I nod, knowing this is hard for him, but also knowing I have to do it. “I understand.”

“Let’s get goin’, we don’t have much time left.”

I turn to Ebony and Janine, who are standing, watching me. Janine managed to get the bomb in without problems. She said Derek didn’t even notice she was back. He was busy fucking some other woman. That sparked her determination. I hurry over, wrapping my arms around the both of them, hoping we all come home safely from this.

“I love you two!”

“Be safe,” Janine whispers. “Please.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Take this,” she says, staring around quickly before slipping a gun out of her pants.

“Where did you get this?” I whisper harshly.

“I stole it from Derek.”

I shake my head, putting my hands up. “I won’t need it.”

She meets my eyes, hers full of concern. “You never know, it’s not worth the risk.”

“Come on, Serenity,” Jackson yells.

“I love you!” I whisper, taking the gun and tucking it into my pants. “I’ll be back soon.”

She nods, her face concerned. I blow her a kiss before turning and rushing out.

~*~

The drive to my old home town is long, around about two hours. We all sit quietly - Jackson, Spike, Muff, Cade, Granger, and I. I know we’re all worried, and thinking that if this doesn’t work, there’s going to be a war on our hands. We don’t have much choice though. We need to finish this, or we’re never going to live safely. Hogan won’t just give up. He will destroy everyone that gets in his path.

Just before we arrive in town, my phone rings. I glance down at the screen and see it’s Hogan. My heart skitters. What the hell is he trying to ring me for? I haven’t heard from him since the shooting that day, well, at least I think I haven’t. I have had my phone off, today is the first time I’ve turned it back on, and it was only in case we needed it.

“He’s trying to ring me,” I whisper to Jackson.

“Answer it,” he says. “Feel him out. Tell him we figured you out, and are holding you hostage.”

I nod, swallowing, and I answer the phone.

“H-hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” he bellows. “I’ve been fuckin’ tryin’ to ring for days.”

“I had to find my phone...they figured out who I am. They’re holding me hostage to use against you.”

He snorts loudly. “Stupid mother fuckers, they’re goin’ to die, and so are you. I don’t give a fuck if they kill you, how’s about you tell them that.”

It doesn’t matter how much you hate your father, or how much you know he hates you, it hurts like hell when the one who is supposed to love you, tells you he couldn’t care less if you died.

“What are you going to do?” I whisper.

“None of your fuckin’ concern, I don’t trust you. You’re a fuckin’ snake; I should have killed you when I had the chance. I hope those fuckers make it hurt; maybe they’ll rape you until you fuckin’ bleed, and then kill you.”

“You’ll regret that!” I suddenly scream, losing my cool and my level head. “You piece of shit. I hope you burn in hell for all the bad things you’ve done! I hate you! I fucking hate you!”

“Stupid fuckin’...”

Jackson snatches the phone from me and hangs up. I jerk my head towards the window, and begin panting. I can’t look at him right now; I can’t look at any of them. I’m so angry. So hurt.

“Serenity, baby, that was fuckin’ dumb.”

I don’t answer him; I just focus on trying to control my shaking.

“Baby...”

“Make it hurt,” I rasp. “Make it fucking hurt, Jackson.”

Everyone falls silent.

But we’re all thinking the same thing...

I hope this doesn’t fuck me up forever.

~*~

SERENITY

“You shouldn’t go closer,” I whisper to Jackson as we come to a stop at the hiding point, and get out.

“We might need to,” he says. “I can’t be sure it’ll work from here.”

“Here boss,” Cade says, tossing Jackson some binoculars.

Jackson takes them, and presses them to his eyes. “They’re all goin’ in, I can see them.”

“How many?” Spike asks.

“At least sixty.”

“Exactly what we want,” he rasps.

I know what this means to Spike, Ciara told me what he’s been through, and how desperately he needs his peace. I hope he gets it, god, I hope I get it.

“You need to go now, Serenity,” Jackson orders.

“But...”

He spins to me, his eyes hard. “It’s not a fuckin’ option.”

“Jackson...”

“Now!” he barks.

I nod, giving him a hurt expression. I know the rules, and there’s no point in arguing. I turn, and begin walking towards the car.

“Granger will follow!” Jackson yells. “Serenity? Are you listening to me?”

I don’t turn. I’m hurt. He’s taking this from me, and maybe I should have explained that to him, but there’s no point. I feel a hand wrap around my arm, and spin me around. Jackson stares down at me, his eyes impatient.

“It isn’t safe for you here, and I gotta do what’s best for you. Even if you don’t like it.”