I did it.

Happiness swells in my chest and when I turn towards Tyke, he’s beaming. He winks at me and I turn back to the waitress with a smile bigger than any smile I’ve ever given.

“Any drinks?”

I lose my smile and panic fills my chest. I didn’t think about drinks. I didn’t even look at the drink menu. I turn to Tyke, panic in my eyes and he stands, coming around to sit beside me. The waitress watches curiously, but I know she can’t hear when he leans into my ear and whispers, “Calm down, baby. Just tell her to wait a moment while you decide.”

I nod frantically and turn to the waitress, “Please just wait while I . . .” My voice trails off. “While I . . . ah . . .” Oh God, I can’t do it. “While I . . .”

“We haven’t decided,” Tyke adds. “Put the food order in and come back.”

The waitress nods, staring at me as if I’m a freak.

Fucking freak.

My bottom lip trembles.

“Hey,” Tyke says, grabbing my hand. “Look at me.”

“I’m a freak,” I whisper. “A f . . . f . . . f . . . fucking freak.”

“What did you just say?” Tyke breathes.

“That’s what they all think. That’s what they all say about me. Freak. I’m a freak.”

“Jesus, fuck,” he mutters, and then puts an arm around my body, pulling my chair closer. “You listen to me, and you listen good. You are not a freak. You are a girl who has had things happen to her that most normal people couldn’t handle. You’ve been starved of the outside world for a long time, and coming back in is scary. The people that think that of you, Pippa, they’re the freaks.”

“Artreau called me that, because I was so afraid of him . . . and then Liam the other night . . .”

“That piece of shit. I knew I should have wiped him out.”

I jerk and look up at Tyke with wide eyes. “You wouldn’t . . . you wouldn’t . . .”

“Hush,” he murmurs, capturing my face in his hand. “What I do is of no worry to you. What he said, Pippa, was wrong. He was trying to take advantage of a frightened girl—tell me honestly, who do you think had the problems there? You would have reacted the same way any girl would have.”

“No,” I say, looking down at his throat. “Most girls would have fought back, maybe hit him. I just sat there, frozen in place, terrified.”

“Then we’re going to teach you how to fight. I promise you, little one, we’re going to fix this. All of it.”

“Are you ready to get your drinks?”

We both turn to see the waitress standing at our table again.

“You can do this, baby,” Tyke whispers into my ear, making me break out into a thousand little shivers.

I take a deep, shaky breath. Only I can change my life. Only I can change my life. Only I can change my life.

“I’d like two iced teas, please.”

I did it.

Tyke squeezes my hand and a huge smile breaks out on my face.

Only I can change my life.

CHAPTER NINE

THEN – Pippa

My legs tremble as the guard leads me down the long hall to Artreau’s room. Vomit rises and falls in my throat, burning a path right up my already raw passage. I have to force my feet to move step by step, praying they won’t give out and cause me to fall to the floor in a heap.

The guard shoves me forward and I stumble a few times, shrinking into myself with fear. As we reach Artreau’s door, I swallow over and over to stop the vomit in my throat from exploding all over the surface. The guard bangs twice and then stands back, waiting. A moment later, the door opens and Artreau’s eyes widen before a slow smirk appears on his face.

“I wondered when I’d hear from you.”

I flinch and yell, “What the hell is wrong with you? How could you do that to him? What sort of monster—”

Artreau cuts me off by grabbing my arm and hauling me forward. The guard lets me go. In fact, he looks almost bored as he mutters, “Call me when you want me to take her back.”

“Oh, I’ll be busy for a good long time with her.” Artreau smirks, slamming the door shut.

He doesn’t let me go as he walks me towards his sofa. I’ve never been in his room, but I’d always imagined it would be massive. I’m right. It’s huge. Half is set up as an office, with a mahogany desk, large plush carpets and bookshelves lining the wall. The other half is a bedroom, with a massive king sleigh bed and a soft looking sofa.

Artreau shoves me down on the sofa. I’m right, it’s soft.

“Now, you were saying?” he continues.

“Are you serious?” I whisper. “How could you do that to him?”

Artreau shrugs. “He made me a deal—that was my side of it. He made the choice to say yes.”

“He was helping me!” I scream.

“Again,” Artreau says coolly, “it was his choice.”

“You’re a goddamned monster. How would you like it if someone did something so . . . so . . . horrible to you?”

He leans down close, sneering at me. “I wouldn’t be so stupid as to let someone do that to me.”

“You can’t leave him like that. He’ll die!”

He shrugs, looking bored. “Next question?”

I want to scream and stab him, and hurt him in anyway I can possibly can. “He needs medical assistance. What . . .” I swallow and close my eyes. I have to do this for Rainer. “What do I have to do to get that for him?”