a shower, shaved, and put on a pair of flannel bottoms and a shirt. He didn't faint dead away or even throw up the abominable ginger. He wasn't real perky when he plopped down on the sofa, but at least he wasn't kissing Saint Peter's ring or having a discussion with Lucifer about air-conditioning Hades, either.

If a portion of his brain hadn't been fried with fever, he probably could have finished the puzzle in fifteen minutes without a peep from me. Have to also fess up that I could have been a bigger help if he hadn't splashed that good-smelling shaving lotion onto his face. My thoughts weren't exactly on the capital of Peru or Nigel Julio's nickname in a 1941 movie.

"I'm feeling better. I'm going to get dressed and go out to the shop," he announced a few minutes after we finished the puzzle.

"Over my dead body. You are going to rest for at least two days; then we'll talk about it."

"Who died and made you God?"

"Remember when I asked you that? You said Gert. Well, the same answer applies to me today," I shot right back at him.

"Even Gert left me alone when I was sick," he snarled.

"I'm not God or Gert"

I picked up the remote and turned on the television. Jeopardy! was just coming on.

"Oklahoma," Billy Lee said between coughs.

"What?"

"Oklahoma is the forty-sixth state to enter the Union. After that was Arizona and New Mexico, then Alaska and Hawaii."

I switched my thoughts to the program. "Oh"

"What were you thinking about, anyway? I don't even like this show. I thought you wanted to watch it."

"I'd rather watch a movie. What have you got?"

"You didn't answer my question. What were you thinking about?"

I told a white lie. "The lake house."

"Let's go to the lake house, and I'll sit on the deck and watch the sun come up and go down. I'll even let you drive the Caddy."

"Nice try. Let's talk," I said.

"I'm sick. I don't feel like talking. It makes me cough."

"Then we'll read. Or, better yet, let's have a Lethal Weapon marathon. You own all four of them?"

"Don't own a single one. Don't even know what you're talking about. I don't watch much television," he said.

I went out to the kitchen and called Crystal on her cell phone. She was on the way to the grocery store from the nursing home. Momma was not having a good day. I told her to go to the video store and rent all four movies and leave them on the porch. And to also bring popcorn, a whole chicken, a package of noodles, and a gallon of vanilla ice cream.

"It's not fair. I'm stuck over here all by myself, and you two get to do a marathon. Lethal Weapon is my favorite, and now that I'm pregnant, that last item would be extra special," she whined.

"Rent two copies of each, and bring my new cell phone over. We'll talk later."

Billy Lee chuckled.

He was going to live.

Life was wonderful.

lost my nerve.

Billy Lee was well, but now that I wasn't taking care of him anymore, I wasn't so brave about telling him how I felt. I was terrified he'd tell me that all he wanted to be was my lifetime friend and neighbor. And I wanted so much more. I wanted to open my eyes in the morning and see him all squinty, trying to focus on my face. I wanted to hear him tell me I was beautiful.

February slipped into March. The crocuses and tulips peeked up from the frozen earth and put on their show. The kitchen cabinets were coming along very well, and the carpenters would start taking the present kitchen down to the bare studs in a few days. The greenhouse plans were finalized, and a crew from Oklahoma City would arrive the next day to start that job. We were in our normal routines and busy again.

But every time Billy Lee was in the room, and that was every single day, I wanted to sit in his lap and kiss him. I was sitting on the back part of the porch watching the kittens, Peter and Paul, romp around on the porch. Mary had spent a couple of days at the vet, so there would be no more children for her. Peter and Paul were just little boys intent on biting each other's tails and ears.

Billy Lee joined me on the porch swing. Sawdust clung to the legs of his overalls and his shirtsleeves. I flicked a piece from his left sideburn and asked if he wanted a glass of iced tea.

"No, thanks. Pretty day, isn't it?"

"Too pretty to be inside. Want to go to the lake house for a couple of days?" I asked wistfully.

"Got too much to do right now. Maybe in a few weeks. How do you feel about me, Trudy?" he asked.

I was stunned into muteness.

"As in?" Two words were my limit.