***

By the time we leave the next evening, there is no doubt in my mind that we’ve replaced Nico’s memories with new ones that he won’t soon forget.

Chapter 45

Elle

The last few weeks have been, without a doubt, the happiest weeks of my life. I’ve found a balance between my work and my time with Nico, and Lawrence actually seems happy that I’m working fewer hours these days. His own health issues have been a soft reminder of life’s priorities and it seems to have spilled over into how he is managing the office. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.

I still think about my past, but I haven’t had another nightmare since I told Nico. It’s odd, sometimes it feels like I’ve lightened what I carry around with me, but only because Nico is sharing the weight. We talk about it openly now and it seems to help. Each day it gets a little bit easier.

I can’t remember the last time I saw the delivery man for dinner. Nico’s in training for his big fight and he seems to love to feed me. We alternate between our apartments, but we’ve slept in the same bed almost every night since we came back from Preach’s house on the lake. I thought we had hit a high note, and things would have nowhere to go from there, but I’m finding I like the day to day ordinary with Nico almost as much as the special times. I’m in a domestic bliss of sorts, a place I never thought I’d find. A place that just didn’t seem in the cards for me. But here I am…and I couldn’t be happier.

I leave work a little early, it’s an important day for Nico. He finally finds out who he’ll be fighting in the championship fight. Not that the name will mean anything to me, but I want to be there for him.

I hit traffic on the way to the gym and barely make it there before the live announcement that is going to be made on T.V. The gym is full, but it’s not humming with its usual bevy of men hitting things or lifting poundage that exceeds my body weight. Instead, they’re all gathered around the T.V. that hangs from the corner of the cardio area. The sound is loud and the scene is upbeat and jovial. As always, Nico clocks me the minute that I walk in. He’s talking to an up-and-coming young fighter I’ve seen around before, but he watches every step I take. I wonder if the poor guy even notices he’s lost Nico’s attention.

“Love the suit.” Nico wraps his arm around my waist possessively the second I approach. I wore his favorite red suit, knowing I would be leaving the office early to go straight to see him. The hem is a little shorter than most of my others, but I barely made it out of it the last time I wore it, so I thought he might have taken a liking to it. I was right. I love that Nico finds me sexy in a suit. Some men would be intimidated by a woman dressed for business, but not Nico. Instead of intimidated, he finds it arousing.

The newscasters come on and we join the others around the T.V. The announcer talks for a little while about Nico’s career, footage plays on the screen from the fight. Nico’s grip on my waist tightens as they discuss the death of his former opponent, I’m only grateful that they didn’t decide to replay the blow that ended the fight.

Finally, the President of the MMA Fighting Association comes on the screen and reminds everyone that one week from today the championship fight will take place. He then makes a big to-do about opening an envelope that contains the name of the challenger, as if he didn’t already know, and the name is announced. Trevor Crispino. The room falls silent. Apparently I’m the only one that the name means nothing to. I scan the room for some indication of why Mr. Crispino’s name is met with such empathy, but everyone seems shell-shocked. Especially Preach. I vaguely remember Nico telling me he thought it would be a fighter named Caputo.

Nico disappears before I can ask him what is going on and suddenly the quiet room erupts in chatter. There’s lots of “no f**kin way” comments and a few “this is bullshit, he’s not even a contender” remarks, but I’m still lost. I make my way through to Preach, who’s still staring at the floor. His reaction is making me feel even more panicked.

“Preach, what’s wrong with Trevor Crispino?” I ask hesitantly, not really sure I want to hear the answer, because I know it’s bad. Really bad.

Preach looks up at me, his eyes are glassy and he looks sad. My heart lurches into my stomach. “He’s Frankie’s brother. The boy that died in the the fight. They’re trying to make it a grudge match. But the kid shouldn’t even be in the ring with the likes of Nico. He’s no match. Nico will kill ‘em.”

I’m sure the last words weren’t meant literally, but sometimes things that aren’t meant to come out that way, come out the way they should be spoken in the end, anyway.

***

I find Nico in his loft, sitting in the dark. His elbows on his knees, head dropped low in his hands. I wait for a minute before I approach, wondering if he will acknowledge I’ve entered the room. The gate on the elevator door is loud, there’s no way he didn’t hear me come in. But he just sits there quietly, even as I make my way to him and rest my hand on his shoulders, he doesn’t move.

“You okay?” My voice is low, but the room is so quiet, there is no mistaking that he can hear me. Yet he doesn’t answer.

I bend down to eye level with him in the darkness. It doesn’t matter that he can’t see me, I’ll be harder to ignore when I’m so close.

“What can we do?”

Nico lets out a heavy rush of air before he wraps his big hand around my neck, leaning his forehead against mine. “Just let me hold you.”

That I can do. I only wish I had more to offer to comfort him. His voice sounds raw and pained. I can only imagine what he must be feeling. If my own crushed heart and knotted stomach are any indication, then his own pain must be unbearable. How can they do this to him? Put him in the cage with the brother of the man he killed? A man that is no match for his power. Aren’t there rules or something?

My initial shock and sadness is starting to wear off and I’ve moved onto pissed. Mad, angry, ready to take on a fight of my own. “We’ll get you out of this. You don’t have to do this. This isn’t sportsmanship, this is for ticket sales.” Have they no conscience? And what about safety? Preach said the brother is no match, that Nico will kill him. Aren’t they supposed to match up ability? I hear my own breath speed up, my anger getting the best of me.

Nico chuckles quietly. It’s barely there and I’m not even sure if what I heard is the sound of his laughter. But then he speaks and I know that I’m not mistaken, “Might have to keep you home for the fight…afraid you’re gonna jump in the cage and beat the crap out of the guy for me.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he speaks.