Let me win at this game.

CHORUS:

Gimme, gimme, gimme,

I’m Greed when you’re near.

I want more, I need more,

Ignore all of my fear.

Heat me, scald me, burn me,

I’m Lust for your touch.

You kill with a smile

And I refuse to be rushed.

How’s this for a love note?

Do my words rock your boat?

If not, I’ll try harder

Take things a bit farther.

You bet your ass I’ll do that,

Raise the bar, sexy cat.

So step closer to me, turn up the AC.

You’ll be singin’ the chorus in 1, 2, 3 . . .

CHORUS

Roses are red and violets are blue,

That played-out shit isn’t for you.

I got your love letter right here in my eyes.

If you look deep enough, you’ll see through the lies.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Good Witch, Bad Ape

“Baby, you’re beautiful, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s me, I’m a freak.”

—“Whataya Want from Me?” by Adam Lambert

I’ve always lived life like a game, moving my piece along the board, taking pleasure where I can, but feeling otherwise numb. Until a surprise came along and fucked it right up. Life is still a game now, only the rules have changed. Each move I make lands me on a mystery space, and I’m forever unsteady.

Over and over I imagine her as she was that night, sitting on the bed in the hotel room, like a still shot captured in my brain—her fluorescent pink aura, shockingly beautiful, surrounding her skin as she held a pillow to her nearly naked chest.

That image. It does me in every time. It slices me to pieces.

She’s safe now, in her father’s care—or as safe as a Nephilim can be. I resist the urge to drive over and check on her each time Father leaves for New York. I remind myself the whisperers could see us, and I’ve already tempted fate enough by spending far too much time with her in the past. It’s made me careless.

I only work the days Father is in Atlanta. I know it’s bloody dangerous to limit myself to only a few halfhearted hookups a week, but Anna has ruined me with a craving for something far more substantial. She possesses the only thing that can fill the deep void within me, and nothing else comes close.

It’s been over two months since I’ve seen her. When I caught sight of Jay at a party last week I was caught in a moment of desperation.

“Heard about the Halloween field party, mate?” I’d asked. Good ole Jay lit up at the invitation, just as I’d counted on. I’m not certain he’ll bring Anna, but it’s worth a try.

She probably won’t come, smart girl that she is. Halloween is one of the demons’ favorite nights of the year to whisper their sweet nothings.

I didn’t let Father see the Halloween costume I’d rented. It’s the ultimate way to hide from people. Only one girl will be able to recognize me in this giant gorilla costume. She’ll see an ape with a red badge.

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday: people dressing in ways they normally wouldn’t dare. Inhibitions down, even without drugs and alcohol, and dark exhilaration in the air. Tonight is no different as I scan the field of laughing people, but I don’t feel the buzz I normally do on this night.

The gorilla head smells rank, and it’s hot inside this damned thing. Between my nerves and the lack of ventilation, I’m sweating. I look through the mesh eyes at the crowd. There must be several hundred people there to see the five bands play. Not our band tonight, though I’m certain Raj, Michael, and Bennett are around here somewhere.

I focus my eyes, pulling each face into clear view from across the field. I wonder what Anna’ll be wearing. I imagine her in a sexy angel outfit—the irony would be our secret.

My gaze halts on the fuzzy blond head of Jay with an eye patch, and a fake parrot propped on his shoulder. Next to him is a small green witch wearing a ratty black wig and pointy hat, with a badge at her sternum only I can see. I grin to myself inside the mask as cool relief floods my system.

She’s here.

I won’t approach her. I don’t know how she feels anymore. A lot can change in two months, especially when I’ve done my best to push her away. She deserves better.

I feel the burn rise when I think of Kopano. Makes me want to rip off the gorilla head so I can breathe easier, but I’m not in the mood to be recognized by anyone other than Anna.

Kope is quite possibly the only man on earth worthy of Anna, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let him have her when her love’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted. Impossible thoughts plague me. Impossible desires. Dangerous dreams.

I watch Anna now as she glances down at herself, then crosses her arms, looking self-conscious of her chest in the tight black dress. I have a spanking good view of Anna’s side profile. My gaze outlines the curve of her back down to her waist, landing on her round arse. A deep, intoxicating stir is triggered within me. Good thing this ruddy costume is roomy.

My thoughts sober and my pulse spikes when I realize she’s looking at me now, recognizing me. I don’t move. We stare for what feels like forever before she finally waves. I’m overcome with joy at this simple acknowledgment. I lift a paw and chuckle at Anna’s greenness. A girl I hadn’t noticed before grabs Anna’s hand and says something. I focus my hearing on them.

“—Who are you waving at?” the girl asks. She’s dressed like a provocative Minnie Mouse.