He wouldn’t want to be around me.

“Tate, I don’t know. I mean, I’d love to have you as a roomie—but to be honest, Madoc and I don’t get along. I just don’t think it’s the best situation for us to run into each other.”

“Madoc?” She sounded confused. “Madoc would only be around Jared’s apartment if he ever came to Chicago for visits, which I’m not sure is going to happen. Madoc’s off the radar these days.”

I sat up. “What do you mean?”

“He got sent to Notre Dame early. His dad has a house there, I guess, so Madoc went there until school starts and the dorms open up next month.” She hesitated, and another wave of guilt racked me.

He was gone.

And he was probably sent away from home because of me.

She continued. “It’s probably for the best. With Madoc’s dad and Jared’s mom getting together, Madoc was pretty pissed. He and Jared got in a fight, and no one has talked to him in weeks. We’re all just giving him some space.”

Shit.

What about Lucas? Has Madoc come home to spend time with his little brother at all?

My face fell, and I felt like shit all over again. This was my fault. Maybe I should have felt like it was poetic justice for Madoc to be sent away like I was, but I didn’t want him alone. And I hated that he’d had to leave his little brother.

“So?” she prompted. “What do you think?”

What did I think? I wanted to say yes, but I knew I should be distancing myself from anyone Madoc-related.

I sighed, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. “I say we’re going to have a kick-ass year, roomie.”

“Hell, yeah!” she screamed and then jacked up her God-awful metal music in the background.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and winced.

Wow.

CHAPTER 16

MADOC

My hands dug deep into her bottom, squeezing the firm flesh as I buried my face in her neck. I didn’t look at her. If I didn’t, I could almost imagine that . . .

“Mr. Caruthers, stop. Not here.” She squirmed against my body and giggled as she tried pushing me away.

“I told you not to call me that,” I whispered to her.

“Fine,” she conceded. “Madoc, then. Let’s go to your room.”

“But this is more fun.”

Brianna—or Brenna?—had her legs wrapped around my waist, and I had her pinned to the wall next to my bedroom in my father’s South Bend house. She came once a week, cleaned and did laundry, and I didn’t wait long before making my move. I wasn’t sure how old she was, but she was at least twenty-four or twenty-five, and pretty as hell.

Blond hair, blue eyes, and always wearing good-girl clothes like capris and fitted polos. Definitely far from where I had strayed before.

“We need condoms,” she pointed out.

I let out a sigh as I let her down and pulled her behind me into my room.

Other than Brenna, my life here was more boring than a tractor pull. Classes hadn’t started yet, I hadn’t made any friends since students weren’t on campus yet, and the town was dead without the college crowd. Yep, like it or not, this girl was the highlight of my week. Her tits were bigger than my head, and when she left I was smiling again.

At least for a little while.

Unbuttoning my jeans, I watched as she stripped out of her clothes and dug a condom out of the nightstand. Sauntering over to me in her white lace bra and panties, she reached into my black boxer briefs and rubbed my hard-on.

She looked at me, licking her lips and grinning. My breath shook, and I looked away. I didn’t know what it was, but I couldn’t look at her. I never could. I didn’t even remember her name half the time.

I didn’t want her to be real.

Gripping her hair at the back of her head, I pulled her in for a kiss. Our teeth rubbed together, and I heard her moan. From the hard kiss or pleasure, I didn’t know, and I really didn’t care.

“I want it now,” she panted, rubbing me harder.

My jaw steeled, and I broke the kiss, grabbing her by the elbow and hauling her over to the bed.

“You don’t order me. You don’t own me. You got that?” I bit out.

A flash of excitement crossed her eyes like lightning. “Yes, sir.”

I stuck my fingers underneath the hem of my briefs and yanked them down my legs, kicking them to the side. Gripping the back of her neck, I brought her down with me as I lay down. “Go down.”

Cool oxygen poured into my lungs, and my heart pumped faster.

Quick-quick.

Quick-quick.

Quick-quick.

Her mouth descended between my legs, and I squeezed my eyes shut, reveling in the pleasure of how eager she was. She licked and sucked, taking all of me in as her hair warmed my thighs.

“I want to see you. I want to kiss you when you come.”

I tried to shut that voice out of my mind, instead putting my hands on Brenna’s head and pushing her down further on my cock.

“Keep going, baby,” I grunted, urging her on. “That feels good.”

Her head bobbed up and down as she sucked harder, and I arched my h*ps up into her mouth.

“Who’s kissing you right now? Who’s riding you?”

“More. Harder,” I ordered, but despite my best intentions the blond hair I gripped turned a light brown and smoky green eyes stared up me. “God, that’s good, baby.”

And whether I liked it or not, I retreated into my head where Fallon lived and let the fantasy take over. I didn’t want to think about that bitch. I didn’t want to want her, but I did.