“I’m going to kiss you again.”

I nodded, my body weightless as the pills swam inside my veins. His lips were against mine again, moving but no words being spoken. I mimicked his movements, pushing my mouth back against his, my chest rising and falling rapidly, my bare br**sts brushing against the hot skin of his chest.

He panted, his tongue running over the seam of my lips, and I let my mouth fall open as his body sagged lower, nearly against mine. He groaned, and I could feel his body tense as he struggled to go slow.

I heard the latch of the door spring open, and I tried to turn to see who had entered, but Colin grabbed my chin with his arm farthest from the door, his body coming down on mine as he only held himself on one elbow.

I whimpered into his mouth as I felt his hard length against me. Knowing that we were being watched made my stomach turn.

Colin felt my hesitation, and he mumbled against my mouth, “It’s just us. Just us. Only us, little one.”

I pressed my mouth back against his, my hands on his chest. I slid them up over his collarbone and held on to his muscular shoulders as his hips slowly pressed harder against mine, but he held back as if he didn’t trust himself.

I nodded against his mouth, and he repeated the action. I knew he would have to move more than he was to make it look like we were actually having sex, but he was more concerned with my comfort.

I rocked my hips back against his, and he inhaled a sharp breath before his kisses grew harder. My fingers slid to the back of his neck into his short dark hair, and he groaned, rocking against me again. The sound of the door clicking again as our unwanted guest left barely registered as I rolled my hips again, warmth spreading throughout me, stemming from where we touched. He pulled his mouth from mine, and my eyes slowly opened, searching his, hooded from lust and drugs. His fingers dug hard into the flesh over my shoulder, and his jaw was clenched.

“Please don’t move, Annie. I’m not going to be able to stop myself.” Slowly he pulled his body from mine, shaking his head. He sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers fisted in his hair. I sat up, the sheet pulled over my chest, and I slowly reached out to touch his shoulder. He jerked away from my touch, his eyes wild with anger. “Don’t…please don’t…”

Chapter 20 - Jacob

I dipped my spoon in my mac and cheese as my dad buttoned up his black work shirt. He grabbed his gun from the counter and slid it into the holster on his hip before pulling his cap on his head, his eyes on me questioningly.

“You think I could stay home? I could clean up this shithole.” I was willing to say anything to get out of having to go to class, but we both knew I wouldn’t follow through.

“You have school today, Jake.”

“It’s one day, and it’s not like I’m going to miss anything. These f**king idiots know less than I do about history. It’s a f**king travesty is what it is. You should call our congressman, or at the very least write a strongly worded letter. Who’s that news anchor with the nice tits?” I ran my fingers through my chestnut hair in an attempt to tame it. I was overdue for a haircut, but I hadn’t had any complaints from the girls at school.

My dad sighed and shook his head. “If your mother was alive…”

“Forget it.” I cut him off as I pushed back my chair to stand. “I’ll go to school and become another mindless f**king drone.” I grabbed my bowl and tossed it into the sink, causing it to clatter loudly against the mountain of unwashed dishes, another sign of my mother’s absence. As I retreated back to the hallway, I heard the front door creak open and then close, and I knew I was finally alone.

My mother had died nearly a year ago, but I still didn’t believe she was really gone. Things between my father and me were strained at best. I used to look up to him, couldn’t wait to be him. Now I couldn’t wait to get away from him. He didn’t care like I did. My mother deserved better.

I pulled on my sneakers and glanced out the bedroom window. I stood frozen, lost in thought and still half-baked from my morning high as I watched the large yellow school bus pull up at the curb down the dirt road that led to our house. My gaze flicked to movement in the wheat field as the bus pulled off without me on it. I narrowed my eyes at what at first glance looked like an animal, and then I realized it was a person. I turned and hurried from the room and down the stairs, nearly falling a few steps from the bottom. The screen door slammed loudly behind me as I took off across the field toward Annie. Her long blond hair swirled around her as a breeze picked up.

