I feel panic begin to swell in my chest as breathing becomes more difficult. I gasp for air, and grip my throat, wrapping my fingers around it and trying to rub. I’m highly allergic to seafood, and Axel knows this. He knows because he helped me when I was ten years old, and I had my first reaction.

“Y-y-y-you put seafood in there, didn’t you?” I rasp.

His expression doesn’t change. “I had to get it out of you, one way or another.”

I begin to wheeze, and I feel my breathing decreasing. I’ll die. If he doesn’t give me a shot, I’ll die. I look up at him with tears in my eyes, and I see a moment of hesitation in his. It’s there, a moment where his eyes shifted.

“Why...why would you do this to me? I never did anything to you,” I wheeze, rubbing my throat. “I adored you. I loved you. I...you saved my life. Why would you do this? Why?”

“Because there’s nothing left inside me. Now give me the location, or I won’t give you this shot.”

He lifts his shirt and pulls out the shot I know I need. He must have got it from my bag, I always carry one with me. My vision begins to blur, and I begin gasping for air so badly it sounds like I’m having a coughing fit, only with air. I don’t want to die. I’m tired of the fight. He’ll never let me go, and he’ll never tell me what went down that day. It’s not worth dying over, and it’s not worth this pain.

I drop my head, and I gasp through wheezing breaths. “It’s in a bank downtown, in a locker.”

Then, my vision swims, and my world begins to turn. I collapse down, and I’m sure in those moments before I pass out that I hear Axel say the same words he said to me when I jumped off that bridge.

“Keep breathing, Cricket. Don’t close your eyes.”

I know it’s only a dream though. The monster inside him is far stronger than the man trapped behind it.

~*~*~*~

MEADOW

“Meadow, where you at, girl?”

I hear Axel’s voice, and I skip into the living room to see him standing with a great big grin on his face. “Guess what?”

“What?” I cry, running over and leaping into his arms.

He swings me around, and I laugh loudly, my blonde hair flicking in a circle as we move.

“I got a new bike!”

“For real?” I squeal. “Show me.”

He nods his head towards the front door, and I run out into the yard to see the shiny red Harley-Davidson in the driveway. I groan in awe and walk out, running my fingers over the candy-apple paint. “It’s a Super Glide.”

“Your favorite.” He grins, putting his hand on the top of my head and resting it there.

“Are we taking it for a ride?”

He beams. “Hell yeah we are, get your helmet.”

I run inside, and in a split second I have a helmet on and my riding boots. Axel gets on the bike, and I climb on behind him. He starts the powerful machine, and we speed off down the road.

He takes me around all the good bends, and up to the local lighthouse before stopping at our favorite lake. I jump off, and run toward the water. When I reach it, I lean down and run my fingers through the cool liquid.

“So, what’d you think?”

I spin toward him, and grin. “It’s amazing!”

He drops down onto the grass, and pats it. I slump down beside him.

“You know, you’re the only one I wanted to share it with,” he says, smiling down at me.

I bump my shoulder into his. “That’s because I’m your number-one girl, right?”

He laughs, and wraps an arm around my shoulder. “You’ll always be my number-one girl, Cricket. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Meadow, wake up.”

I hear Axel’s voice, and I feel my body coming to. Everything hurts, and my head is pounding. I swallow. My throat is so dry that I can’t get enough saliva to coat it, so it burns.

I flutter my eyelids open, and see Axel staring at me. He’s got a needle in one hand, and a glass of water in another. I realize then I’m soaking wet. He must have been splashing me with it to try and bring me around.

I look up at him, and any sympathy I had for him is now gone.

I hate him.

“Get away from me,” I croak, shifting into a sitting position.

He doesn’t say anything. He just stares down at me.

“Get out...just get out of here....”

“I need that location, Meadow,” he orders.

I lift my scathing eyes to meet his, and he flinches. “You’re a no good piece of shit. I hate you. I hate everything about you. Go and die, Axel. You’re nothing to me anymore. Now...GET THE FUCK OUT!”

He stares at me for the longest moment, and so much passes between us. Then he turns, and he walks out of the room without another word.

And I put a brick wall around my heart.

I can’t feel like this any more.

It’s time to end this.

CHAPTER 11

AXEL

Hatred be my friend, stay with me ‘till the end.

I take another shot, but the burn doesn’t help any. It only adds to the fucking fire in my chest. I tried to kill her. I put her life at risk just to get information. I went over the limit of crazy, and became a fucking psycho. And there was a moment there, just one fucking moment, when I thought she was dead...and something happened...inside me.

I was scared.

For a brief second, I felt fear.

I lift the glass, and I fill it with more of the amber liquid before shooting it back. When the fuck did I end up here? I don’t have time to hate myself, and I certainly don’t have time to feel a tiny spark of emotion for someone who despises me. I close my eyes, and tighten my grip on the bottle in my hand.