“See you.” I waved as he hopped into the waiting car.

That night I had the most beautiful dreams.

“Are you feeling better today?” Marie asked when she came in at four p.m. to start her shift behind the bar, her eyes assessed my appearance.

“Yes, much,” I replied. “I think I got food poisoning from the lobster. Either that or it was the bagged salad.”

“Did Ryan get sick too?” she wondered aloud.

“Yeah, we both were really sick, but he seemed to get over it quicker. I stopped for pizza on the way back from the cabin but after I ate a slice it just sat in my stomach like a brick. I’m sorry for last night… I didn’t want them to cancel poker on my account.”

“Don’t apologize! You were sick. It happens. Besides, Gary and I had an awesome good time anyway, if ya know what I mean.” She winked at me and held up three fingers.

“Three?” I gasped in amazement. “You or him?”

“Me, of course!” She smiled and bobbed her head.

“That accomplishment deserves a high-five!” I reached over to slap my hand into hers.

“So did you rack up any numbers yourself this weekend… all alone in the forest with Prince Charming?”

“No.” I shook my head. “It’s not like that. We just took the boat out on the lake.”

“When are you going to see him again? I presume you are going to see him again?” she prodded.

“I don’t know. He’s working. I’m working. I guess I’ll see him Sunday.” I shrugged and continued to hustle behind the bar. “We didn’t make any plans. Besides, he won’t be sticking around here anyway. A couple of more weeks and he’ll be gone.”

Thoughts of him leaving surged through my brain like wildfire and burned all the way down my throat and into my heart. This friendship with him, these feelings growing inside of me for him, in reality all had an expiration date looming.

Even though I was mostly trying to enjoy the moment, the knowledge that the moments wouldn’t last forever was still overshadowing everything else.

I went about my day, but my heart felt like it was burning.

I had taken care of business – Tammy and I spoke and we finalized the dinner menu for Sunday.

I placed an advertisement in the local newspaper for a part-time weekend bartender and hung a ‘Help Wanted’ sign that I made on my computer in the front window.

“Marie, I’m going to hire a part-time bartender,” I said as I taped the sign on the glass. “I think we could use an extra set of hands on Fridays and Saturdays. It’s getting to be too much for you and me to handle alone, and Tammy doesn’t want to work every weekend.”

“Sounds good to me. We’ve been getting slammed lately,” she agreed.

“Yeah, just while the movie stuff is still going on. Once they all leave, we probably won’t need the help, but I think it’s too much for just the two of us.”

Marie flipped the channels on the television until she got to the local news. It was mostly background noise to me until the reporter mentioned the words “Seaside movie.”

“Over one hundred people had to be removed from the remote beach location where the second installment of the Seaside movie was being filmed today. Dedicated fans are desperate to get any glimpse of the film’s all-star cast, including the movie’s lead actor, Ryan Christensen.

“Local police were called to the scene after several individuals breached the closed movie set and charged onto the beach. Police officers from at least two local municipalities were assisted by officers from the State Police to manage the crowd and at this time two women have reportedly been taken into police custody.

“The women were stopped by on-set security and members of the production team as they attempted to reach Mr. Christensen and Ms.

Strass while they were filming. Reports from eye witnesses who were at the scene indicated that at least one of the women allegedly yelled obscenities and death threats at Ms. Strass, although it is unknown at this time the content of those threats.”

The camera cut to four police officers who had two women in custody and were escorting them into the police station.

In an instant I was concerned for Ryan and his safety, but I fought back the urge to call him. Even though I had his number from all the text messages he sent, I didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. I wasn’t going to chase after any man. I made a pledge to myself at that moment that I wouldn’t commit his phone number to my cell phone memory.

The fact that I cared and wanted to know how he was doing meant that I was already too attached to him. When he finally does leave Seaport, it will be even that much harder for me to cope.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket several times throughout the night just to make sure I didn’t miss a call, but he never called like he said he would. I wondered what had happened to keep him from calling me. Maybe I’m just misreading our connections or making them out to be more than what they really are. I truly hoped he wasn’t busy making new connections with some other girl. What am I doing? I chastised myself. I can’t let my guard down. I need to stop this.

I thought about the boyfriends that I had in the past and reviewed why none of those relationships ever lasted. I realized that I had made some typical girl mistakes with some of them… being too needy or too clingy or just trying too damn hard to be what I thought they wanted me to be. I was too young at the time to truly understand what healthy relationships were all about.

Some of my relationships ended because after the sex we realized that we had nothing else in common. There were no other threads to hold us in place.

I broke up with Tim when I realized that he wasn’t what I wanted for my future. He was the type of guy who only cared about himself and his needs. I didn’t need anyone to take care of me, but I did want someone to love me enough to try.

When I was with Dean, his broken heart became my mission to fix. He was a few years older than me and had already been married once and on his way through a divorce. He also had a three-year-old son caught in the mix.

I really cared for his little boy. When I was around him I tried to be a good stand-in mother, until Dean reminded me one day that I wasn’t his son’s mother and that he had no intentions to ever have another child with anyone. That was when he stopped touching me.

My engagement with Thomas ended harshly, with bitter words and horrible accusations. I remembered all too clearly walking into his apartment to find him in bed with someone else. I’m pretty sure he planned it that way. He let me be the one to end the relationship so he wouldn’t have to. Me barging in on him gave him one more reason to think his affairs were justified.