Alex.

“She, Rika, and I are designing a curriculum for young women,” she said, stopping just above me. “Self-defense, survival, situational awareness, decision-making… We’re hoping to roll it out next summer, starting at Sensou.”

Sensou. The dojo Kai, Rika, Will, and Michael owned together. Not with me.

Self-defense, survival, situational awareness… People don’t need classes in that. You push someone in a pool, they learn how to swim quick enough.

Banks stood up, bringing her satchel—weighed down and bulging with books and who knew what else with her. She looked up at me, explaining, “I want to empower people. That’s all I know for now.”

“Ready for lunch?” Alex asked behind me, but I knew she wasn’t talking to me. They were probably meeting Rika, too, since they all went to school here at Trinity College.

My sister walked past me, and I caught a little bow of her head, almost like an apology. It was subtle, and I hadn’t seen it in forever, but she used to do it all the time, didn’t she? Always little looks or gestures like that to handle me and my temper or keep me on an even keel.

I inhaled a deep breath.

I needed her. I needed an anchor.

“Banks,” I said, and turned around slowly.

She stopped and paused, standing there but not turning around. She didn’t want to deal with me, and she wasn’t going to have to. I was her big brother. I took care of her, not the other way around.

“I’ll catch up,” she finally told Alex.

Alex shot me a look, and I cocked an eyebrow, reminding her that she really didn’t like me upset.

Her lips formed a tight line and she nodded at Banks, leaving the auditorium.

Banks turned around, but she still wouldn’t look at me.

We were only a few feet from each other, but all of a sudden, it felt like miles.

I’d nearly killed my friend.

I’d destroyed Kai’s business.

I’d threatened her, had her guarded, and kept her practically caged.

I was sorry for some things, not for others.

I swallowed. “The way…the way I was with you…” I started, “I—”

“You raised me,” she said, raising her eyes. “And who knows what would’ve happened to me if I’d stayed with my mother.”

I waited for her to continue, not sure if she was just trying to make me feel better or if she really thought her life with me was worth it all.

“I like who I am,” she told me. “I don’t hate you for anything.”

And despite my slow, steady breaths and unwavering gaze on her, a little relief started to seep through my bones.

I watched her leave the auditorium, looking a little less unsure than when I walked in.

She didn’t trust me, and she might not choose me.

But she was still with me. Even just a bit.

That was something.

I arrived back at the Ashby house—technically now my house—just after six and fucking starving. I had barely eaten all day, and even though I’d rather wait until late to come in, so I’d have to deal with Arion as little as possible, I wanted to see her. I wanted Winter at my dinner table tonight.

“Hello, sir,” Crane said, opening the door for me.

I walked into the house, hearing the driver pull off behind me, and charged immediately up the stairs as the wind outside whistled through the old wood and any cracks in window panes it had found.

But there was no music or footsteps, and the upstairs was dark.

I stopped, slipping my hand into my suit pocket.

“Is anyone home?” I peered over my shoulder down to Crane.

He cleared his throat. “Mrs. Ashby and Mrs. Torrance are on their way back from the city—shopping,” he clarified. “They’ll be here in time for dinner.”

Mrs. Torrance. Jesus, fuck you.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, letting out a breath and waiting.

“And…” he continued. “Miss Ashby is in the backyard.”

I stopped breathing for just a moment. The backyard. I hated the way knowing that she was so close could give me pause.

I locked my jaw and continued up the stairs.

“She’s not alone, sir,” he called after me. “Mr. Grayson is here.”

I halted. Will?

“Please let me know if I shouldn’t have admitted him,” Crane rushed to add. “You only said—”

“It’s fine,” I bit out.

Continuing up the stairs, I barreled into my bedroom, throwing open the door so hard, the knob slammed into the wall. Charging over to the windows, I pulled back the gossamer curtain and peered down into the backyard, the view from the second floor spanning the terrace, pool, pool house, and wooded area beyond. I locked my gaze on them in the pool.

“What the fuck?” I growled low.

He had her in a headlock, her hair in her face, and a huge fucking smile on his. She struggled and fought, trying to reach him behind her, and while I was trying to decide if I was angrier that he was touching my shit or if he was really hurting her or just playing with her, he let her go, pushed her forward, and splashed her, both of them laughing and answering my question.