“Hey,” I called out as I got closer. She was walking through the honey-colored wheat, and her face snapped up to meet my gaze, but she didn’t say anything. I slowed to a walk, eyeing her cautiously as I approached. She looked out of it like she was in some sort of drug-induced trance. “Annie?” I called again, and she stopped walking but didn’t turn to face me. Her hair looked unbrushed and wasn’t meticulously curled like it usually was. “What’s wrong?” I asked as I tucked her hair behind her ear to reveal dark circles under eyes that were hooded from exhaustion.

“It’s been a long week.”

“Yeah, I get that. You haven’t answered any of my calls. I came to your house, and your dad blew me off.”

“My brother left.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” I chuckled, but my smile fell when she glared at me. “Did something happen?”

She shook her head as she glanced out over the field and my phone vibrated and chirped in my pocket. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen, cringing when I saw Nat’s name. I shoved it back in my jeans quickly.

“Annie, some people at school have been talking. There’s a rumor.” I ran my hand through my hair, wishing I didn’t have to say the words out loud.

“What rumor?” Her eyes searched mine, and I felt like I was pouring salt in a wound.

“Some people are saying he…uh…he attacked you.” My phone chirped again, and I bit out a curse.

“What? That’s insane. He would never.”

“I just thought you should know.” I pulled her into my arms. I wanted to believe her, but her brother had never seemed right when it came to her.

“I’m glad you told me, but it’s just his ex-girlfriend. They broke up right before he took off,” she explained as we walked toward my house. I pulled out the bowl, and we each took a few hits before going inside to watch television and space out. My phone went off three more times before we settled in on the couch.

“Just answer the damn phone already,” Annie groaned as she relaxed back. I reluctantly pulled out my phone and opened the messages. Nat was wondering why I had skipped school. I replied to her quickly saying I didn’t feel well.

“Who’s that?” Annie asked, craning her neck to see the screen. I closed out of the message and shrugged my shoulders.

“Just a friend.” I relaxed next to her, my pulse racing from my high and I was growing paranoid.

“A friend?” She quirked an eyebrow and I could see her questioning gaze from my peripheral vision.

“Just this girl, Nat.” I rubbed my palms over my thighs and cleared my throat, hating how far away the kitchen was. My mouth was growing increasingly dry and it felt like I had swallowed a cotton ball. “She’s just a friend.”

“I’m just a friend,” she countered and I groaned as I tried to focus on the television.

“So why are you giving me the third degree over some messages?” I laughed nervously as she looked out at the screen.

“I’m not. I was just curious.” We fell silent and I hated myself for not finding her earlier in the week. Instead, I took it as a personal insult when she stopped coming around. Nat was there when she wasn’t.

Chapter 21 - Annabel

My entire world seemed to be flipped on its axis. The last few days had changed everything and even Jacob wasn’t immune to the destruction. Part of me wanted to be sad and even jealous of this girl, but I had no right. I had kept him at arm's length, and I had no right expect him to sit by and wait for me to figure all of this out. My heart couldn’t hold any more pain after Colin left, and right now I just needed a friend.

I nudged him with my elbow and his mouth curved up in a smile, but he fought to hide it. I did it again and he glanced over at me, shaking his head as he held up the remote and turned the channel.

“I’m not above tickling you until you pee yourself.”

“Gross.” I leaned away from him but couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled up from inside of me. At least for a few minutes, while my judgment was clouded, I could smile and forget about my life outside of this house.

“Yeah. My dad sleeps on this couch,” he replied with a chuckle.

“Shh…turn this up.” I leaned forward, fighting against the drug-induced haze. Jacob laughed as he held the remote away from me, and I had to smack him on the chest to grab it from his hand. He leaned in to kiss me, and I ducked away from him to focus on the television.

The news was flashing a picture of a young blonde with large green eyes who had gone missing, and I gasped.

