I guess something in my voice tells them to take me seriously. They shut their traps. And then we all hear it. Like every fire truck in Jar Island is on its way to something bad.

“Ricky!”

I’m running over to his bike and putting on a helmet as fast as I can. No one knows what to make of this, but Ricky, bless his heart, doesn’t hesitate a second. He roars the engine and we peel out, sending a spray of dead pine needles and snow.

We drive toward the sound. It’s not far off. But we can’t get close. One of the fire trucks has blocked off the road. I climb off the bike and run to the side of the road where a fireman is pulling caution tape across the pass. A few hundred feet away, around the bend of the cliff, I see a bright orange glow. Like a fire.

“What happened?”

He gives me this look, like I’m some stupid rubbernecker wanting the gory details. “There’s been an accident.” And then he turns his back to me.

I grab his arm. “Who? Was it a car? Was it a white Jeep?”

As soon as I say the white Jeep bit, he spins around, his face completely different.

I fall to my knees and let out a howl like a wild animal.

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

When I wake up, it’s just getting to be light outside, and I’m leaning against Reeve’s chest and his arms are around me. The clock on the dashboard says 7:07. Oh God.

I try to sit up, and Reeve stirs but doesn’t wake up, and he doesn’t let go. He holds me tighter, and for a second I let him. My parents are going to kill me.

Was it worth it? I look up at Reeve; his eyes are closed and his lashes are long and his hair is all mussed in the back. He looks like a little boy. Yes, it was worth it. I know now that I can’t not be with him. It will be hard, but I’m going to have to explain it to Mary and Kat so they understand. They’ll have to, they just will.

I sit up and gently shake Reeve’s shoulder. “Wake up, Reeve.” He opens his eyes, and he smiles. Then his eyes widen. “Oh shit. It’s morning. We overslept.”

“My parents are going to kill me. I was supposed to be home by two.” I slide away from him and start looking for my clutch. I find it on the floor by my shoes. I check my phone—eighteen missed calls, all from home. “Oh no.”

Reeve starts up the truck, and reverses out of the woods and onto the main road in one swift move. “I’ll get you home in six minutes. We’ll explain that we fell asleep; it’ll be fine.”

“You’re not explaining anything,” I tell him. “You’re just dropping me off. I’m talking to them alone.” I check my hair in the mirror. A mess. I start running my fingers through it, trying to untangle the ends. I’m starting to feel queasy, and it’s not just my parents. Every time I think of Mary, I feel an ache inside. And the way I left things with Rennie . . . it’s all such a mess.

Reeve reaches over and grabs my hand. He laces his fingers around mine and says, “Ren will get over it eventually. I’ll talk to her. She can’t stay mad forever.”

I let out a laugh. “Do you know Rennie at all? Of course she can.”

Confidently he says, “Not at me. We’ve known each other for too long.”

“Okay, then, she’ll forgive you and she’ll go on hating me.” As soon as I say it, I know that’s exactly how it’s going to go. Reeve’s just a guy; he’s not her best friend. He didn’t betray her the way I did.

“I won’t let her hate you, Cho,” Reeve says, and I start to smile, but then stop.

“And Mary. Mary’s going to be so upset,” I whisper.

Reeve asks, “Who’s Mary?”

“She’s my friend.” We’re pulling into my neighborhood now. “Reeve, there are a lot of things I need to tell you. Not now, but later.” I’m going to tell him everything. The revenge pact with Mary and Kat, the ecstasy at homecoming, the plan to make him fall in love with me—all of it. It’s the only way. And when he understands how badly he hurt Mary, he’ll go to her, and he’ll apologize. He’ll want to make things right.

Reeve pulls into my driveway, and about two seconds later my front door opens and my dad’s standing at the door. Worriedly, Reeve asks, “Are you sure you don’t want me to come inside with you? Blame it all on me.”

I’m already opening the passenger door. “Just go. I’ll call you later.” I hop out of the truck and run for the front door. I don’t look back, but I hear his car drive away.

Breathless, I run up to the door. “Daddy, I’m so sorry, I fell asleep—”

I stop talking because my dad has the strangest expression on his face. He grabs me in his arms and hugs me to him tight. “Thank God you’re okay.”

“What’s happening?” I ask. Then I look over his shoulder and see my mom and Nadia on the couch. My mom’s crying; so is Nadia. She’s smoothing the top of Nadia’s head and rubbing her back. Then my mom sees me, and her face crumples.

“Lillia,” she chokes out, and holds her arms out to me.

I’m scared. I’ve never felt so scared. “Daddy?” I pull away from my dad and look up at him. “Tell me what’s happening. Is it Grandma?”

My dad closes the front door and tries to maneuver me toward the couch. “First sit down, honey.”

I’m shaking my head. “No. Tell me now.”

He puts his hands on my shoulders. The lines around his eyes look deep in this morning light. He looks so tired. “It’s Rennie.”

My heart drops. No no no no no.

“She’s been in an accident. She—she died, Lilli.”

I feel my legs go out from under me. My dad rushes to lift me up, but he can’t. I can’t move. This isn’t happening. This is a dream. Rennie can’t be dead. It’s not possible.

CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE

At dawn, I wake up to find myself in a ball on the ground. Frosty green grass, dirt, and a touch of snow. But I don’t feel cold. I don’t feel anything. I lift my head.

What happened? I know where I am now. I’m in the big graveyard in the center of the island.

I crawl closer to the gravestone I’m lying in front of. I just need to see the name. If I see the name, I’ll know it’s not true. This has all been a nightmare, every minute.