I gripped the window frame, scowling down at them. They stood waist deep, his chest naked, tattoos blaring, and she in some halter bikini top. Over the next several minutes he worked with her on different holds and how to get out of them. His lips moved, talking her through what to do as he grabbed or yanked her or backed her into the edge of the pool.

I almost snorted. Fucking Rika.

This was her idea. I’d bet any piece of ass she sent Will over here to teach Winter some self-defense moves to fend me off. Nice move, kid, but this was chess, not checkers. Remember?

Winter shot out her hands, planting them on Will’s chest, and I breathed hard and deep, my eyes burning with a glare.

She doesn’t touch him.

And he doesn’t touch her.

Releasing the curtain, I spun around and walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

I liked that Will was here. I wanted him here. I wanted him with me.

But he was not her fucking lifeline. Period.

I rounded the bannister and made my way to the back of the house and through the back door. Walking to the edge of the terrace, I stopped and looked down at them as they talked and played.

It made sense now why he took her into the pool. Without her sight, it helped her maintain balance and cushioned any falls during their training. Thank you for that, Will. I wanted her in perfect condition.

Sprinkles of rain hit my shoulders, and Winter fluttered her eyelashes as she turned her face to the sky and held out her hands, palms up. Drops hit the water, clouding the still surface, and the fire pit crackled near the pool house, an inviting glow under the darkening sky.

Will smoothed his wet hair over the top of his head and finally looked up, spotting me. He stood there, still and unwavering, his fucking juniper eyes always twisting a goddamn hole through my head like a screwdriver, and for a moment, it was high school, we were side by side, and Winter wasn’t standing between us.

In that moment, I wanted to grab him and her and Banks and put us all on an island, because they would never not belong to me.

Lightning shot through the sky, thunder cracked, and Will and Winter exchanged words before she hopped out of the pool. He followed, helping her find her towel.

Once she was dried off, she wrapped the towel around her body, but when he tried to take her hand, she waved him off. He said a few more words to her, she nodded, and then turned around.

Putting out her right hand, she made her way back up to the house, toward me, and I locked eyes with Will.

The corner of his mouth tilted in a challenge, and I shook my head as Winter made her way in my direction. Walking right past me, she paused, turning her head my way, and I looked down at her, knowing she knew I was here, mere inches away.

My eyes fell down her face, neck, and shoulders, touching her the only way I’d allow myself just yet.

Stupid girl. He only taught you to fend off one attacker. What if there were more?

She dropped her head, her lips tightening, and she walked on, back into the house.

Soon.

Will dried off and walked over to the fire pit, holding out his hands to warm up. I descended the brick steps, making my way over to him.

“I got your letter,” he said, staring at the fire.

I quirked a smile, remembering the note I sent him a while back. Challenging him to find me. To face who he really was, and it wasn’t as Michael and Kai’s third wheel. Fuck them.

“You think you can stop me?” I stared at him over the fire. Is that why he was here? Doing Rika’s bidding and trying to arm Winter against me?

But his eyes danced with mischief even though he still wasn’t looking at me. “You didn’t think that beating I gave you was the end of it, did you?”

My smile froze, remembering the beating I let him give me last year, because I knew I deserved it. I’d knelt there, letting him hit me again and again, because I wanted to feel worse on the outside than I did on the inside, and for so many moments, I just wanted him to kill me. Just kill me, because I can’t take it back, and I can’t move on.

I’d almost killed him. And I wanted him to hate me so hard he would fucking murder me, and then maybe, after his anger was spent, he’d love me again. Whether I lived or died, he needed to forgive me for standing by and letting Michael’s brother do what he did on that yacht that night.

But I wasn’t the only one to blame for all that shit that went down two years ago after we got out of prison, either. I took my punishment for my part, but I wasn’t taking it lying down again.

And if at least a small part of him wasn’t willing to forgive me, he wouldn’t be here now. He wanted to be here. He hadn’t let it go, which meant he hadn’t let me go. Not completely.

“You missed me,” I said in a low voice.

He moved behind the flames, circling the fire slowly, and I did the same, following him.

“Didn’t you?” I taunted.

His wet jeans clung to his legs, and I noticed he’d added some more ink to his chest and arms since I last saw him.