Falling Away Page 3
Backing away, he wouldn’t meet my gaze as he turned and left the house. He closed the door, locked it, and walked down the porch steps quietly.
Moments later, I heard Jared’s Boss and Liam’s Camaro fire up and speed down the dark street.
And an hour later, I was still lying awake in Tate’s bed, running my finger over the spot he’d touched on my collarbone and wondering about the Jaxon Trent I never got to know.
CHAPTER 1
K.C.
Two years later
Shelburne Falls was an average-size town in northern Illinois. Not too small but barely big enough to have its own mall. To the naked eye, it was picturesque. Sweet in its “no two homes are alike” originality and welcoming in its “can I help you carry your groceries to the car?” kind of way.
Secrets were kept behind closed doors, and there were always too many prying eyes, but the sky was blue, the leaves rustling in the wind sounded like music, and kids still played outside rather than zoned out on video games all the time.
I loved it here. But I also hated who I was here.
When I left for college two years ago, I had made a promise to spend every day trying to be better than I was. I was going to be an attentive girlfriend, a trustworthy friend, and a perfect daughter.
I rarely came home, choosing to spend last summer counseling at a summer camp in Oregon and visiting my college roommate, Nik, at her home in San Diego. My mother got to brag about my busy lifestyle, and my old friends really didn’t seem to miss me, so it all worked out.
Shelburne Falls wasn’t a bad place. It was perfect, actually. But I was less than perfect here, and I didn’t want to come home until I could show all of them that I was stronger, tougher, and smarter.
But that shit blew up in my face. Big-time.
Not only did I breeze back into town much sooner than I’d wanted, but my arrival was on the heels of a court order. Awesome impression, K.C.
My phone rang, and I blinked as I came out of my thoughts. Adjusting the covers, I sat up in bed and slid the screen on my Galaxy.
“Tate, hi.” I smiled, not even bothering to say hello. “You’re up early.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Her cheerful voice was a relief.
“You didn’t.” I swung my legs out of bed and stood up, stretching. “I was just getting up.”
Tate had been my best friend all through high school. She still was, I guess. During senior year, though, I’d changed our friendship. I wasn’t there when she needed me, and now she kept about two feet of personal space when I was around. I didn’t blame her. I messed up, and I hadn’t manned up to talk about it. Or apologize.
And despite my mother’s oft-repeated words of “wisdom,” I should have. “Apologizing is lowering yourself, K.C. Nothing is really a mistake until you admit you’re sorry for it. Until then, it’s just a difference of opinion. Don’t ever apologize. It weakens you in front of others.”
But Tate rolled with it. I guess she figured that I needed her friendship more than she needed me to say I was sorry.
But all in all, I was positive of two things. She loved me, but she didn’t trust me.
She was chewing something as she spoke, and I heard a refrigerator door shut in the background. “I just wanted to make sure you got settled in okay and that you’re comfortable.”
I pulled my white cami back down over my stomach as I walked to the French doors. “Tate, thank you so much to you and your dad for letting me crash here. I feel like a burden.”
“Are you kidding?” she burst out, her voice high-pitched in surprise. “You’re always welcome, and you’ll stay for as long as you need.”
After I’d gotten in to Shelburne Falls last night—by plane and then by cab—I’d made quick work of unpacking all my clothes in Tate’s old room, showering, and inventorying the cabinets for any food I might need. Turned out I needed nothing. The cabinets and the refrigerator were crammed full of fresh food, which was weird, considering that Tate’s dad had been in Japan since May and would be there until fall.
“Thanks,” I offered, dropping my head. I felt guilty at her generosity. “My mom may warm up as the summer progresses.”
“What’s her problem?” Her honest question threw me.
I let out a bitter laugh as I opened up her white French doors to let the fragrant summer breeze in. “My police record doesn’t match her lily-white living room. That’s her problem, Tate.”
My mother only lived a few blocks away, so it was funny that she actually thought she’d escape gossip by not letting me stay at home while I completed my community service. Those Rotary Club bitches were going to be on her case either way.
