Heaven's Sinners Page 37
“Cheyenne is dead!” she cries. “Dead, because of you and that idiot biker. Now I have to live without her. I can never hold her babies. That was my grandchild inside of her, and now he or she is dead, too. I don’t care about your studies, Ciara. You have the chance to do whatever you want, Cheyenne doesn’t. So go and do it!”
It hurts when your own mother has lost her love for you. It hurts because it’s something that can’t be changed. I was always second to Cheyenne, but now it’s just like I’m in her way.
My father doesn’t speak to me. He just lives in his office. I’m tired of feeling like this all the time. They hate me, and they aren’t going to help me get to where I need to go. This one, I’m going to have to do on my own. I turn to my mother, and meet her puffy gaze. She sniffles, and swipes her fingers under her nose.
“I’m tired of this. It’s clear to me you couldn’t care less about what happens to me, so I’m going to leave. I’ll go and find my own way, because I’m tired of living in Cheyenne’s shadow, when she’s not even alive.”
My mother stands and slaps me so hard I see stars. I grip my cheek, fighting back the hurt and anger.
“How dare you? You always were jealous of her! I can’t believe you would speak about her like that. She loved you, and this is how you honor her memory?”
“She loved herself!” I scream. “She didn’t love me, and neither do you.”
“Don’t be so stupid. I do love you, but I’m not going to coddle you and make you feel better about something that is your doing.”
“How is it my doing?” I cry, trembling. “She threw herself at Danny, it was her choice!”
“I don’t believe that for a second! Not a second! She fell in love with a lie, and got herself trapped. She wanted out. She didn’t want to be there. She told me so. She just couldn’t leave because he got her pregnant.”
“You are so naive!” I screech. “She wanted to be there. She wanted his body over hers, every night. She wanted his baby. She wanted him!”
“You shut your mouth,” she hisses. “That is your sister you’re talking about.”
“And she’s dead!” I scream so loudly I scare myself. “She’s dead, and she’s not coming back. It’s not my fault. She was the one who opened her filthy legs for Danny, and she was the one who made sure he married her. She made her own choices!”
She slaps me again. Now tears are thundering down her cheeks. “You always were so selfish, Ciara. Get out of my house.”
“Gladly,” I spit.
I turn on my heel, and with shaky legs I walk to my room. I pack what little things I own, and ring a cab. As I’m walking down the hall, I stop at Cheyenne’s door and peer into her old room. My heart hurts for my sister, because she didn’t deserved to die. I’ll always love her deep down in my soul, but I can’t help that I will always hate her, too. She knew what she was doing, every step of the way, and she made a point of shoving my face in it. Now she’s gone, and no one wants to hear of it. My parents hate me. Danny hates me. My world has turned upside down, and for what? For befriending someone who changed everyone’s lives. I peer around the room one last time, and before I leave, I whisper one, simple sentence and I mean it. Oh, I mean it.
“Fuck you, Cheyenne.”
~*~*~*~*~
PRESENT - CIARA
I giggle and twirl, letting my hair flow around me. Spike is sitting on my bed, watching me with an amused expression. I’m still tipsy, and having a great time. Spike has been drinking with me for the last hour and we’ve both stop caring about anything else but this moment.
“You need to stop drinkin’, yeah?” Spike grins.
“Later, babe.”
He chuckles. “Since when do you call me babe?”
“Since now.”
He wraps his fingers around the top of the bottle, and begins a gentle stroking, running his finger around the tip. I lick my lips and stop dancing, suddenly getting the urge to forget the drinking and make use of the hot biker sitting in front of me fucking my bottle with his fingers. God, I want those fingers inside me, deep and hard. I shudder, and Spike’s gaze grows lazy.
“Somethin’ you wanna say, baby?”
I drop to my knees, and begin crawling toward him, full of determination. I stop in front of him, lifting my hands and placing them on his jean clad legs. I shove gently, spreading his thighs until I can shuffle between them. He makes a growling sound and looks down at me, his dark eyes hooded.
“What’re you doin’, Tom Cat?”
“Something I’ve so desperately wanted to do...” I husk, gripping his belt and unbuckling it.
“Baby, don’t wanna just fuck you and make you think that’s all I’m here for...”
“But Spike,” I purr, looking up at him. “I wanna be fucked.”
“Fuck, Ciara,” he rasps. “You’re makin’ my cock hard.”
Oh God. My pussy clenches so hard I have to rub my thighs together to stop myself from exploding with need. Spike reaches down, gripping either side of my face with his big, heavy hands. I peer up at him, still running my fingers over the buckle of his belt.
“Tell me what it is you want to do...”
I lick my lips, and look him dead in the eye. “I want to take your spikes out.”
His chest rumbles, and he reaches around, running his thumb over my bottom lip. “Fuck yeah, Tom Cat.”