JAMES GLENN DONOVAN, BELOVED HUSBAND AND FATHER. I let out a sob. No. Not Daddy. It can’t be. It says he died a year ago. That’s not possible. He never said good-bye. How could it be? I rack my brain, trying to remember the last time I saw him. It had to have been before I left for Jar Island. But I can’t remember anything about that day. I can’t hear his voice, or see him put me on the ferry. It’s like someone erased my memory, wiped it blank.

I’m still choking back tears when I see it. The gravestone right next to his. It looks old, like it used to be white and now it’s grayish.

elizabeth mary zane. sleep, my little one, sleep. My fingers reach out. Elizabeth. I say it and I know it’s my name. With a shaking hand, I try to trace my birthday. Thirteen when I . . .

I stumble to my feet and start backing away from the grave, without leaving a single footprint behind in the snow. I spin and run as fast as I can back to my house.

The front door is open. I run inside, up the stairs, to my room.

There aren’t any boxes. None of the clothes I packed away. My dresser is covered in a sheet. My bed has no linens. I step into the bathroom. The shower curtain’s gone. The towels, too. I look down into my bathtub. It’s full of dust, even though I showered right before Mom came.

I force myself to look up at the beams in my ceiling. At where I looped the rope, so many years ago.

I squeeze my eyes shut, throw back my head, and scream a scream that doesn’t end.

CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX

It’s dinner time and I’m parked a half block away from Lillia’s house, chain-smoking with my car windows rolled up tight. The snow hasn’t stopped falling since last night, and my windshield is almost completely blanketed white.

I’ve been waiting an hour for her to come home. I’m not sure where she is. Maybe at Rennie’s mom’s apartment, comforting her. Maybe with Ash, or some of the other girls from the cheerleading squad, holding each other and crying.

My heart hurts bad. Rennie and I were friends for a long time. Even with our break during high school, I know our friendship was deeper and longer and eclipsed anything she had with anyone else.

I can’t even go over to her apartment. It’s not like I have a right. It’s not like anyone would think to check on how I’m dealing, or give me a shoulder to cry on. No one is explaining to me why this happened, what was the cause of the accident, what the f**k we’re all supposed to do now.

I’ve texted Lillia maybe ten times, and she hasn’t written back once. Not one f**king time, when she knows that Rennie was my best friend too.

Maybe she’s still with Reeve. I don’t feel like I can even go check on Mary until I talk to Lil so she can explain what the hell is going on.

I let my head fall against the windshield and my eyes close, but as soon as they do, the tears come flooding back. This is all f**king crazy. It’s insanity.

I haven’t slept. Not a wink. Just sobbed and smoked, sobbed and smoked on repeat since I saw her Jeep burning in the ravine.

I glance at the dashboard clock. It’s five p.m.

Rennie’s been dead fifteen hours.

Fifteen hours ago. I was the last person to see her alive.

I start shaking, shaking and crying, and my head hurts so f**king bad. I stick my hand in my pocket and take the Valium that Pat handed me when I first tried to lie down, after we’d gotten home from the woods. Lord knows where he even got it. I wash it down with a sip of cold gas-station coffee.

I guess I eventually do nod off, because I don’t know how long has passed before I hear a knock at my window.

Lillia.

I lean across the car and open the passenger-side door. She climbs in. The skin around her eyes is pink and her face looks so pale.

“Sorry I didn’t text you back,” she whispers. “I was with her mom. She . . . she’s in really bad shape.”

I just stare at Lillia, because I don’t know what to say. She starts crying. Quiet, delicate tears.

“Do they know what happened? Why she crashed?”

“I don’t know. The officers aren’t saying yet.”

“Did you know she had pictures of you putting E in Reeve’s drink?”

Lillia pales. “You saw them?”

“Yeah. Rennie showed me after you left. I had to convince her to leave with me and not show everybody at the party. I went back and got them and burned them but I don’t know if they’re the only copies or what.”

Lillia closes her eyes. “I can’t even think about that right now.”

“Well, you better think about it because if people see those pictures, we’re f**ked.” I feel my lip curl. “What the hell happened with you and Reeve last night?”

Her mouth starts opening and closing, but no words come out.

“For f**k’s sake, Lillia!” I shake my head and wrap my hands around the steering wheel. “What are you going to say to Mary?”

“I don’t know, okay!” Lillia shouts, wiping her eyes. “I can’t even think straight right now.”

I rail on. “I hope you don’t think that I’m going to be the one to tell her, do your dirty work for you. That’s on you.”

“Kat, God! Can you just—can you just give it a rest? Rennie’s dead. My oldest friend in the world is dead.”

I slam my hands on the steering wheel and scream my throat raw. “You don’t think I know that! You think you were the only one who cared about her?”

Lillia wipes her tears with the sleeve of her coat. “I can’t believe any of this is happening.” She turns toward me, eyes sad but hopeful. “I mean, this could all be a bad dream. Right?”

CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

I’m outside Kat’s car, listening to them fighting. Fighting over who’s going to have to tell me what I already know.

They’re the ones who don’t know. I’m the one with the secrets. So many secrets. Still so much to figure out.

I do know this for sure. What happened last night, it wasn’t

my fault. Rennie dying was an accident. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was upset; I wasn’t thinking straight. But now I am. Now I know just how much Reeve’s taken from me. My family, my friends, my heart. My life.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a burn for a burn. A life for a life.

That’s how this all started. That’s how it’s gonna end.