I had asked my doctor for a prescription refill, using the excuse that I was still in pain. Even though my body was healing, my mind was in pain. I was also starting to like the way the combination of antidepressants and narcotics made me feel numb.

Ryan was dealing with his own pain, drowning his misery in alcohol. I feared that he would slip and seek comfort in another woman’s arms – someone who wasn’t the source of his woes.

Ellen finally flew back to Pittsburgh. She had stayed with me for over two weeks, but she had to get back home and back to running Bill’s dental office. I was fending for myself fairly well so there wasn’t any need for her to stay. As much as I loved her, she was starting to get on my nerves.

As soon as she cleared out, Tammy moved into the guestroom.

There were quite a few moments when I had the overwhelming urge to get on a plane and fly down to Florida to see just what the hell was going on down there, but I couldn’t. My ribs were still bruised, my arm was in a cast, and I didn’t have medical clearance to fly.

The large black and blue marks on my face were healing, diminished to a most unpleasant yellow tinge to my skin.

My body and face had been covered quite extensively in road rash. Many spots were scraped and bruised… even my scalp. Those too, were healing.

And then there was the acute agoraphobia to deal with. Angelica was still on the loose, paparazzi still lurked around the corners, and I looked like shit from getting hit by a car. It certainly made hiding inside my apartment the most appealing of all options.

Through all of this, there was still one story that hurt more than any of them – and it was the biggest lie of them all. Articles were written and circulated all around the globe that said I tried to trap Ryan Christensen by getting pregnant.

My supposed failed attempt at trapping him was reported as the reason why he went running back to Lauren’s arms. It was so far from the actual truth, yet people were even talking about it on television. I was a gold-digging, small town piece of trash who tried to use a superstar to get somewhere in life.

And here I thought I had it bad when Thomas dumped me. That was a bee sting in comparison to having the moon fall out of the sky and land conveniently on my head.

Marie and Cory were running the bar full time while I recuperated; I spent the majority of each day on the couch in a haze.

“Taryn?” Marie called out as she came through my door. She and Tammy both had their own keys to my apartment now. “Kyle is downstairs. He says he has something he wants to give you.” Her expression was worried.

I thought I had seen the last of Kyle when I told him goodbye, but he still continued to drift in and out of my life. I was very apprehensive about seeing him again; part of me feared him.

Tammy led the way down the steps to make sure I wouldn’t fall.

Kyle was sitting at a booth by himself; a brown bag was on the seat next to his hip. My two best friends stood behind the bar, watching his every move.

“Hi,” he said curtly. “Look, I know you probably don’t want to see me, but I got some things for you - it would make me feel a lot better if I knew you were safe.”

I nervously sat down and rested my cast on the tabletop.

“I got you some stuff.” He opened the bag. “Things you can keep in your purse or wherever, just in case.”

The first thing Kyle took out of the bag was an ordinary can of wasp spray.

“This is better than mace and it sprays farther too. Spray this in an attacker’s face and they’re instantly incapacitated. I only got you one can but you should probably buy a few more.”

I watched as he dug into the bag again. Kyle barely made eye contact with me.

“This is a strobe light alarm with mace; it disorients and blinds an attacker,” he muttered. “This is called a ‘Screecher’ – it’s really loud. You can put it on your keychain or keep it in your car.”

I was looking at one of the packages, wondering why I would ever need to use any of these things. I never needed them before; Ryan’s fans had been keeping their distance.

“Just remember that you can’t take any of this stuff on an airplane if you are going to fly anywhere. I was going to get you a taser too, but they are illegal in Rhode Island. Do you know any self-defense?” he rambled.

“Not really,” I admitted.

Kyle didn’t smile. “You should probably think about taking some classes when you’re healed. I could show you some moves, but…”

Kyle put all the items back in the bag and sighed heavily.

“Have you seen Angelica in the area?” he asked, quietly changing the subject.

“No.” I shook my head. “I haven’t been out of the house much. The two times I went out was to go to the doctor. Jamaal escorted me.”

Kyle nodded. “Good. Mr. Jones is an excellent bodyguard and a good man.”

Kyle looked nervous and depressed when he talked to me. “I’ve been trying to track Angelica down but she hasn’t surfaced anywhere yet. I have a few people watching to see if she pops up on the map again. Just don’t worry. I’ll find her soon enough.”

Kyle grabbed his keys from his pocket and started to slide out of the booth. “Okay, well… that’s all. Take care of yourself.”

He started to walk off but I stopped him.

“Kyle?” I called out, secretly wishing he’d stay just a bit longer.

He stopped abruptly in his tracks, but barely glanced back at me over his shoulder.

“Would you like to stay for a drink?” I asked apprehensively.

His eyes were so sad and it pained me to know that I was the cause of his melancholy. As if I needed one more reason to be sad myself.

I grabbed the bottle of tequila.

“All you have to do is stamp on their foot real hard,” Kyle chuckled, telling me about some self-defense maneuvers.

“So, in other words, hitting them over the head with this bottle wouldn’t work?” I giggled. I was feeling quite tipsy from the beer, shots, and pain medicine.

“You could always use your big, blue club here,” he teased, tapping his fingers on my arm cast. “Swing it hard enough and you could probably knock some teeth out with that thing!”

I smirked at his joke.

“I’m not afraid. If someone wants to try and hurt me, I’m going to put up one hell of a fight. The majority of his fans are harmless, although I’m sure I’ll have to deal with a lot more of them hating me over the next forty years. Oh well, whatever.”