What the hell am I going to do?

CHAPTER 2

JACKSON

“That was odd,” Addison says, tucking herself beside Cade on the couch.

I am still staring at the stairs, wondering what the hell is the go with Serenity? Something is not quite right about her. Granted, her own father beats her, but it’s something more than that. I just can’t put my finger on it. The girl is like a tiny, broken pixie. How anyone could lay a hand on her is beyond me. I turn to my daughter, and meet her confused expression.

“No idea,” I say, grabbing another slice of pizza and slumping back into the chair. “But she’s got some history...I’ve seen damaged girls in my time, and I can tell you now, she’s damaged.”

“Yeah,” Addison says, frowning. “I just wish we could help her out of it.”

“Can’t save everyone, sugar,” Cade says gently, giving her a look.

“I know, but she looks so afraid, like someone is just going to come in and blow her to pieces.”

“She’s been recently beaten,” I say between mouthfuls. “It makes sense she’s scared, kid.”

“I know daddy, but it seems like so much more.”

Daddy. Fuckin’ girl kills me when she calls me daddy. Fuck. Fuck. I want to wrap her up and never let go. Best day of my life when she walked back into it.

“Yo’!”

We all turn to see Spike and Ciara coming through the door. Jesus, can’t a man get some peace and quiet? I come home for quiet time, but the shits find me and make themselves at home. Sometimes stayin’ at the compound seems like the better option. Spike has a six pack in his fingers, and Ciara is rubbing her belly protectively.

“Spike, to what do we owe this tremendous pleasure?” I say in a monotone voice.

He smirks at me, before coming in and making himself at home on the couch. Ciara slips in beside him, wrapping herself around him in much the same way Addison did to Cade. My heart tightens, and I fucking hate it. I hate that I feel so fucking lonely sometimes. I’m coming on forty this year, and I go to bed every night alone. Occasionally I fuck a random woman, or share with some of the MC’s, but more often than not, I am just alone.

“How’s Serenity?” Ciara asks.

I shrug. “Ask Addison.”

She turns to Addison, who shrugs too. “She’s ok, quiet, but ok...I think.”

“She said much about where she’s from?”

Addi shakes her head. “Not a great deal of info coming from her.”

Ciara nods. “Yeah, well, she’s probably scared. Though I did figure out something was off with her when she first came in.”

“How so?” I ask, taking a sip of beer.

“She didn’t seem scared, like the compound didn’t frighten her at all. Most women would be petrified. She wasn’t.”

“So she’s lived around some serious bad asses?” Addison murmurs. “That explains a lot.”

“Yeah, but I wonder who?” Ciara adds, pursing her lips.

“Ain’t our business,” I point out. “We’re just here to help get her better so she can find a way to get back on her feet.”

“So boss,” Spike says, cutting us off. “Heard anything since the blow out?”

I shake my head. “As far as I know, they don’t know it was us. Hogan is dead.”

“We sure of that?” Cade asks, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

“I’ve got someone on it, we should hear for sure soon.”

Spike nods. “Hopefully it’s all fuckin’ over.”

“Yeah, I’m getting too fuckin’ old for this shit.”

Addison snorts, and I give her a glare. “What?”

“You’re like...forty.”

“Yeah, as I said, fuckin’ old.”

“Father, you’re not old, just well-seasoned.”

Spike snorts his beer, and Cade bursts out laughing. I give Addison a wicked grin. “You’re lucky you’re too old to have your ass spanked, girl.”

She flashes me an award winning smile. “You wouldn’t smack me, I’m too sweet.”

Ciara laughs, standing. “Come on Addi,” she giggles. “Let’s go talk babies and let these guys grunt and bang each other’s chests.”

“Careful, Tom Cat,” Spike grins, slapping her ass as she walks past.

Jesus.

It never ends.

~*~

SERENITY

I can’t breathe, his fingers are around my throat and I’m thrashing, but I can’t escape it. I want to escape, but I can’t. He’s too strong, too big, and too powerful. His body is crushing mine against the wall, and I’m squirming to get away. My body tingles, and my heart thumps as all the oxygen is squeezed from my body. I’m going to die, this is it for me. It’s over with. I’m dead. Part of me is relieved, I’m so tired of fighting, but part of me wants to fight.  I realize just as the last of my breath leaves my body, that I don’t want to die. I should have picked to fight.

“What the fuck, wake up!”

I slowly come to, my eyes are hazy. It takes me a moment to realize it was a dream, and I’m now waking up. I see Jackson leaning over me, shirtless, hair flowing around his shoulders, looking like a dark angel.

“Hey, you with me?”

I’m panting, and my body is covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

“I...what?”