NEIL and Elaina wouldn’t take no for an answer. They had me over to their place for dinner, or came to our place every night since Ethan was away. I knew he’d arranged for them to babysit me, and I guess it made sense since they were just across the hall. Good thing I loved them both so much.

But they were newlyweds, and needed their private time together, I argued. Neil and Elaina were trying to make a baby of their own, and hanging out with me wasn’t doing them much good in that department. When I said so, they both laughed at me and made cryptic comments that had me wondering if they’d already managed it and just weren’t announcing the news yet. I hoped so. The two of them were so perfect together, and in getting to know them both so well, I’d learned how they’d been a part of each other’s lives since they were kids. The two of them were fated to be together from the very beginning. It made me so happy knowing true love had won out for them.

Ethan’s directive annoyed me, but at the same time, was so very typical of him. So protective, and caring…and cautious. I wondered how he was doing on the job with Prince Christian in the Swiss Alps. He’d dreaded to go as much as I hated him leaving. We hadn’t had time to work through our hiccup, and it was the worst feeling for me.

I missed my man dreadfully, and needed him back home. I wanted to unburden everything to him about what Lance had told me. And I hoped to hear whatever Ethan was willing to share with me, to get us back to where we’d been before that hideous night we fought over things that just weren’t worth hurting the one you love. Not to me. And, I know, not to him, either.

CHICKEN tacos with avocado and corn salsa, was my new pregnant comfort food. I tried to get Neil and Elaina to abandon their dinner plans with me by having it twice in one week, but they weren’t buying it, saying they loved my version of Mexican food. Bless their sweet Brit hearts. Because the British rendition of Mexican sucked, in my opinion. Maybe if my career in art conservation failed, I could do street-tacos and make a killing. I laughed inwardly at the idea of Ethan ever allowing me to entertain such a thing. I could set up next to Muriel’s newsstand on the street by Blackstone Security, and he could come down and have his lunch.

Neil loved cooking, so he was the one helping me in the kitchen. Elaina was off in the nursery working on the mural I’d planned out with her help. It was just a tree with birds and butterflies right now. Color and theme still to be determined, once we knew boy or girl…Thomas or Laurel.

“Do you know this was the very first meal I ever made for Ethan?” I popped a chunk of avocado in my mouth and savored it. “He brought along some Dos Equis, and ended up getting hooked on the Mexican beer and the Mexican food,” I said.

“I know,” Neil answered with a chuckle, as he added some spices to the sizzling chicken. “He talked about you all the time. Said you were a brilliant cook, and to give the Dos Equis a try with a sliver of lime.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah. I knew he was done-for at that point. Not because of the Mexican food, mind you, but because of the beer. He left off with the Guinness practically overnight,” he said with a snap of his fingers and a sorry shake of his head.

“That would be Ethan for you. He makes a decision about something, and that’s that.” I sighed pitifully, thinking about our unresolved “problems.”

Neil stopped chopping tomatoes and looked up at me. “He’ll be home soon, Brynne. There’s nowhere he wants to be but right here with you.”

“I know, but he left when things…weren’t right between us. Do you know why, Neil?” I asked, realizing it was entirely probable he did know.

He nodded. “Yeah. I saw the photos of you and Oakley at the coffee shop. Publicity Tweets is all that was to be expected really.”

“I didn’t think about that part. It was just something I had to do, and when Ethan gets home I will explain everything, but it just wasn’t the time for me right then, you know?”

Neil’s dark brown eyes were very warm and understanding. “The two of you will work through it, Brynne. I know Ethan, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. He’d walk through fire to get back with you.”

I stifled a sob and worked on the corn salsa. “Neil, what’s the deal with Sarah Hastings? When Ethan saw her again at your wedding, he was really affected by her presence, and not in a good way. He told me some of what happened to her husband, Mike, and how horrible his death was to witness. I understand that part of his trauma…and at the same time, I cannot imagine how devastating it is for him to remember when he has a flashback.”

“Sarah? She’s all right, and I can only guess that she has something to do with his therapy, but he hasn’t said—and I won’t ask.”

“I understand,” I said bleakly, realizing that I would just have to be patient with him, and wait until the time came when Ethan could tell me what role Sarah played in his emotional health. “Ethan told you about his therapy sessions with Dr. Wilson at the Combat Stress Centre?”

“He did, Brynne, and I am so glad he’s finally getting something in the way of support. I know it’s only because of you that he’s been able to get himself over there.”

“What happened to him was so horrible…” I trailed off, unable to even express my feelings about what Ethan had endured.

Neil stopped with the food prep altogether. “It was bad, Brynne, really bloody bad.”

“I know he feels guilt, he told me he does, but why does he? Being captured and tortured was not his fault.”

Neil hung his head and closed his eyes for just a moment. He paused with his head down over the kitchen counter for a long time. I figured he wouldn’t tell me anything, or couldn’t tell me because of strict rules within the British Army. But finally, he picked up his knife and returned to chopping vegetables, and then he started talking.

“I don’t know everything, but I know enough to puzzle it together. E’s shared what he could with me, and the rest I know because I heard the comms when they came through—the communications between base and squad when they’re out in the field. I commanded my own team, as did Ethan. I wasn’t there, just E and his men were. There were five troops, and Mike Hastings was one of them. None of them returned alive. Mike survived the ambush along with Ethan…and you know what happened there. E went through debriefing once he was returned, and he said on the day they planned to execute him, the building where he was being held was bombed into a pile of rubble. Nobody knows how E walked out of there alive. Not even he knows. He said he had no explanation of how or why he wasn’t crushed to bits in the blast. It was something truly miraculous.”