Goddammit.

I can’t let them win.

CHAPTER FOUR

Jess

My wrists are bleeding, I’m exhausted, and there are no tears left; yet I’m still tugging. Still pulling my wrists with a desperation that is consuming me. The more I think about it, the more panicked I become. I tug and I tug, frantic to release myself. I can’t stay like this—if I do, I’ll go crazy. I can’t stand being restrained.

“If you pull those restraints again, I’ll flog you so hard you won’t walk.”

My foster father, Roger, used to make a point of tying me up. At the very thought of him, my body shudders. Nothing in the world could send me over the edge more than the thought of him. His cold hands. His smelly body. The way he used to take what wasn’t his. I was helpless, too small to fight. He made sure I couldn’t. These binds around my wrists only take me back to that dark place.

I’m glad he’s dead.

I hear the door creak, and I snap my head up to see Dimitri standing in the opening, staring at me. He has a crystal glass in his hand, filled with an amber liquid. He narrows his eyes when he sees the blood running down my wrists. With a curse, he puts his glass down and walks in, stopping beside the bed. He peers down at me, and I can see his dark eyes are heavy. He’s drunk.

My heart feels like it stops beating.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he rasps. “I’m not goin’ to rape you.”

I swallow and close my eyes, turning my head away. I feel him tug on my restraints, and a moment later, my wrists are free. I sob loudly, and as soon as my ankles are free, I roll to my side, tucking my knees to my chest.

“What happened to the girl with the fight?” he says, his voice husky. “What broke you?”

I move my gaze up so I’m looking at him. “I’ll never give you the things that break me, jackass.”

His eyes flash with anger, and his jaw tightens as he leans down and takes my shoulder, pulling me up. “We’re going to clean your wrists and then your nose.”

The way he says that tells me it’s not an option.

“I’d rather do my own nose. I’m a nurse and I trust myself more than I trust you,” I say, my voice determined.

He stares at me but he doesn’t argue.

As soon as I’m on my feet he takes me out of the room and down a few long halls until we reach a sitting room. There’s a fire going, and a light crackling sound fills the air. I shiver as he leads me over to a maroon settee and shoves me down onto the soft couch. I don’t move as I watch him walk over to a cupboard and pull out a small medical kit. He walks back over and sits in front of me, not meeting my gaze.

He reaches down and lifts my wrist, placing it in his big hands. I stare at him, just watching the way his hair drops over his face as he begins to dab the blood off my skin. I notice then the scars on his knuckles—there are a ton of them, all faded. I peer down and squint. He’s got light bruising too. Where did he get that? Does he fight a lot? I lift my eyes when I feel him stop cleaning, to see him staring at me. My cheeks heat and I turn away.

“You always stare at people like that?” he asks, beginning cleaning again.

“You always steal people?” I retort.

He snorts. “No, only when I need to.”

I shake my head. “You’re wasting your time.”

“What did I say to you earlier? Ain’t your business what I’m doin’.”

I fall silent and watch as he continues to clean my wrist. When he turns it over, and finds the deep gash I made, he growls. “What were you thinkin’? You could have killed yourself.”

“I don’t like being tied,” I say in a small voice.

“I can see that,” he grumbles. “But pulling and tugging ain’t gonna change it.”

“Maybe I wanted to make it hurt.”

He lifts his eyes, and stares hard at me. “Now why would you want to do that?”

“The pain is better than the memories.”

His stare holds mine for the longest moment, then he turns back to what he’s doing.

“You’re done. I won’t tie you again tonight, but if you smart-mouth me any further, I’m not sure I can keep my word on that.”

I don’t answer him, I just watch as he packs up his kit and stands. I slowly rise, utterly exhausted. I don’t have it in me to argue tonight. I just need to rest.

Dimitri finishes up and takes me back to my room. We don’t say anything else—what is there to say? I’m nothing more than a pawn in his twisted game and he’s nothing more to me than my captor. It’s better if we keep everything as a closed book.

The minute we get back to the room, he opens the door, pushes me inside, and closes it without so much as a peep. I sigh and turn. Not bothering to shower or change, I just flop onto the bed and roll on the soft comforter, pulling it with me until I’m wrapped like a cocoon. Then I close my eyes and everything quickly fades, taking me to a far happier place.

CHAPTER FIVE

Jess

The next morning comes like a bad cold. I open my eyes, remember where I am, and groan. I roll on the bed until I’m propped on my side. The moment I move, I feel my nose throbbing—I know it’s not broken, I’ve seen and felt many during my time as a nurse, but it sure as hell came close. I stare around the slowly brightening room. The sun hasn’t been up long, and I can hear birds chirping outside. I stare over at the bathroom door, and my heart pounds. I’ve been thinking about that spa in there and knowing I’d pretty much kill for an hour in it.