“Nate . . .”

“Just for a second,” he says, his voice low and pained. “I want to stop feeling this pain. Is it so much to fuckin’ ask for one second?”

Tears leak from my eyes as I stare up into his. I want him so desperately, but I know I can’t. I have to go. I have to leave.

“Nathaniel?”

The sound of a male voice causes him to stiffen and turn. There’s an older man standing at the end of the trucks. He doesn’t even notice me as he steps forward. “What the fuck was that out there?”

“Nothin’,” Nate growls.

I take a step back and Nate’s hand drops from my neck. I have to leave. I have to go.

“That’s the second race you’ve fucked up,” the man barks. “It’s not good enough.”

“You think I don’t fuckin’ know that?” Nate roars.

“Then try harder.”

Another step. Then another.

“Get your shit together, Nate,” he snarls. “Or you’ll have no fuckin’ career.”

He turns and walks off, and Nate spins around, driving his fist into the side of the truck again. I want to run, but seeing him pounding the hard metal, causing more blood to appear on his knuckles, has everything in me aching. I can’t leave him like this. I rush forward when his fist rears back, and I curl my fingers around his arm. He flinches and looks down at me, his eyes wild, his body heaving with each ragged breath he takes.

“Stop. You’re scaring me,” I whisper.

“Scaring you?” he barks, spinning around and lifting my tiny body off the ground before slamming me against the truck. “Scaring you? I wish to fucking God I scared you, Avery. Because then maybe you wouldn’t look at me with that kind of fuckin’ love in your eyes. The kind of love I can’t get out of my head.”

My lower lip trembles as I look up at him, terrified, broken, and desperate.

“L-l-let me go, Nate,” I say, my voice small and trembling.

“So you can run? So you can pretend seeing me hasn’t fucked you as much as it has me?”

“Just let me go,” I cry, squirming. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to . . .”

“Liar,” he roars. “Don’t you lie to me, Avery. You want this as much as I do; you always did. Admit it. Admit it fuckin’ burns.”

“It does burn,” I scream, squirming harder. “I can’t survive without you, but you gave me no choice. You fucking promised me, and you gave me no choice. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to breathe without you. I just want you, because I fucking love you. I know how much it burns.”

Suddenly, his lips are on mine. I don’t even see it coming. His tongue is brutal as he parts my mouth, and I can’t even begin to fight him away. I don’t want to. I need him, every large, muscled, perfect inch of him. His fingers tangle in my hair and he jerks my head back, deepening the kiss. It’s so hard, so raw, so desperate that I taste blood in my mouth. God. Yes.

Everything moves so fast, so fast I don’t have time to stop and think about it. His hands are on my backside, pressing me against the side of the truck, and then he’s yanking my dress up. He tears my panties clean off, tossing them on the ground before reaching down between us and jerking his jeans down. Then he’s inside me, deep and hard with no warning.

I cry out, clutching his arms.

He pulls out and drives back in, fucking me hard and fast. He’s grunting against my mouth, his fingers are biting into the flesh on my ass and my pussy is convulsing around him. He fucks me like this is our last day on earth, as if he’ll never see me again. Maybe he won’t. Maybe that’s reality. I cry out his name when he tilts my hips, driving in so deep it almost hurts. But he finds that spot—that amazing, sensitive spot.

“Oh God,” I cry. “Nate.”

He growls against my neck as I begin to come around him, my orgasm ripping through me like a hurricane, sending me over the edge. I don’t care who hears or who sees—I let myself go, I let every feeling in. He follows soon after, growling his release into my mouth as he slams his lips over mine again. His cock jerks as he empties himself into my aching flesh.

Then I’m on the ground and he’s pulling out, taking a few steps backwards and running his hands through his hair. I can see regret and my heart tears apart all over again. “Fuck,” he roars, jerking his jeans up. “Fuck.”

“Nate, I . . .” I whisper.

He spins and glares at me, so angry, so wild, that I flinch. Why is he mad at me? He kissed me. I coil backwards and my entire body shakes as I see that all too familiar regret in his eyes.

“Don’t you ever, ever fuckin’ come near me again. Do you hear me, Avery? Leave. Leave me the fuck alone.”

His words are like a slap to the face. I watch, my entire body numb as he disappears, leaving me alone. I slowly crumble to my knees, my fingers running through the fresh dirt on the ground as I break. I finally break. I scream his name, clawing at the ground, desperate and pathetic. Alone and used.

He said he I wasn’t a toy—he was wrong.

That’s all I am.

~*~*~*~

NATE

What have I done? What have I fuckin’ done?

I fucked her and then I watched as I ripped her heart out a second time.

I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her.

I don’t deserve anything.

CHAPTER 31