That wasn’t funny. I shouldn’t laugh.
“Your ‘police record,’ ” Tate mimicked. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Don’t tease me, please.”
“I’m not,” she assured me. “I’m proud of you.”
Huh?
“Not for breaking the law,” she was quick to add. “But for standing up for yourself. Everyone knows I’d probably have a police record if not for Jared and Madoc tossing their weight around. You make mistakes like everyone else, but if you ask me, that asshole Liam got exactly what he deserved. So, yes. I’m proud of you.”
I stayed quiet, knowing she was trying to make me feel better about dumping my boyfriend—kind of violently—after a five-year relationship.
But then I shook my head as I inhaled the clean morning air. Everyone may make mistakes, but not everyone gets arrested.
I could do better. A lot better. And I would.
Straightening my back, I held the phone with one hand and inspected the fingernails of the other.
“So, when will you be home?” I asked.
“Not for a couple of weeks. Madoc and Fallon left for a vacation yesterday to Mexico, and Jared’s at ‘Commando Camp’ until late June. I’m going to visit my father soon, but for now, I’m taking the opportunity while Jared is away to pretty up the apartment.”
“Ah,” I mused, staring absently through the trees to the house next door. “Here come the scented candles and throw pillows,” I teased.
“Don’t forget the frilly toilet seat covers and accent lamps.”
We laughed, but mine was forced. I didn’t like hearing about their lives that I hadn’t been a part of. Jared and Tate were going to college and living together in Chicago. He was in ROTC or something and was off on a training session in Florida. His best friend, Madoc—a fellow classmate of mine from high school—was married already and going to college in Chicago with Jared, Tate, and his wife, Fallon, whom I barely knew.
They were all some sort of little gang that I wasn’t a part of anymore, and suddenly a heavy weight settled on my heart. I missed my friends.
“Anyway,” she continued, “everyone will be home soon. We’re thinking of a camping trip for the Fourth of July, so do yourself a favor. Get ready. Be wild. Don’t shower today. Wear a mismatched bra and panty set. Go get a hot bikini. Be. Wild. Got it?”
Hot bikini. Camping. Tate, Fallon, Jared, and Madoc and their wild ways. Two couples and me the fifth wheel.
Riiiiight.
I looked across at the darkened house next door, where Tate’s boyfriend had once lived. His brother, Jax, used to live there, too, and all of a sudden I wanted to ask Tate about him.
Wild.
I shook my head, tears pooling in my eyes.
Tate. Jared. Fallon. Madoc.
All wild.
Jaxon Trent, and all the chances he gave me that I never took. Wild.
The silent tears dropped, but I stayed silent.
“K.C.?” Tate prompted when I said nothing. “The world has plans for you, baby. Whether you’re ready or not. You can be either a driver or a passenger. Now get yourself a hot bikini for the camping trip. Got it?”
I swallowed the Brillo Pad in my throat and nodded. “Got it.”
“Now go open the top drawer of my dresser. I left two presents in there when I was home this past weekend.”
My eyebrows pinched together as I walked. “You were just home?”
I wished I hadn’t missed her. We hadn’t seen each other in about a year and a half.
“Well, I wanted to make sure it was clean,” she answered as I headed to the opposite wall to her dresser, “and that you had food. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay to greet you, though.”
Yanking open the drawer, I immediately froze. My breathing halted, and my eyes went round.
“Tate?” My voice squeaked like a mouse’s.
“You like?” she taunted, the smirk on her face practically visible through the phone. “It’s waterproof.”
I reached in with a shaky hand and took out the purple “Jack Rabbit” vibrator still in its clear plastic packaging.
Oh, my God.
“It’s huge!” I burst out, dropping both the phone and the vibrator. “Shit!”
Scrambling, I snatched the phone off the rug and hugged myself as I laughed. “You’re crazy. You know that?”
The delighted sound of her laughter filled my ears, and I had gone from tears to smiles in no time.
There was a time when I was more experienced than Tate. Who knew she’d be buying me my first vibrator?