Hard to Break Page 42

I hear the sound of the main garage door opening.

I stand up and rush as quickly as I can over to it. My eyes widen when I see Tazen and my father standing in the entrance. Tazen has his hand on my father’s shoulder and he shoves him forward, not roughly but giving a clear message that he isn’t going to take any shit.

“Quinnie,” Dad whispers, his bottom lip trembling as his eyes scan over my face.

“Are you seeing this, Rob?” Tazen says in a hard tone. “Do you see her face?”

“Tazen,” I say.

His eyes dart to mine. “Quinn, you’re going to stop babying him right now and let him see what he’s become. If you love him, trust me, this is for the best.”

He’s right, somewhere down deep inside I know this. I have to stop feeling sorry for my dad. I have to stop feeling guilty for trying to move on with my life. It’s time I step up and make my dad get the help he needs, no matter what it takes.

“I’m so sorry, Quinn,” Dad rasps. “I wasn’t thinking. My head … it hurt so badly. I just needed a drink to take the edge off.”

I stare at him, and usually I’d forgive him, but I can’t until he takes responsibility for this. If I don’t let him, he’ll never change.

“You hurt me, Dad, and you scared me.”

His lip trembles again but I keep it together. “I didn’t mean…”

“That doesn’t matter,” I rasp, fighting back emotion. “It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean to, you did. You did and you need to admit how bad your alcoholism is and change. I can’t be your babysitter anymore, I can’t be your parent and I can’t keep picking up the pieces. If you love me, if you’re truly ashamed of what you did, then you’ll go and get help.”

His head drops and a tear runs down his cheek and drips off his nose. “I never … I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are,” I say, because it’s the truth. “But if you want to prove to me you’re willing to learn from this and change, then get the help you need.”

He looks up at me, then to Tazen. “This boy,” he begins. “He knows a place that I can go … get the help I need.”

I look to Tazen. “You do?”

He nods. “My dad was in there for a while.”

Tazen’s dad was an alcoholic. Our eyes meet and something sparks between us … it’s understanding.

“Did it help?” I ask hopefully.

Tazen shakes his head. “My uncle busted him out before they got the chance to make it work, but Rob is going to stay in there, aren’t you, Rob? It’s one of the best facilities in the country.”

My dad nods.

“I’ve given them a call. He is going straight down there. I’ve got him in a six-month program.”

“I don’t … how much does that cost?”

Tazen’s eyes soften. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

“Tazen…”

“You don’t,” he leans in closer, “need to worry about that.”

I swallow and nod weakly, so humbled by his help. He reaches out, capturing my hand. “Get your purse, baby. He needs you right about now.”

I do as he asks, and get my purse.

Then I take his hand and we take my dad to get the help he needs.

Finally.

*   *   *

Tazen and I take Dad to the rehab center. I’m still uncomfortable about the entire situation. I’m still upset and confused over what happened between Dad and me, but I’m also uncomfortable with the fact that Tazen is paying for it. I mean sure, we’ve got something solid between us but it is such a massive expense.

I would have found a way though, even if he didn’t. After what happened, I know this is the only place Dad can be now. I have a pain etched deep down in my heart at the thought of him being alone, but I no longer have a deep sense of guilt. He needs this place, and I need to figure out how to live my own life. I won’t sell his shack, I’ll clean it up with the money from the sale of the garage so when he gets out he has a place to live.

Me … I’m finding my own place.

It’s time for me to move on.

Dad tells Tazen and me that he doesn’t want us to take him inside, that he would rather do it alone. That hurts me, but I don’t argue. I don’t have it in me to argue. When he hugs me, I’m stiff as a board, but I manage to pat his back lamely. I don’t cry, in fact, I’m not sure I have any tears left. He hurt me, he stole something from me I’m not sure I’ll get back easily. I need time to process all of that.

“Good luck,” I say. It’s all I can say.

“I’m sorry, Quinnie,” he says on a whisper. “I’ll prove to you I want to change.”

I nod. “I hope so, Dad.”

I watch my father disappear inside the large building and then I turn to Tazen. I don’t know what my expression says, but it must say a lot because he reaches out and cups my jaw in his hands. He steps closer, treating me as if I’m china and I’m about to break. “Are you doin’ okay there, angel?”

I look up into his eyes. “It’s the best thing for him.”

“That isn’t what I asked.”

I look away, but he tilts my head so I’m forced to meet his eyes again. “I’ll be okay, Tazen.”

“Are we going to have problems with me doing this?”

I sigh. “I can’t let you pay for something like that … we’re together, yes, but … that’s a lot of money.”

I hesitate and he jumps in.

“I’m going to tell you something, and I want you to pay attention because I won’t say it again. First, I make more money than you could begin to imagine, so the expense for this is nothing to me and it’s the least I can do after buying out the garage.”

My heart swells. It swells and explodes.

“Second,” he goes on. “I’ve been in your situation, angel. You might not know it looking at me, but I know how it feels to live in a difficult situation…”

Now my interest is piqued, but I say nothing and let him continue.

“Third.” He leans in close, pulling me to him. “I’ve had a lot of women but none of them have managed to get under my skin the way you have. You drive me batshit crazy and make me feel fucking incredible all at the same time. I don’t know if we’ll go far, I don’t know if it’ll last, but I hope to god it does because you’re changing me. I need that to be enough for you right now. I need you to let me help.”

Something beautiful and warm explodes in my chest, something that coats all the ugly and makes me feel something I haven’t felt in my entire life … joy. Pure, unadulterated joy. And I want more of it. I want as much as I can take. So, with a smile, I say the only thing I can, “Tazen Watts … are you officially asking me to go steady?”

He bursts out laughing.

I think that’s a yes.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

It’s been two weeks since Dad went in and started his long road to recovery. He hasn’t called me. The nurses and doctors have informed me that the first four days were agony, but he’s slowly getting better with each passing day, but it’s still a long process that requires a lot of work. I’m glad that he’s getting through. I’ll call and visit him as soon as I can, but we both need this time.