He stares down at my hard nipples, and then looks back up at me, his green eyes so dark and piercing my heart skips a beat. “You want me to put them in my mouth, darlin’?”

“Yes,” I rasp.

He gives me a lazy half grin, before lowering his head and capturing my nipple in his mouth. I cry out, gripping his arms and thrusting my pelvis up until my pussy is rubbing against his erection. His skin is soft there, even though he’s hard, he’s also silky smooth. He moans deeply, and it vibrates through my nipple. He sucks and licks one, before moving to the other. By the time he’s finished, my body is pulsing for him once more.

“You ready for this?” he says, letting his eyes search my face, as if wanting to see if I’m sure.

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“Goin’ to hurt, baby.”

“I know.”

“What I gave you then, that was the good part.”

I grip his face. “I know.”

“You on protection?”

“No,” I whisper.

He nods, and pulls back, leaning over to grip a condom from his bedside table. He tears the packet with his teeth, and rolls it over his erection. I watch, feeling lust rush through my body. His eyes are on me, the entire time he rolls that damned yellow condom over that damned gorgeous erection. When he’s finished, he moves back over my body.

“You want it quick, or slow?”

I feel the nerves in my stomach begin to flutter about. I try to remember how it felt back then. I know it hurt. I know it was hard and quick. I don’t know if that’s the best way, or the worst. “I-I...don’t know.”

He runs his fingers over my cheek. “I’ve been with enough women in my time, to know what hurts and what doesn’t. I’m goin’ to go easy on you, but you need to trust me, ok?”

“I do,” I whisper, and I meant it.

I trusted him.

He nods, and presses his lips gently against mine, while using one hand to encourage my leg up around his hip. I do the same with the other one, opening myself as much as possible for him. I feel him at my entrance, but he doesn’t push for a long while, he just kisses me gently, softly, making my heart hurt.

Then he pushes in, and everything stops feeling nice. I whimper loudly as he stretches me, and a burning pain fills the lower half of my body. All the books, and shows that make the first few times out to be pleasurable moments for a woman, were lying. It hurts. That’s just fact. It can be beautiful, but that doesn’t change reality. It hurts.

Jackson pushes his hips in further, smothering a groan into my shoulder. I feel tears prick my eyelids as my body tries to accommodate him. I’m sure it didn’t feel like this the first time. I bite my lip, stopping the whimper as I shift to try and open myself more to him. He stops moving, and looks down at me, his eyes concerned.

“Hurting baby?”

I nod, still biting my lip.

“You want me to stop?”

I shake my head.

“Are you sure...”

I cut him off by thrusting my hips upwards, forcing his erection to slide the entire way in. My mouth opens in a rush of pain, and I lay like that, almost gaping, making a strange, pained sound.

“Stupid girl,” he whispers, kissing my cheeks to try and soothe me. “Stupid, stupid girl.”

I whimper, and tears slide down my face. It hurts. Will it always be like this? It’s not like it’s my first time, ok, it might as well be, but still. Jackson goes to pull out, but I grip his shoulders. Pain or not, I want this with him. I want him so badly. I don’t want him to pull away.

“No,” I cry. “Please.”

“Hush,” he soothes. “Hush darlin’.”

“Please,” I whimper. “I want you. I want it to be you.”

“Feel fuckin’ guilty movin’,” he murmurs.

I take a deep breath, and jerk my hips again. A ragged groan escapes his lips.

“Stop doin’ that baby, I’ll come so fuckin’ hard we won’t get anywhere.”

It feels nice for him? Even though he’s not moving?

“Y-y-you like it?”

He lifts his head, giving me a confused look. “Are you fuckin’ kidding? You’re so fuckin’ tight your squeezing my cock, milking it even though I’m not moving. I want to come so bad, it’s taking everything for me to hold it back.”

That’s enough for me, in a husky voice, I rasp, “Move, Jackson.”

He doesn’t argue, gently he pulls back, before slowly pushing back in. It hurts, a lot, but the second time he does it; the pain eases just a touch. By the fifth thrust, I’m clinging to him, enjoying the little sensations rocking through my body. It’s not enough to come, I know that, but it feels nice. I feel full, overwhelmed by the body moving in and out of mine, but mostly I am tingling all over at the soft sounds of him enjoying my body.

“Fuck, darlin’, I ain’t never felt the need to come so hard...”

I whimper. “Please do, oh...please.”

Call me crazy, but the idea of watching a man come just using my body, is enough to make it come alive. Right now every nerve ending is on full alert, and my eyes are glued to Jackson’s face. His jaw is tight, his eyes a little hazy, and his skin is glistening just beautifully. His hard body is moving over mine, not fast, not slow, but the perfect in between. He’s no longer hurting me.

“Going to...now,” he grinds out. “Baby now.”