“She kind of looks like you.” Jacob stated the obvious as he took a drink from his soda.

“Taylor.” I whispered his name like a curse. He was still around, still lurking.

“Who?” Jacob asked, and I shook my head, turning up the volume.

She’d only been missing for twenty-four hours, which gave her a fighting chance of still being all right. My mind went to Colin. Was it possible that he had gone back to Taylor?

“My dad was working a case like this a few weeks ago.” He relaxed back in his seat and put his foot up on the glass coffee table.

“I should get home. It’s getting late.” I stood, swaying as I became lightheaded.

“Already? You said you were going to hang out.”

“Connor will freak out. He’s been extra worried with Colin taking off.”

He reluctantly stood up and stretched, clearly unhappy that I was going. I felt like a jerk for blowing him off, but Colin had once risked everything to save me, and I wouldn’t hesitate to return the favor.

“Are you mad at me or something?”

I sighed as I looked him over, hating that I didn’t care more about who he had been spending his time with. I knew he would be relieved and hurt if I admitted that to him.

“I’ll come over tomorrow. We can skip together.”

“Yeah?” He eyed me, and a grin spread across his face. “It’s a date.”

Jacob walked me to the fence, and as soon as I slipped onto my property, I took off full speed through the trees. I pushed the thought of having to face Taylor from my mind. I knew if I could find Colin, I could get him to come back.

I hurried up the front porch steps, panting as I opened the door and slipped inside. I instinctively glanced to my left, hoping he would be in the formal living room, lurking in the shadows and waiting to tell me he was worried about me. But the room sat as empty as my heart. The house was dark, and I slipped off my shoes and crept upstairs. Colin’s bedroom was straightened; no evidence of his destructive explosion remained. I had spent many nights curled up in his bed, calmed by the fading scent of his No. 1 cologne. I’d run my fingers over anything he might have touched in hopes of figuring out where he may have gone. There was nothing to go on, no remnants of our past anywhere. It was like we had never existed until we moved in with Connor.

I walked back into the hall, and my eyes went to the third-floor steps. The office. I took them two at a time, pausing as I made it to the doorway. This was my last hope of finding him. He hadn’t returned any of my calls or messages. I turned on the light and stepped inside. The desk had a few folders on top of it. Flipping them open, I realized they were for unrelated cases. I glanced around the room, hoping something would stand out. The file cabinet had locks on each drawer, and the coffee table that sat in front of a brown leather love seat only held magazines. I rounded the desk, cringing at the memory of the girl on her knees. I pulled open each drawer, groaning when I was met with only office supplies. Shit. My shoulders sagged as I walked back to the light switch before eyeing the copy machine. I flipped the lid up, but there was nothing in it. I hit the button to print the last scan, and out came an address and the letters “D.O.G.” scrawled across the top in Connor’s handwriting.

I glanced around the office as I tried to come up with a plan. I’d been driving Connor’s car to school when I actually felt up to attending. I didn’t allow myself to have a second thought. I hurried down the steps and into Colin’s room. His gun was still on top of his dresser in his closet. I carried it across the hall to my room and tucked it into my book bag. Next, I grabbed my laptop and googled directions. It was about forty-five minutes away, just outside of Jackson. That was plenty of time to find Colin and convince him to come back to me.

It was killing me not to leave immediately, but the last thing I needed was someone realizing I was gone and reporting the car stolen. I lay down in my bed and stared up at the textured white ceiling as I recalled the last day I was face-to-face with Taylor Woodward.

“There you are.” Taylor’s hand came down on my shoulder. I looked around for Colin, but he had been busy all morning with tasks Taylor had given him. “I’ve been wanting to catch up with you, see how you’re adjusting.”

“I-I’m doing well. Colin has helped me a lot.” I took a deep, cleansing breath so I would stop stuttering. “How is my mother?”

He looked down at the floor before his eyes met mine. “That’s one of the reasons I came to see you. Have a seat.”