“Excuse me?” I whisper, shaking my head in confusion.

“What. Are. The. Rules?”

I blink, and feel my lip beginning to tremble. “She made a mistake.”

“What are the rules?” he roars, slamming his fist down onto a table.

“If you’re bad, you’re punished,” I say, almost as if I’m a robot. “If you’re good, you’re rewarded.”

“It’s a simple rule,” he growls, his voice low and throaty. “It’s not hard. I give you girls the best if you behave, and if you don’t, then you’re punished. It’s been made very clear. Your friend knew this; she still made the choice to do what she did. That is her decision. It isn’t mine. She made the choice, she put herself there. Do you think I enjoy carrying out punishments?”

“Yes,” I say, without hesitation.

His head snaps up, and he glares at me again. “You’ll never get it, will you? You just can’t see what I’m trying to do here.”

“What you’re trying to do,” I hiss, “is take away our freedom!”

“You never had any freedom!” he barks, clenching his fists.

“We wouldn’t know. You don’t let us remember.”

“Goddammit,” he mutters under his breath, before lifting his head and barking, “Bill!”

Bill is in the room in a second. “Yes sir?”

“Get her out. Don’t give her the reward.”

“What?” I cry. “You were going to reward me?”

He doesn’t look at me when he speaks. “Goodnight, Number Thirteen.”

“You can’t do it, can you? You just can’t look at me a s lo he nd answer my questions! You can’t man up and be honest about what’s really going down here. This isn’t even about us; this is about you. You’re the fucked up one here, William.”

He doesn’t say anything, just disappears into the darkness. Bill takes my arm and pulls me out, shoving me down the halls until we reach our room.

The other girls are in bed when I get in, but I don’t want to talk to them anyway. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone. I feel worn and broken down, like fighting this is pointless. I crawl into my bed and roll, facing the wall, not looking at any of them.

I am losing my fight. And when that’s gone, I’ll be no better than Number Three.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

NUMBER THREE  I rock backwards and forwards, flashes of memory flooding my mind. I don’t want to be here. I’m tired of fighting. They won’t let me remember who I am, but they’re giving me enough to know that what I used to be was bad. I see a woman putting her hands on me. I always imagined it was a man who assaulted an innocent female, not a woman. Women are meant to be gentle, and kind. They’re not meant to be the ones who steal our innocence. She did steal mine, though—and I don’t even know her name. I wrap my arms around my legs further, and I try to cry. Crying is meant to help, but I have no tears left. I feel empty, like there are no emotions left in my body, as if I’ve been stripped bare. I don’t have any fight left; in fact, I wonder if I had any to begin with, or did I just come into this broken. I lift my eyes and stare at the empty walls, and I realize this is likely going to be the rest of my life. Who is going to save a damaged girl? A disgusting girl with no name? I don’t want to feel anymore. I don’t want sunshine, and I don’t want rain. I just want darkness that takes away everything that’s eating me away inside. I cannot be some man’s slave, and I cannot be strong enough to be there for all those others girls who need my support. They need a link that’s not weak; they need one that will hold their hands and fight alongside of them. It isn’t me. It never will be. I just want to be free.

We don’t see Number Three for two whole days, and we don’t hear from Master William. By the time Number Three gets back, we’re all beside ourselves with worry. We have no idea what he did to her. She comes into the room with Bill, and she walks right into the shower, not looking at any of us. Number Seven asks her if she’s okay, but she acts as if she can’t even hear her.

It scares me.

We’re sent out onto garden duty before she gets out of the shower. Our group is helping group one, and we’re to set up the gardens for the summer, making sure everything is arranged nicely, and all the flowers are perfectly trimmed. The sun is high and warm in the sky today, and sweat trickles down my skin as I drive the spade into the soil over and over again, trying to dislodge a weed.

I can’t stop thinking about Number Three. What happened to her? Is she okay? Is she going to be okay? What did they say to her in there? Did they finally break her down, or did they vlliame, and Ijust make it worse? My worry for her intensifies as I wait for her to come out, but as the time ticks on, I wonder what’s going on. It doesn’t take that long to shower, and Bill wouldn’t just let her sit and do nothing.

“It’s not a wise move,” I hear someone yell suddenly, cutting through my worrying.

I lift my head, and what I see has all the blood rushing from my body. My entire body prickles as I stare up at the roof, where Number Three is standing. No...she wouldn’t...she wouldn’t give up now. Maybe it’s not what it looks like. I get to my feet quickly, and run over towards her. The other girls are already up and following me. The guards are standing on the roof with her, their faces concerned. They have their arms stretched out.