“Like a father.”

It wasn’t at all like she was thinking. I barely knew Aydin, and I didn’t want to sleep with him. She was taking something far more complicated, and whittling it down to fit her own shallow perceptions of the world, so she could understand something she was determined not to ever comprehend.

I didn’t want to fuck him.

I cast a glance at the others before turning my eyes back on her. “I thought I’d remember my parents better since I was almost twelve when they died,” I told her. “I didn’t realize what a burden it takes off your shoulders to have guidance. I didn’t realize I’d missed it so much until I had it again.”

Aydin Khadir had an agenda. He stole me, put me in a dangerous position, and manipulated me.

But people change people, and while he was no hero, I couldn’t help but feel a little grateful. I’d been dying before I woke up in Blackchurch.

“I was safer in a house full of criminals than I was with my brother, because of Aydin,” I gritted out, “so you may as well exhale, because I won’t apologize for seeing something good in him. You did at one time, after all.”

She stood there, silent with a glimmer in her eyes, but her jaw flexed, and she didn’t budge.

Always strong. It was something I loved about her. He’d made her, too, after all. Even just a little.

“Now, may I please use someone’s phone?” I asked.

After a moment, Erika reached over and plucked hers out of the cup holder of the stationary bike and handed it to me.

“Thank you,” I said, backing out of the room and leaving them all alone again. “I’ll bring it back within the hour.”

• • •

I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling, blowing out a breath and shifting between the two huge bodies on both sides of me.

Too hot in here. Damn.

I looked over at Micah, seeing his face buried in his pillow, and then turned my head, seeing Rory. His blond hair covered his eyes and his arm was pinned under his head. Both men were shirtless, but they’d thankfully kept their pants on.

After I’d found a room and made my call with Erika’s phone, they pounded on the door, insisting to stay with me because the “pampered little know-it-alls who thought their shit didn’t stink aren’t getting a piece of you.”

As if Micah and Rory weren’t a little pampered themselves.

It was actually pretty adorable, though, and now we’re all cramped in my bed as the moon shone outside and the train vibrated under us.

To hell with it. I’d take all the friends I could get right now. I liked them.

Sitting up, I climbed over Rory’s body and gently stepped out of bed, looking down at the two beautiful guys and their sleeping forms. A serial killer on one side, and the son of a terrorist on the other. Man, my parents would be proud.

What were they both going to do after we got to Thunder Bay? They couldn’t go home. Would someone be coming for them?

For Will?

Still in my jeans and shirt, I slipped on Alex’s sneakers and tied them up.

I left the room, steam from the heaters fogging up the windows, but I could see the rain splattering on the outside.

I needed food. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate, and now I wished I’d eaten that sandwich I’d made when I waited for the brownies to cook earlier today.

Or yesterday. It was probably after midnight now.

God, had I only made the brownies yesterday? Fixed the chandelier? Made love to Will in the shower? It seemed like so much had happened since then.

The kitchen was back by the bar car, and I still hadn’t seen Will since the confrontation in there earlier. Not on my search for a phone, not when I returned it to Erika an hour later, and not tonight as I’d smelled food being wheeled down the corridor and past my room, not stopping at my door, unfortunately.

It was weird. I’d only made one phone call with Erika’s phone. For some reason, I thought I’d have a lot to tend to, but after I called my firm and left a message, assuring them I was safe, I sat there at a loss of who else to contact.

I was of no concern to Martin, Grand-Mère was gone, and there was no one else. No friends, really. No pets to check in on. No man waiting for me.

I think I’d had a dentist appointment yesterday, maybe…

Heading down the next corridor, I approached the kitchen door, but heard a cry and halted for a moment.

“Oh,” she moaned.

I didn’t know if it was Erika, Winter, or one of the other girls, but hunger pangs wracked my stomach. I needed some food. Or a drink at the bar.

Tiptoeing down the passageway, I threw a quick glance through the kitchen door, seeing the naked back of Winter Ashby as she sat on the steel worktable in the dark kitchen, her arms around her husband.

“I love you,” she whispered as he kissed her neck.

Taking his face in her hands, she pressed her lips to his mouth, lingering slow and gentle before moving her kisses to his cheeks, nose, forehead, and temples.

He closed his eyes and smiled, breathing that short, excited breathing like he was riding a roller coaster.

My body warmed, kind of intrigued to see him like that, but I didn’t linger. Continuing past the door, I stopped at the end of the car, looking through the windows and seeing the bar full of people. Kai and his wife, Michael and Erika, and then Alex. Will and his cousin were still nowhere to be seen, as well as a couple of other men I saw helping them when we were rescued. I believe Misha had a woman with him when we boarded the train, as well, but I didn’t see her either.

The room was still dim, the cherry-colored sofas and chairs rich and warm against the wooden walls and the amber glow of the light.

Kai held the woman in his lap, smiling as she said something into his ear, and Michael reached around Erika, making her a mixed drink and adding far too much tequila. She laughed.

My gaze dropped to Alex who was sitting in a chair with her legs pulled up. She nursed a glass and stared at nothing out the window.

I fisted my hands. Aydin could be dead.

She’d never admit it, but I knew that was where her mind was.

Someone approached my back, but I didn’t have to turn around to smell the bergamot.

“Did you know about Aydin and Alex?” I asked Will, still staring at her.

“I knew what she told me,” he said. “I knew of him. Not his name.”

“He’s in love with her.”

“He can’t have her.”

I turned my head, tempted to meet his eyes, because the possessiveness of his words scared me.

But then he continued, “He’s bad for her.”

I looked at her again, seeing her how I never got to before. The couples surrounding her, in love, and despite the fact that she had Will to lean on, I’d never seen her so lost.

“And I’m bad for you, and you’re bad for yourself,” I went on, “and Damon’s bad for the world, and Martin is bad for me…” I twisted the handle, crossing cars. “The world is only so big, Will.”

We couldn’t shut out every single person who’d disappointed us. Some of them were still worth fighting for.

I entered the bar car, eyes turning up at me as I walked in, Will following me. “We should go back,” I told everyone. “To Blackchurch.”